


A Land of Love and Ruin

by whisperedstory



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Post-Apocalypse, Don't copy to another site, M/M, Minor Character Death, Supernatural and J2 Big Bang Challenge 2019, Zombie Apocalypse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-06-28 02:47:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 45,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19803142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whisperedstory/pseuds/whisperedstory
Summary: After a virus wiped out most of humanity and turned some people into zombies, Jared is trying to get by on his own—until he's saved from zombies by Jeff one day and they set out to travel across the country to Texas together. Jeff makes no secret out of the fact that he's interested in Jared and despite his trust issues, Jared soon gives in to his own attraction to Jeff.But Jeff has someone waiting for him in Texas and even though he insists Jensen is just his best friend, Jared knows his feelings run a lot deeper. He plans to enjoy his relationship with Jeff for as long as he can and then let him go when they get to Texas. But Jeff refuses to give up on them.And then Jared meets Jensen. He expects to be jealous of the bond Jensen shares with Jeff or for Jensen to want Jeff to himself. But Jared gets along with Jensen as easily as he did with Jeff, and he falls for him as hopelessly as he did for Jeff. As a relationship blooms between the three of them, they set out to make a new life for themselves in a changed world. But between finding food and shelter, the approaching colder seasons as summer draws to an end and the threat of zombies as well as other survivors it's not always easy.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was written for the SPN/J2 Big Bang with lovely art ([on lj](https://phoenix1966.livejournal.com/33078.html) and [tumblr](https://phoenix1966sbottom.tumblr.com/post/186306069854/a-land-of-love-and-ruin-author)) by [phoenix1966](https://phoenix1966.livejournal.com). Please check out the art post and leave the artist some love!
> 
> A big thank you to:  
> \- [phoenix1966](https://phoenix1966.livejournal.com) for picking my fic and creating awesome art for it!  
> \- [Dancing_Adrift](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dancing_Adrift) for being the world's best beta and whipping this fic into shape.  
> \- [Theatregirl7299](https://theatregirl7299.livejournal.com/) for the initial read-through and the encouragement.  
> \- Wendy for running this challenge!

Jared's t-shirt is already starting to get damp with sweat, sticking to his skin uncomfortably even though it's barely noon yet. But the sun is beating down unforgivably today, the sweltering heat making each breath Jared takes feel too thick. Even inside the small store he's in right now it's hot and the air is stuffy, the smell of decayed food cloying, and he tries to hold his breath as he moves around.

He wishes he could unwrap the hoodie from around his waist, but his backpack is already filled almost to the brim and he needs some room for the food he hopes to find. His heavy hiking boots are too hot for this weather, too, but they're better for walking and Jared ditched his pair of sneakers a while ago.

There's only so much he can carry around with him and he's narrowed his belongings down to the bare necessities. Practicality trumps comfort these days. 

He longs to put his backpack down, at least for a few moments. His shoulders are aching and his back is dripping with sweat. But he never grants himself even that much respite when he's not absolutely sure he's alone, that there's no creeper anywhere close. 

It didn't take Jared very long to figure out that he always needs to be ready to run. 

Luckily, the majority of the small towns he passes through are completely abandoned these days. A lot of people already died months ago, after the virus first started spreading. Sometimes Jared thinks all those people are the ones that got lucky in the end, even though at the time Jared was terrified of getting sick as well. 

He stayed in Durham long after his college closed down, clinging to the hope that things would get better, that they'd find a cure, but the human population decimated at an exceeding rate. And then a new mutation of the virus spread, one that turned people into zombies instead of killing them. That's when Jared decided it was high time to get out of town. To get away from people. He avoids bigger towns when he can, but occasionally he's come across other stray survivors in smaller towns or on isolated farms and they're no less dangerous than the creepers. He's learned it's best to always be prepared to fight or flee, if he has to.

Jared sighs and uses his foot to brush through the heaps of trash on the floor—broken jars and bottles, packages that have been ripped open or squashed. The small general store has clearly been ransacked, probably more than once in the past couple of months, shelves upturned and emptied out. Pretty much every place Jared has come across is like this. More often than not, there's still something to find if he just looks hard enough, though.

People went into panic when news reports all over the world stopped calling the fast-spreading disease an infection and started using words like _zombie apocalypse_. Chaos broke out pretty much overnight and society went to shit within the span of a few weeks. There were riots and burning cities and mass hysteria. And at the same time more and more people got infected, so quickly that after a few short months most people were gone, most of them dead or some others turned. Leaving behind a wasteland and abandoned cities and people like Jared.

He tries not to think about it too hard; tries to focus on surviving—on finding food and shelter and avoiding creepers. Because if he thinks about it too hard, he starts questioning what he's even trying to survive for and the last few times that happened he got too damn close to putting a bullet into his own head.

Huffing, Jared shakes his head a little, as if he can shake those thoughts right off, and goes back to sorting through the rubble and trash for food. Eventually, he finds a can of peaches, a couple of protein bars, and a can of string beans.

"Gross," Jared mutters, but he stores it away in his backpack anyway. 

He ducks out of the store with his loot, trying to not make too much noise, when he sees movement out of the corner of his eye.

His breath catches in his throat, fear gripping his chest the way it always does in these situations, but he forces himself to stay calm and assess the situation. 

There are five creepers, heading right towards him and cutting off the shortest route out of the town.

"Shit," Jared mumbles and turns the other way. The road leads deeper into the town and he looks for a way out, a path between the old store fronts that he can escape through. His hand is on the holster, ready to draw, and his pace is brisk. He doesn't run, though—creepers are slow and he doesn't want to make more noise than he has to in case there's a whole hoard of them in town. 

The road weaves to the left and Jared comes to an abrupt halt when he sees even more creepers up ahead, about ten of them. Jared pulls his gun then, cursing under his breath. Taking the road behind him is obviously the better option after all, but he's still going to have to fight off five creepers. 

His stomach in knots, he turns back around. 

The creepers are already closer than he anticipated though and Jared grinds his teeth together and raises his gun, shooting before they can get any nearer. 

One, two, three loud bangs and then when he pulls the trigger again there's just an empty click. 

His three bullets hit two creepers, but the other three are heading right towards him still.

"No," Jared grunts, panic bubbling up inside of him. " _Fuck_."

He fumbles a little as he pats the holster down, looking for a new clip. Before he finds one, a shot rings out. Then a second and a third. All three creepers drop and Jared doesn't think any longer—he makes a run for it, knowing the noise will have drawn the other creepers to him. 

There's someone up ahead, a guy, with his gun still drawn, and Jared prays he doesn't intend to shoot him as well. 

"There are more coming that way," Jared calls out, waving his hand behind him as he gets closer.

"Shit, okay," the guy says, voice gruff. "Let's get out of here then, kid."

Being called a kid makes Jared's hackles rise, but he keeps his mouth shut and keeps running. The heavy backpack slows him down and Jared tries to focus on his breathing, putting one foot in front of the other.

If there are more creepers in town, the sound of their guns has surely attracted their attention, and the pounding of their boots on the pavement echoes loudly through the empty street. 

They run until they reach the last buildings, where the pavement turns into a dusty road. Jared's heart is pounding in his chest, both from running and fear. When they've put some distance between them and the town, they both slow down to a fast walk, panting heavily, and then finally stop completely. 

Jared puts his hands on his knees and sucks in a few deep, gasping breaths. Sweat is trickling down his temples and the back of his neck. Next to him, the other guy isn't doing much better.

Jared shoulders are aching even worse than before now and it takes a good minute until he feels like he can breathe properly again and he straightens up. He takes another peek at the guy then. He's not quite as tall as him, but more buff, with dark hair that's starting to go gray in some places and a full beard. He's older, probably in his late thirties or early forties. 

Good-looking, in a rugged-looking way.

Jared licks his lips, hitches his backpack a little higher. 

"You okay, kid?" the guy asks. "None of them got to you, right?"

Jared scoffs. "Seriously? You probably should have asked me that before you took off running with me," he points out, but he holds out his arms and tips his head up to bear his throat and neck, showing off his unmarred skin.

The guy laughs. "Well, you're pretty enough that it was a risk I was willing to take," he drawls out and winks at Jared.

The response startles Jared, before a flash of heat go through him, but he tries to ignore it, hoping he isn't flushing. 

Sure, the guy is hot. Incredibly hot, if Jared is honest with himself, but guys have gotten him into enough trouble already in his life. When the last guy he was with a few weeks ago got a bit too rough with him, Jared promised himself to pick his partners a bit more carefully from now on. That he wouldn't get involved with anyone unless he genuinely liked the guy, no matter what benefits he might get out of it otherwise. 

"I thought I was a kid?" he says with some bite, trying to sound cool. Distanced. 

The guy holds up his hands, eyes widening a little. "Sorry. I wasn't—" 

"Relax," Jared interjects. "I'm twenty."

"Twenty. Jesus Christ," the guy mutters. "You look older."

"Guess the end of the world kinda ages a person," Jared jokes dryly and runs a hand through his hair, which is damp with sweat and tangled. "And twenty is legal anyway. Not that it really matters anymore."

"Probably not, no," the guy agrees with a twisted smile. "I'm Jeff by the way."

"Jared," Jared replies and when Jeff holds out a hand, Jared shakes it. Jeff's hand is warm, palm a little calloused and dry, and his handshake isn't too firm. _Nice,_ but Jared tries not to deduce anything from that. The guy could still be a dick, even if he makes a good first impression.

Jared lets go of Jeff's hand and cranes his head back, checking. In the distance, near the houses, there's still some movement, but even if creepers are still following them, they're not fast enough to catch up with them anymore.

"Thanks for saving my ass, by the way," he adds. "You, uh, didn't have to do that."

Jeff raises one eyebrow, lips quirking into a smile. "There are lots of comments I could make about your ass right now, but I'm not sure they'd be appreciated."

Jared frowns. "Look…" he starts, his guard going up. Rejecting a guy can be just as dangerous as letting one in; Jared's learned that lesson, too. 

"Hey, no, it's okay. You're not interested in anything like that," Jeff says with an easy shrug, and Jared relaxes a little, nodding. 

It's easier to let Jeff think he doesn't have a chance with Jared. There's still a chance he might try anyway, but Jared has a gun and a knife if it comes to that. He knows he'll have to deal with Jeff for a little bit longer, at least, because the road ahead of them is the only path in sight and unless one of them wants to turn around and go back to the creepers, they're gonna be stuck together for a while.

*

Jared doesn't know why, when they get to a junction a good thirty minutes later and Jeff nods towards the right and says, "Let's head that way," he agrees instead of picking the other direction and splitting up.

He should say his good-byes and head the other way. Should stay on his own, because that's worked out better than being around other people for him so far.

And maybe that's exactly why he follows Jeff's lead now, because he's been on his own for a few weeks now and he's missed talking to someone, having someone at his side. It's nice to have some company again. They can walk together for a little while, chat a little, and split up later, Jared tells himself. 

But then junction after junction, they pick a direction together and Jared feels himself relax a little as they walk side by side, taking a couple of breaks to have some water and a quick snack. 

They reach a small forest after a few hours and Jeff stops under the first line of trees.

"This looks like a decent place," he says. 

Jared wipes a hand over his brow and squints at the sun through the sparse trees. There should be a good two hours before sunset, at least. He's warm and his left shoulder is starting to ache more and more, probably because he didn't pack the food he found in town properly and the weight isn't evenly distributed, and he's starting to feel hungry again.

Jared hums noncommittally in reply.

Jeff gives him a smile and sets his backpack down. He rolls his shoulders with a groan. "Well," he says and looks at Jared curiously. "Don't you want to put your stuff down?"

"You wanna stay here tonight?" Jared asks.

Jeff shrugs. "You wanna keep going? I like setting up for the night before it gets too dark. And this spot's probably as good as any."

He leans down and pulls a bottle of water out of the side of his backpack, untwisting the cap and taking a swig.

"I meant together," Jared clarifies, shifting.

"Why not?" Jeff asks. "We've been walking together for a few hours. Might as well have dinner and sleep by the fire."

"Because I owe you for saving my ass," Jared concludes. He curls his hands around the straps of his backpack so tightly it hurts a little, feels a surge of betrayal that tells him maybe he didn't keep his guard up the way he promised himself to. Even after just a couple of hours together, he was starting to hope Jeff really was a good guy. He seemed pretty genuine.

Jeff has stilled, watching him closely. "You think you owe me," he repeats.

"Isn't that how it always works?" Jared asks bitterly.

"Maybe with some people," Jeff says and shrugs. He gets back up and runs a hand through his hair. "I didn't help you out because I wanted something in return. If you want to leave, leave. But if you wanna stay here with me tonight, you're welcome to."

Some of the tension seeps out of Jared again. He bites his lip and considers the offer—but he's exhausted and he doesn't want to keep going. Dinner and sleep sound good, and it's been a while since he's had some company, much less good company. He doesn't fully trust Jeff, but he's willing to give him a chance for now.

"Okay," he finally decides, and puts his backpack down as well. "Right here?"

"Good enough, right?" Jeff says. 

"I've slept in worse places recently," Jared agrees, and Jeff snorts knowingly. Jared kneels down to undo the straps attaching his sleeping bag to his backpack, setting it aside without unrolling it yet.

He glances at Jeff, sees him stretching and yawning. It makes his shirt ride up a little and Jared's eyes rest on the sliver of skin showing above his jeans. He quickly readjusts his gaze before Jeff catches him looking.

Clearing his throat, he opens his backpack next. "Are you hungry?" he asks.

"Hmm, a little, yeah," Jeff says. "You know any card games, kid? I got a deck."

"A few," Jared says, but doesn't elaborate. He barely knows any and no names come to his mind.

"Rummy?" Jeff suggests. "Keep it simple."

Jared licks his lips and then nods. "I remember playing that when I was younger," he says. "Maybe give me a quick brush-up on the rules?" 

"Sure," Jeff says and smiles easily.

*

They heat up a can of chicken soup in a small pot over the fire they make and eat right out of the pot, sitting across from each other. Once they're done and Jeff has rinsed out the empty pot with a bit of water, he pulls out the deck of cards.

The first round, Jeff wins by a small margin, and then Jared wins the next three games.

"I didn't know I was playing against a card shark," Jeff teases, gathering the cards again.

Jared shrugs as Jeff begins to shuffle them. "Probably just luck," he downplays. He's always been good at things that require logic and strategy. But being good at math and being in chess club never really helped him make friends.

Jeff deals them both their cards and flips the one on top of the deck over. Jared gathers his cards and skims them before he begins sorting them. 

"Your turn to start," Jeff says. 

It takes three turns for Jared to win the game this time, and Jeff's still holding half of his cards in his hands.

"Luck, huh?" he asks.

Jared shifts. "I got dealt decent cards." 

"Maybe," Jeff hums and smiles at Jared.

"What?" 

"Nothing," Jeff says and stretches. "I think smart guys are pretty hot." 

"Good for you," Jared scoffs, and quickly gathers their cards, ducking his head so Jeff won't see the blush on his cheeks.

*

It takes a while for Jared to fall asleep that night. It's comforting to have someone else around again, but Jeff is a stranger and Jared doesn't fully relax until he hears Jeff's breath even out, soft snores emitting from where he's sleeping. 

They've spread their sleeping bags out on opposite sides of the fire and the last few flames are casting enough light for Jared to see Jeff. And now that he can, without Jeff being aware of it, he can't help but look at him. 

If Jeff really is as nice a guy as he seems to be, then Jared might be in trouble if he sticks around for much longer. He can't deny that he's physically drawn to Jeff. He likes older guys, likes the way Jeff's beard is starting to go a little gray, the way it makes him look more distinguished. There's a softness to Jeff, too, in the way he smiles and in his eyes, but he also has a quiet way of taking control of things and _that_ Jared likes more than he should. But so far Jeff hasn't tried to take advantage of him, in any shape or form, and Jared doesn't mind being around him. 

Jared licks his lips and tries to remain still, so his sleeping bag won't rustle too loudly and rouse Jeff. 

He needs to be careful with Jeff, at least until they know each other better. And if something happens—and that's a big if—it'll be for the right reasons. It'll be because Jared wants to. Not because Jeff saved him. Not because Jeff might help him again, might keep him safe and fed. Jared's over doing that. Even for guys who look as hot as Jeff.

*

It's warm, even though the sun isn't high in the sky yet, the early morning light still a little murky. Jeff's sitting cross-legged with his back against a tree and Jared is sitting on top of his sleeping bag, the fabric bunched up around him, socked feet hidden by it.

"Are you heading somewhere special?" Jeff asks, spooning a piece of peach into his mouth from a can.

"Not really," Jared says, hiding another yawn behind his hand. "Just trying to keep moving."

"Yeah?" Jeff asks. "You know, I'm heading south if you want to tag along. I wouldn't mind having some company."

He smiles at Jared as he says it, wide and genuine. His eyes crinkle up a little when he does that and he has dimples, half-hidden by the beard. 

"Are you going anywhere in particular?" Jared asks, trying to sound disinterested. He doesn't want to like the idea of sticking together, but he can't deny that the thought of not being all alone for a while makes his chest ache a little.

Maybe this time will be different. Maybe it won't be so bad, at least for a little while.

"This place outside of Dallas. I'm meeting someone there."

"Seriously?" Jared lets out a small snort in disbelief.

Jeff nods. 

"And you think they'll be there?" Jared prods. "I mean, no offense. But… you know."

"Yeah, I know. But he'll be there," Jeff says firmly and he sounds so convinced Jared is a little baffled. The virus made people drop like flies and even those who didn't get infected haven't been safe since. Chances are whoever Jeff wants to meet isn't around anymore and Jeff seems like a smart guy, a reasonable guy. 

"So, what do you say?" Jeff asks. "Wanna keep me company for a while?"

Jared thinks about it for a moment, about the decisions he made last night about Jeff, and he knows that, even then, he'd already decided to stick with Jeff if Jeff offered. He seems like a nice enough guy and if he wanted to hurt Jared, he probably could have done so last night. Jared is probably reasonably safe with him and that's good enough for now.

"Okay. Why not? Just for a little while at least," he agrees.

*

Jeff looks at the compass in his hand before clipping it back to the strap of his backpack by the snap hook. "We need to make sure we don't get too far west."

"Which is where?" Jared asks, looking up at the sky and trying to remember what he was taught about the sun and directions.

Jeff chuckles and points to his right. "We're heading southwest right now, so let's stick to the left at the next intersection."

"Okay," Jared agrees and sighs. "Man, I miss my phone. Google Maps would be amazing right now."

"Yeah," Jeff laughs. "But I was born before all that stuff, so I at least still know how to use a compass and read a map."

"I can read a map," Jared huffs, but he's not genuinely upset. Jeff has a point—Jared depended entirely too much on his phone before and had an app for pretty much anything, and all of that is utterly useless now. "We also need to find a stream or river. Somewhere where we can fill up on water. I doubt your compass can help us with that, huh?"

"Are you thirsty?" Jeff asks, reaching behind him towards the bottle at the left side of his backpack. 

"I'm good for now." Jared gives a small shake of his head. "But thank you."

Jeff nods. "Okay. Let me know if you change your mind. I've got enough to tide us over for a while still."

"Thanks," Jared replies and ducks his head and tries to bite back the smile on his face. 

There's something about Jeff, a kindness that Jared has stopped expecting from people. It's barely been 24 hours since they met, but Jared's guard is starting to come down more and more. He wouldn't call it trust yet, but he's starting to hope that Jeff really is as good guy as he seems to be. He hasn't met a lot of those in the past few weeks and it's made him even more wary of people than he already was to begin with. But Jeff—the way he smiles at Jared, the way he talks to him and treats him, makes Jared warm up to him quickly.

*

Sweat is making the hair at the back of Jared's neck cling to his skin in damp strands and his skin feels too warm, flushed from the midday heat. He finishes filling up the two plastic bottles he carries with him, making sure the caps are screwed tight, and stores them away in his backpack again. Then he leans forward, cups some water in his hands and splashes it onto his face. Next to him, Jeff is doing the same thing. The collar of his shirt is already soaking wet, drops of water clinging to his skin, and Jared tries hard not to look at him for too long and be caught staring. Despite how scorching hot it is today, Jeff doesn't seem quite as affected by it as Jared. The pits and back of his t-shirt are showing some sweat, but he looks pretty composed otherwise. Jared feels like a sweaty, flushed mess in comparison. He cups some more water in his hands, splashes his face again and then runs his wet, cold hands down his neck. 

"We should take a break," Jeff suggests. "No use in either of us getting heatstroke."

"Yeah, okay," Jared agrees gratefully. 

Jeff gets up and then holds out one hand, hauling Jared up when he takes it. His hand is warm and damp, his grip firm.

There are some trees not too far away, by the water, and they sit down in the shade, their backpacks resting against their sides. Jared stretches his legs out and sighs. "I wish I had been more into working out," he groans. 

"You look like you're in pretty good shape," Jeff replies. He tosses a small grin at Jared, his eyes roaming over Jared shamelessly.

"Are you like this with everyone?" Jared asks with a groan, trying to ignore the way Jeff is making his stomach squirm. There's something playful in the way Jeff flirts with him; he isn't pushing and Jared doesn't feel any pressure from him, which is a nice change. 

"Just really hot guys," Jeff quips. 

Jared huffs out a laugh. "Thanks, I guess," he says.

"Just calling it like I see it, sweetheart."

Jared chooses not to reply to that, not really sure how to react to Jeff's flirting. He rolls his shoulders, feeling the tension there, and cocks his head to the side. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"This guy you're meeting. You really think he'll be there?" Jared asks and then winces. "I don't wanna be an ass, but…"

"But there's a pretty good chance he won't make it," Jeff finishes and sighs. "I know that. Or maybe I won't make it. But I gotta try anyway. I gotta believe he'll be there, waiting."

"He must be pretty special."

"He is," Jeff says, his voice softer. Fond. "Most important person in my life."

"Boyfriend?" Jared guesses and then turns his head down, feeling a flash of unease at the thought even though he knows he shouldn't. "Sorry. Probably none of my business."

"He's my best friend. My family," Jeff clarifies. "We used to see each other, yeah. And, well, kinda have been off and on. But it was never anything serious and we haven't seen each other in over a year."

"Why not? I mean, why weren't you ever together if he means that much to you?" Jared asks and wiggles a little, trying to get more comfortable. He can't imagine what it's like to genuinely love someone, but he thinks if he ever was he would want to be with the guy. Jared's had crushes and he's been physically attracted to guys, but it's never gone past that. Hell, more than once he wasn't even attracted to the guy he slept with. 

"We're too damn alike. We never balanced each other out," Jeff says. "We're similar in a lot of ways and we aren't what the other needs in a partner, I guess."

"But you're in love with him," Jared says, and he doesn't bother phrasing it as a question. It's obvious, just from the look on Jeff's face, the way he talks about this guy.

Jeff shrugs and then huffs out a short laugh. "Yeah, alright. I'm in love with him. Part of me always will be. But that doesn't change anything."

"Okay."

"I wouldn't flirt with you if I was taken," Jeff adds and there's no humor in his voice then. Jared doesn't really know what to do with that—with how damn serious Jeff sounds about this. 

"Oh, you're flirting with me?" he mocks, trying to play it off.

Jeff shakes his head, grinning. "You're something else, Jared," he says. "You know, if it makes you uncomfortable…"

It's an easy out. Jared could say yes and maybe Jeff would stop. And maybe he'd lose interest in Jared and they'd go their separate ways, and that would be okay, too, because this isn't supposed to be a long-term arrangement anyway. 

But Jared finds himself saying, "No, it's fine."

And he means it. He doesn't want Jeff to stop. Because he likes it, likes Jeff's attention.

Jeff's smile gets softer. "Okay. Good to know," he says.

*

Jared watches Jeff grip a thick branch, placing his foot on another one and pushing himself up higher. There's a nest there and Jeff grins as he peers in. "Jackpot," he calls down to Jared.

"Just hurry," Jared replies. 

Jeff looks down at him, his grin turning more amused. "Are you scared we'll get attacked by an angry mama bird?"

"Birds can be vicious," Jared replies, and Jeff doesn't need to know that his opinion is based on having watched _The Birds_ one too many times. 

"Can you catch them?" Jeff asks, already reaching into the nest. 

He leans down and Jared reaches up, cupping his hands together. The first egg drops down, landing perfectly in the palms of his hands. It's small, smaller than a chicken egg, the shell blue and spotted and something about that doesn't sit quite right with Jared even though his mouth waters at the thought of scrambled eggs. He puts the egg down carefully into the grass and then holds his hands up again, catching the remaining four eggs one after the other.

*

"It's really not that different from chicken eggs," Jared says, chewing slowly.

Jeff gives him a little grin and shovels some more scrambled eggs into his mouth. "You telling me or trying to convince yourself?" he asks, his voice muffled by the food.

Jared makes a face.

"It's just eggs, sweetheart," Jeff says with an amused tilt of his mouth. The nickname is stuck around since the first day, and Jared barely reacts to it anymore after spending a few days with Jeff now.

"I've been sticking to cans and whatever I can find in stores and houses," he admits.

Jeff laughs. "Well, this is good for you. Protein. So eat up."

"Could have turned into a little baby bird," Jared says, but he smiles and eats some more. "Do you do this a lot?"

"Do what? Eat eggs?" Jeff asks. 

"No. You know, the whole wilderness survival thing. Finding food in the wild," Jared elaborates and shrugs, feeling a little silly for even asking, because it's not like Jeff caught a wild boar bare-handedly. But the only food Jared has had that hasn't come from a store—or someone's pantry he'd raided in the last few weeks—has been an apple he picked off a tree and even then he was a little worried about accidentally poisoning himself. 

"Nah." Jeff snorts and gives a little shake of his head. "Mostly been doing what you're doing. I don't really know how to do anything else. I was never much for all the outdoor stuff before."

Jared nods. "What did you do? Before, I mean."

Jeff smiles, wide and genuine. "I ran a bar. It was a pretty sweet job, but more work than you'd think," he says. "But I've done a lot of different stuff over the years—never been one to stick with one thing for too long. I did a crap-ton of bartending in bars all over. I worked in a garage for a while and did some construction work. I was actually a paramedic, thought about becoming a doctor one day, way back when, but after a while I realized that wasn't really for me." 

"Bet it comes in handy now, though." 

"I guess. I hope that won't be necessary any time soon," Jeff admits. "It's great when you can help someone, but it sucks when you can't."

"But at least you have some skills that help you," Jared points out.

"And if things ever get better, I can mix a mean martini," Jeff jokes and nudges Jared with his foot. "We all have some skills that are useful at some point. We wouldn't have made it this far if we didn't have any survival skills." 

"I guess," Jared replies and shrugs. 

He's not sure if that's really true. He was a college kid who didn't know much about anything, really. Mostly, really, Jared has survived due to sheer luck. The skills he has that have brought him here aren't something to brag about and certainly not something he's going to share with Jeff. He's not sure if it's because he's worried it would give Jeff ideas about what Jared is willing to do for a favor or because he's scared Jeff would be disgusted, turn his back on Jared because he's used sex more than once to help him out of a tight spot.

"Were you in college?" Jeff asks. "You're the right age and smart, too."

Jared looks at Jeff and nods. "I was about to finish my sophomore year. Didn't get very far before things turned to shit." 

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," Jeff says.

Jared shrugs the apology off, giving Jeff a wry smile. "We're all going through the same shit, right?"

"Yeah. But I bet you had big plans for yourself. I was just messing around my entire life. Never stayed in one place for too long, never sticking to a job for more than a couple of years," Jeff says. "You'll never get to do what you wanted to."

"Engineering," Jared says quietly, and yeah, it sucks that he never got to do that. Never got to graduate and make something out of himself. Never got to do much of anything, really.

Jeff sighs. "You're too damn young for this," he says.

Jared smiles wryly. "I'm not sure anyone is old enough to live in a post-apocalyptic world."

Jeff sighs and reaches out, placing a hand on Jared's shoulder and giving it a squeeze. "Guess that's true, yeah. But it is what it is, huh?"

Jared nods.

"So, college. Were you far from home then?"

The idea of home doesn't really hold any meaning for Jared. His dorm room, with the roommate who rarely talked to him, was more home than the house he grew up in, but it's not something he talks about. When someone asked him about it at college, he gave vague, non-committal answers about a normal, boring childhood. "Yeah," he says now.

"You have a twang. Southern, right?" 

"Texas," Jared confirms. "I attended Duke University. So, you know, didn't stick close to home." 

"Texas," Jeff repeats, sounding surprised. "Whereabouts? We can go there, if you want to go home. See if there's anyone there."

"No. There's nobody left," Jared says, and for all he knows that's not even a lie. 

*

Jared sees the smoke billowing up wispily behind the small hill first. 

"Jeff," he murmurs, keeping his voice quiet. Jeff follows his gaze and they both stop moving. 

For a moment, there's nothing but the sound of leaves rustling in the wind, but then Jared hears laughter, distant and muffled. Jared tenses, feels fear rise in his chest.

"What do you want to do?" Jeff asks. His hand lands on Jared's forearm, curling around it gently.

"Let's go that way," Jared says, nodding away from the hill. 

Jeff nods. "Yeah, let's," he says. His hand slides lower and when their palms brush, Jared grabs Jeff's hand in his. 

"We're far enough away that they won't hear us," Jeff murmurs. "It's okay, sweetheart." 

Jared nods, but he notices that Jeff is walking quietly, carefully as they start moving again. Their hands remain clasped together and Jeff's other hand is resting lightly on the butt of his gun in its holster. 

It's not until they've put some distance between themselves and the other people that Jared breathes easier and they settle back into their normal pace. Jeff lets go of his hand then and Jared admits to himself that he misses his touch.

"I've had some run-ins with people in the last few weeks, and most of them have been pretty bonkers," Jeff says into the silence.

"Yeah, I haven't had the best experiences in the last few weeks either," he admits.

Jeff nods. "It's why I've decided to avoid bigger cities. If it's not survivors, it's creepers. Both tend to be equally unpleasant most of the time."

"Why'd you help me out then?" 

"I don't know. I guess I was tired of being all on my own. And, you know, you're cute." The last part is said with a teasing grin that Jared has become all too familiar with over the past couple of weeks.

Jared laughs. "That's a shitty reason to trust someone."

"Yeah, well. You came with me. Why's that?"

Jared bites back a smile. "At least it definitely wasn't because you're cute." 

"But ruggedly handsome," Jeff guesses. 

Jared studies Jeff, humming thoughtfully. "No, that can't be it either," he mocks, his stomach fluttering a little. The attraction he's been trying hard to ignore since they met is hard to brush off in that moment, but it's not just that. He wants to reach out and take Jeff's hand back in his, because that simple touch had felt good. Soothing. Nobody has ever made him feel that way. He had a couple of crushes on guys back in school, but it wasn't like this. Those guys were attractive, but that was pretty much all there was to it. The guys in high school all treated Jared like shit and it's hard to feel butterflies when a guy hurls slurs at you in the school hallway, no matter how good he looks in a pair of gym shorts. There'd been two guys in college, but both had been casual, purely physical relationships. 

But after just a couple of weeks together, Jeff is actually starting to make him feel things and that's both exciting and scary.

*

The next afternoon heavy dark clouds come piling in quickly and the sky breaks open from one moment to the next, rain pouring down heavily. 

They're soaked to the bone by the time they find shelter in a cluster of three small houses. They're all empty and ransacked, and Jared feels a twist in his stomach as he watches the swing in front of one sway in the wind. 

They settle on the house that looks the oldest and set up for the night in the living room. There are empty rooms upstairs, but neither of them suggests splitting up for the night. There's no firewood, but there's a rickety old wooden chair, the back already splintered, that they break apart for kindling before peeling out of their wet clothes and laying them down on the floor close to the fire to dry. 

"You're shivering, sweetheart," Jeff murmurs once they're dressed in the few dry clothes they found in the depths of their backpacks. 

Jared rubs his arms and nods, and Jeff scoots over until he's pressed up against his side.

"How about we eat and settle down for the night. We can zip our sleeping bags together," he suggests and slides his arm around Jared's shoulders, rubbing them. "Just for warmth. I don't want us to get sick."

"Yeah, okay," Jared agrees, and he feels nervous not out of worry, but excitement.

He misses being close to someone. And Jeff isn't just anyone, not anymore. He's nothing like the last guy Jared was with and Jared knows he doesn't have to worry with him. The last couple of weeks together have been enough for Jared to start trusting Jeff, but more than that, Jared can't remember the last time he felt this safe and taken care of. And there's the idea of Jensen hovering still, but that's a hurdle that feels far into the future. There's something here, between him and Jeff. He knows Jeff knows it too, and yet he isn't pushing things any further. 

And that's what makes Jared want to give it a try. 

*

They have dinner and then set up their sleeping bags, sliding into them fully clothed. Jeff curls up behind him, putting his arm around Jared, but Jared can tell he's trying to keep his touch light. Innocent.

Jared presses back, against Jeff, and then he curls his hand over Jeff's and pushes it down to his crotch before he can change his mind. 

"Sweetheart. We don't have to do that," Jeff says gently.

"Please," he murmurs. He squirms, heat spreading low in his stomach. Jeff hasn't moved his hand away, but it's just resting over Jared's cock, warm and heavy. Jared wants him to touch him, just as much as he wants to arch back, rub himself against Jeff.

"Are you sure?" Jeff asks.

"Yes," Jared replies and holds his breath. His cock is starting to fill, getting hard under Jeff's palm.

Jeff nuzzles Jared's neck and slips his hand up. Jared is about to protest, to plead, when Jeff tugs the end of Jared's belt out of the loop and undoes the buckle. 

He brushes a dry kiss against Jared's neck, and worms his other hand under Jared's body. 

"Lift up a little," he murmurs.

Jared does, and Jeff slides his arm fully around him. He rests his hand on Jared's stomach, pulling him back against his body while undoing his jeans with the other.

His fingers flirt over the waistband of Jared's underwear, skimming over skin where his sweater has ridden up. "Okay?" Jeff murmurs.

"Yeah. You can stop asking," Jared says, anticipation coiling deep in his belly. "Please, Jeff. I want this."

"Okay, I got you," Jeff reassures softly and then slides his hand into Jared's underwear. "Gonna make you feel so good, baby."

Jared moans as Jeff curls his hand around his cock. He pulls Jared out and gives him a couple of strokes, agonizingly slow, and then flicks his thumb over the head of Jared's dick. Jared knows he's a little wet already, and he flushes with how far gone he already is. He feels so turned on and needy, in a way he never has, not even during those first few fumblings as an awkward teenager.

"Jeff," he gasps. 

"Shh, I got you," Jeff murmurs back. He runs his thumb over Jared's slit again, gathering more precome and smearing it down as he moves his hand. He slides his other hand under Jared's sweater, resting it on bare skin, and traces small circles onto Jared's sternum with his thumb as he starts jerking Jared off. He's taking it slow, but his strokes are smooth and firm, and Jared arches into his hand eagerly.

"God," he mutters.

"Good?" Jeff asks.

"Yeah." Jared nods his head and sighs. He cranes his head back and Jeff's lips find his, wordlessly giving Jared what he's seeking. The angle is awkward, but Jared feels like he's flying. Jeff's beard tickles against his skin and his hand is a little rough with callouses, and there isn't a single thing about this that isn't turning Jared on so fast that his head is spinning. Jeff kisses him deep and dirty, eats the moans out of his mouth as his hand starts working Jared faster. He holds Jared tight, presses their bodies together until Jared can't do more than hitch his hips forward needily. He can feel how hard Jeff is as well, the thick bulge in his jeans pressing against Jared's ass. 

Jeff breaks the kiss, trails his mouth over Jared's cheek to his jaw, his beard rasping against Jared's skin. Jared shudders in Jeff's arms, pleasure building. 

He lets out a broken sound when Jeff stops. "Why—"

"Shh, just a sec," Jeff says. He lets go of Jared completely and unzips their sleeping bags, pulling the fabric back so Jared's front is exposed and he hisses. "Don't wanna mess this thing up," Jeff explains.

"Cold," Jared complains.

"I'll warm you right up, baby," Jeff teases. He spits into his palm before taking Jared in hand again, and Jared moans at how good it feels when Jeff starts moving his hand up and down again. The spit makes it easier, and Jeff tightens his grip.

"Come on," Jeff says. He nips at Jared's jaw. "I can tell you're close already, Jay."

Jared whines in reply, tossing his head back against Jeff's shoulder. 

"Come for me, sweetheart," Jeff says, his voice rough. He's moving his hand fast now, gripping Jared tightly just the way he likes it, and Jared moans brokenly and then lets out a stifled cry as his orgasm crashes over him. He feels it everywhere, the pleasure making his entire body burn, and he trembles through it. 

Jeff keeps stroking him, slowly now, murmuring into Jared's ear. "So good for me."

When it gets to be too much, Jared curls his hand over Jeff's wrist, and Jeff stills. He nuzzles the spot behind Jared's ear, kisses it. "Fuck, baby," he rasps. 

Jared lets out a breathless laugh, feeling a little loopy. He squirms and turns around in Jeff's embrace, smiling when Jeff pulls him into a kiss before he's even fully facing him. One hand settles on Jared's ass, gripping him and holding him close. 

"Let me," Jared says against Jeff's mouth before pulling back. "Wanna touch you, Jeff."

"You don't have to," Jeff says, and Jared reaches for his fly.

"Wanna," he says. "God. So fucking much, I swear."

Jeff makes a sound, and Jared slips his hand down his pants, smiling when the first touch of his hand makes Jeff moan.

"Big," he murmurs as he wraps his fingers around Jeff's cock and then kisses him. 

It doesn't take long, a few firm strokes, and Jeff grunts into his mouth and spills in his hand. 

Jared kisses him through it, and then frees his hand and brings it up. In the dim light, he grins at Jeff before he starts licking his fingers clean.

*

Jared wakes up cuddled up against Jeff. His face is tucked into the warm crook of Jeff's neck and Jeff's arms are firmly around him. Jared takes a moment to just lie there, soaking in the feeling of being this close to someone, of being held like this. With everyone else he's been with, it was usually just about sex and he can count the times he's woken up with someone like this on one hand. 

He feels content, lying here with Jeff. And he hopes it won't be awkward when Jeff wakes up, hopes that last night wasn't just a one-time thing. 

Jared sighs, thinking about it.

Jeff makes a quiet, sleepy noise and his arms tighten momentarily around Jared before he lazily strokes one hand down Jared's back.

"Morning," Jared says quietly, words muffled against Jeff's skin, and then holds his breath, waiting for Jeff's reaction.

There's a moment of silence and then Jeff makes another noise and shifts against him.

"Morning, sweetheart," Jeff rasps, his voice thick with sleep. The familiar term of endearment makes Jared smile, quietening down the worries , and he moves to tip his head back and look at Jeff.

"Sleep well?" Jeff asks him, eyes barely open yet. He's smiling too and he cups Jared's face with one hand as he speaks.

"Yeah. You?"

Jeff hums in reply and leans in, brushing his lips against Jared's. It's a quick kiss, barely more than a peck, but to Jared it's better than the kisses they shared the night before. 

Jeff's still smiling when he pulls back and he rubs his thumb gently over Jared's cheekbone.

"Let's see what we have left for breakfast, huh?" he asks.

"Hmm, yeah," Jared agrees, though he wishes they could stay like this a little longer. Jeff unzips their sleeping bags and sits up, dragging his backpack closer as Jared sits up as well.

He yawns, tugging his hoodie down into place as Jeff starts rummaging around.

"I think the closest thing we have to breakfast food is beans," he finally announces.

Jared makes a face. "Yeah, okay."

Jeff pulls out two cans and tosses one into Jared's lap, grinning at him a little. "Hey, beans for breakfast is a British thing, right?" he asks. "Just pretend I took you on a nice, romantic trip to England and suddenly it's not so bad." 

"I'm pretty sure they have more than just beans for breakfast. Or well, maybe these days they don't—if there's anyone left overseas."

"Fine, I blew all my money on the plane tickets. This is all we can afford on our little European getaway." 

"Wow, way to impress me," Jared teases.

Jeff grins and knocks his shoulder against Jared's before passing the can opener to him. "I know how to treat a guy."

*

"We sharing again?" Jeff simply asks the following night. Jared gives him a little grin and nods, but he still feels a wave of nervousness as they slide into the sleeping bags together, wondering what will happen. If anything will happen. 

It's Jeff who finally makes the first move, settling a warm hand on Jared's hip and leaning in, kissing Jared softly.

Jeff doesn't ask again the next night, simply zips their sleeping bags together when they set up their little camp. This time Jared presses in close right away, kissing Jeff and slipping his leg between Jeff's.

*

The store is pretty damn big and despite the disarray it's in, there's plenty to find. They cram as much as they can into their backpacks—a variety of cans, ramen, powdered soup, a couple of packages of jerky, and, to Jared's delight, a couple bags of Skittles that don't look like they have been trampled on. 

Once the food is out of the way, they roam around the store some more and pick up a few other bits and pieces. Jared finds a box of razor blades and Jeff quirks an eyebrow at him.

"Really?"

"Grizzly lumberjack isn't a good look everyone can pull off the way you can," Jared replies and Jeff laughs.

"I was thinking hot biker guy," he muses.

Jared gives Jeff a once-over. "You think you're that cool?" he jokes and then takes his backpack off to store the blades away. He has a razor tucked away at the bottom, but the blade's slowly starting to get too blunt.

"You don't?" Jeff shoots back. 

"Not really," Jared says and ducks out of the way when Jeff tries to swat him.

"Brat," he says fondly. "Come on, let's see if they have some decent clothes and maybe some new soap. I'm starting to get pretty ripe."

"It's not too bad," Jared replies honestly, and Jeff gives him a look that makes Jared's stomach squirm with heat.

"Noted," Jeff murmurs pointedly.

*

They almost run into a couple of creepers when they round the corner a few blocks away from the store. They're bent over a half-rotten body, eating. Jared shifts back, almost bumping into Jeff, who is moving back as well. 

"You saw them?" Jared whispers.

"Yeah." 

"Think that's another creeper?" Jared asks quietly. "Doesn't look like a fresh body." 

"Maybe," Jeff replies. He pulls his gun and cocks it. "So, shoot them or try to find another way out?"

Jared bites down onto his lower lip. "The town seemed pretty damn deserted so far," he muses. "There can't be many more. And that seems to be the fastest way out of town by far."

Jeff lifts his gun. "Okay," he says. "I take the one further left, you further right?" 

Jared nods and draws his own gun. Jeff meets his eyes and then gives a small nod. They both take a step forward, guns raised, and the creepers barely have time to lift their heads before both Jeff and Jared fire. 

The shots ring loud in the empty town, and when the creepers both slump down, Jeff puts his safety back on. When Jared has put his gun into his holster again, Jeff curls his hand around his elbow and gives him a little pull. "Come on, let's get out of here."

"Yeah," Jared says and glances back behind them. There's nothing down the street, no movement, but both he and Jeff walk more briskly.

*

Jared sneaks glances at Jeff as they both strip out of their clothes. He's seen him shirtless and jerked him off a handful of times, but he hasn't seen Jeff fully naked so far. Not like this—not where he can look without having to worry about getting caught. Before, when they cleaned up, they usually gave each other some privacy, but this time neither of them mentioned it and both started stripping when they set their things down by the small lake.

Jeff finishes first and Jared is pretty sure he walks into the lake extra slowly on purpose, turning back once and giving Jared the perfect view of his body. He has several tattoos, a big cross on his upper arm and a pirate skull that spans his left pec, and more body hair than Jared. His cock is thick and heavy, nestled in dark curls, and Jared knew all of that, but seeing him like this now almost makes Jared's breath catch with how damn attracted he is to Jeff.

"Come on, slowpoke," Jeff says, grinning. 

Jared pushes his boxer-briefs down his legs and tries not to blush at the way Jeff has stopped moving and is openly staring at him now.

He follows Jeff into the water, hissing a little at how cold it is. 

"It's not that bad," Jeff teases, and Jared splashes water at him but doesn't stop moving deeper into the lake. 

The water is damn cold, but it feels nice on his skin after a day of walking and when Jeff gets the soap and they both scrub themselves clean, Jared almost feels like a new person. He gets several days' worth of grime off his skin and washes his hair, and when he's done with that he heads for the shore to grab the razor. 

"You gonna do that yourself without a mirror?" Jeff asks.

Jared shrugs. "I always do. I don't grow much of a beard anyway," he says.

Jeff shakes his head. "Come back here. Let me do it," he says. 

Jared nods and moves back to where Jeff is, hip-deep in the water. There's no hesitation, and it surprises him a little that he trusts Jeff to do this.

Jeff still has the soap and he starts rubbing it between his hands, working up a thick lather. "Get your face damp for me, sweetheart."

Jared splashes some water at his jaw and chin. 

"Good. Now hold the soap," Jeff says, and Jared takes it from him, careful not to let it slip from his hands.

"Okay," he murmurs quietly. Jeff smiles at him and brings his soapy hands up.

"Keep your mouth shut, baby, or you'll get soap in it," he says and then cups Jared's face, spreading the soap around. Once he's done he takes the razor from Jared, takes the plastic cap off the blade, and puts two fingers under Jared's chin, angling it up a little.

"Hold still," he says softly and then gives Jared a second before setting the razor against his skin. 

He shaves Jared with careful, smooth strokes, the soap helping the razor slide over Jared's skin, and Jeff guides Jared's face with a gentle touch, tipping it to the sides and then up. Jared holds perfectly still, watching Jeff's face as he works. He's starting to feel a little chilly in the water, not moving around, and he's glad when Jeff lowers the razor and gives him a little grin.

"All done," he says. 

"Thanks," Jared says, and then grimaces when he tastes some of the soap clinging to his lips.

"Give me the soap and the cap, and you can rinse off," Jeff says, taking both items out of Jared's hands and giving him a small smile before he heads for the shore.

Jared stays back long enough to wash the remainder of soap off his face and then he follows Jeff, more than ready to get out of the water now and warm up a little.

The towel he has in his backpack is small, so it doesn't take up too much space, and Jared still feels a little damp by the time he finishes drying off. Jeff's already in his boxers and a shirt and he closes the small distance between them.

"Let me see if I did a good job," he says with a grin and peers at Jared's face before cupping it in his hands with a pleased hum.

"Happy with what you see?"

"Yeah," Jeff says, his voice quiet. "You're goddamn beautiful." 

He leans up, catches Jared's mouth with his. He licks his way into Jared's mouth slowly, slides their tongues together, all slick and hot, and despite the sun shining onto Jared's back, he shivers against Jeff.

*

It feels fantastic to be clean and have some decent food. Jared is in a really good mood that evening. 

They build a small fire by the shore, rolling out their sleeping bags nearby and heating up some canned ravioli. They both eat straight out of the pot, sitting side by side. Their forks clink together and more than once they nudge each other away, playfully fighting over the same bite of food.

"It's almost like we're just camping," Jared says when they're done and have put everything away again.

Jeff shifts next to him, their arms pressed together. "Yeah, it is. Sometimes you can almost pretend none of this ever happened, right?"

"Yeah," Jared agrees. "Though I've never been camping in my life." 

"Never?" Jeff asks with a grin.

"Nah," Jared says and shakes his head. "You?"

"A few times, yeah," Jeff says. "Not in a long time though."

He slides an arm around Jared, resting his hand on his hip, and turns his head, kissing his cheekbone. "This is nice, huh?" 

Jared nods in agreement and presses a soft kiss to Jeff's mouth. "Wanna lie down?" he murmurs, trying to sound seductive though he knows he's failing horribly at it. Jeff doesn't seem to mind though, because he grins at Jared and kisses him again, deeper this time.

"Let's," he says, his voice low and raspy, and that alone makes heat wash through Jared. 

They lie down on top of the sleeping bags and they've barely settled before Jeff drags Jared into another kiss. Their mouths slide together and Jeff coaxes Jared's lips apart and slides his tongue inside. They're pressed in close, and as they kiss Jeff guides one of Jared's legs over his and rolls their hips together.

"Jeff," Jared whines against his mouth, the friction of their cocks rubbing against each other, even through the layers of jeans, sending sparks through his body.

"Tell me what you want," Jeff says and strokes his hand up the back of Jared's thigh, settling it on Jared's ass. Jared pushes back into the touch immediately, moaning softly when Jeff squeezes his cheek.

"I—" Jared starts, fingers twisting in Jeff's shirt. "God, I want you to fuck me. Please?"

"Yeah? Are you sure?" Jeff asks.

"Yes. _Yes_. If you want to," Jared breathes. 

Jeff grins at him, all dirty and pleased. "Fuck, baby, of course I do. I grabbed some lube at the store the other day."

"Seriously?" Jared gives a small laugh.

"What?" Jeff shoots back and leans in, nuzzling Jared's throat playfully.

"You're a horn dog," Jared says, but it's kind of sweet that Jeff did this. They were bound to progress from handjobs to more eventually, and Jared is glad they'll have some lube for that. He's done it without a couple of times, knows he can take it and doesn't mind a bit of pain, but it requires a lot of prep and a lot of spit and more patience than most guys seem to have.

"Well, pretty hard not to be a horn dog around a pretty guy like you," Jeff says slyly and nips at the side of Jared's throat before leaning up and kissing him softly. "Have you done this before, sweetheart?" 

Jared snorts. "Yes." 

"Hey, you're young. It's a fair question." 

"Yeah, well, sorry to burst your bubble, old man—someone already popped my cherry a while ago," Jared teases. "So you won't be the first guy to fuck me." 

"Like I care," Jeff replies and presses a series of kisses to Jared's mouth before drawing back with a smirk. "Gonna make you forget all about those other guys, baby."

Instead of replying, Jared puts a hand on Jeff's cheek and closes the inch or two between them to kiss Jeff. He has absolutely no doubt that Jeff will make good on those words and that he won't even have to try very hard to succeed.

Though Jared is the one who started the kiss, he lets Jeff take control and Jeff keeps it slow, kisses Jared deeply until they're both left breathless.

Both of their hands roam as their mouths slide together and soon they're fumbling with their clothes, tugging off item after item until they're both down to their underwear. Jeff rolls Jared over onto his back then and slides between his legs, settling down on top of him. He kisses Jared while rolling his hips down against Jared's and letting their clothed, hard cocks drag against each other.

"Yes," Jared hisses against his mouth and rocks his hips up.

"So pretty," Jeff murmurs, trailing kisses down the side of Jared's neck. Jared tips his head to the side. He rests his hands on Jeff's back, feels the smooth, warm skin there and the way the muscles flex whenever Jeff shifts. He moans softly when Jeff's lips find his collarbone.

Jeff moves down lower to Jared's chest, licks and sucks at his nipples until Jared is squirming and then kisses a path down his sternum. His hands stroke down Jared's side and he grips him high around his hips. 

"Jared," he murmurs against Jared's belly, the vibrations of his voice tickling against Jared's skin, and dips his tongue into Jared's belly button.

"Fuck," Jared hisses quietly and tries to rock his hips up despite the way Jeff has him pinned.

Jeff sits back then, smiling at him. In the light of the fire, his skin looks a warm gold and Jared stares up at him. The bulge in Jeff's boxer-briefs looks almost obscene, the black fabric stretching over his hard dick, and Jared can't wait to have him fully naked. He doubts he could ever get tired of looking at Jeff. 

He reaches for him, lets his hand trail up his stomach, fingers scratching through the dark hair all the way up to his chest. He brushes his fingers over the tattoo there, tracing lines of ink, before he settles his palm over it and looks up at Jeff through his lashes.

"Please," he murmurs quietly.

Jeff covers Jared's hand with his, squeezes it before tugging it up to his mouth, kissing the pads of Jared's fingers with a smile.

"Let me get the lube, baby," he says. He leans down, brushes a kiss over Jared's cheek, and then crawls over him to get to his backpack. He rummages around for a while and Jared shifts impatiently, sliding his hand down his stomach to his cock. He palms himself, biting down on his lower lip at how good it feels, how hard he is. 

"Let me," Jeff says, dropping the lube by Jared's hip before moving back between Jared's legs. His hands curve around the top of Jared's thighs, coaxing them farther apart. Jared's hand falls away and Jeff ducks down, nosing at the skin just above the waistband of Jared's boxer-briefs and brushing kisses over the bulge of Jared's erection.

"Fuck. _Fuck_ ," Jared mutters, pleasure tingling low in his belly at the soft touch.

Jeff kisses the outline of Jared's dick once, twice more, and hooks his fingers under the elastic. Jared lifts his hips, lets Jeff slide the thin material down and hisses when his cock is exposed. Jeff sits back, stripping Jared's underwear all the way off and tossing it aside. He grips Jared's right ankle in his hand, brings Jared's leg up and presses his lips to the spot above his fingers. He moves higher, trails a line of kisses up the inside of Jared's calf to his knee and then presses almost reverent kisses to the inside of Jared's thighs. Jared feels like he's being worshipped, and each kiss and touch makes his arousal spike, his pulse race.

Jeff scoots down, lies down almost flat between Jared's legs and his hands curl around Jared's legs, pushing them up. His damp breath fans over Jared's balls, making Jared groan quietly. Then Jeff suddenly moves down lower, nose brushing against skin, and swipes his tongue over Jared's hole. Jared feels every muscle in his body lock up and he moans brokenly.

"Has anyone ever done this for you, sweetheart?" Jeff asks.

"N—no," Jared says, curling his hands into fists, unsure what to do with them.

"Hmm. Idiots," Jeff says, sounding amused, and moves back in again, runs his tongue over Jared's entrance, hot and sloppy wet.

"Jesus," Jared mumbles. He feels like he's coming apart at the seams, each touch of Jeff's tongue making pleasure burn through his veins. He lets Jeff push his further legs up, exposing him more, and when Jeff pushes the tip of his tongue inside of him he cries out. He wants to touch himself, slide his thumb through the mess of precome gathering at the tip of his cock and smearing over his stomach, but more than that he wants Jeff to do it. To be the one to make Jared come, to decide what they do.

Jeff switches back and forth between little, wet licks and working his tongue into Jared, until Jared feels like he's dripping with his saliva, grinding his hips mindlessly down against Jeff's face, wanting his mouth, his tongue. His balls feel tight, the sparks of pleasure that Jeff elicits white hot, and he's so damn close just from Jeff's mouth.

It's when Jeff lets go of one of his legs and slides a finger back behind Jared's balls, swiping it through the spit before sinking it into Jared alongside his tongue that it becomes too much. The slight burn of Jeff's finger and the hot, slippery feel of his tongue is too much, and Jared comes with a long moan.

Jeff works him through it, fingers him and keeps licking into him, as Jared trembles through the aftershocks.

It's not until his moans turn slightly pained, the continued stimulation too much, that Jeff stops eating him out, pulling his finger out. He moves up Jared's body, lying down by his side and pulling him close. His hard cock presses against Jared's hip. He nuzzles Jared's cheek, then kisses him, smoothing a hand down Jared's side.

"You okay?"

Jared huffs out a laugh, the sound catching in his throat. "Don't think I've ever come untouched," he says, his voice slurred.

Jeff hums and manages to even make that sound smug and goddamn if he doesn't have every right to.

Jared turns into him, angling his face up until Jeff leans in and kisses him. "Thought you were gonna fuck me though."

"Who says I'm done with you yet? I figured at your age you'd have at least two rounds in you."

"Yes," Jared says, a bit too eagerly. "Whatever you want." 

"Whatever I want?" Jeff echoes, sounding both amused and turned on.

Jared knows that's a slippery slope and it's an offer he should never make to anyone, but Jeff—Jeff is different. And maybe it's the orgasm making Jared's mind a bit fuzzy, but he _trusts_ Jeff. He feels absolutely safe with him, for the first time in his life.

He nods and Jeff's expression gets softer. He slips his fingers into Jared's hair, cards it back, and kisses Jared softly, carefully. "Just wanna make you feel good, baby. Better than you ever have," he murmurs.

"Already do," Jared replies quietly, giving Jeff a small smile, and thinks Jeff can't possibly know just how true those words are. How much he's giving Jared.

Jeff breathes out, kisses him again, and then nudges Jared around onto his stomach with a quiet, "Roll over for me, baby."

He picks up the lube and flips it open with his thumb. Jared cranes his head back and Jeff leans down and kisses him despite the awkward angle. Jared feels a bit of cold lube drip onto his waist and he laughs against Jeff's mouth. It turns into a moan when a few moments later slick fingers press between his cheeks and Jeff pushes two right back into Jared again.

Jared breaks the kiss with a wet sound. 

"Too much?" Jeff nuzzles his cheek, pressing small kisses along the skin.

"No," Jared gasps and cants his hips back, forcing Jeff in deeper. His beard is a little prickly against Jared's freshly shaven, sensitive skin and the thought of Jeff giving him beard burn, leaving a mark behind at least for a couple of hours, sends a thrill through Jared.

"God baby," Jeff murmurs, almost awed, and moves his fingers in and out a few times, gently at first, testing, before crooking them inside of Jared. Jared groans, putting one hand flat onto the ground and splaying his legs wider so he can work his hips back more easily, fuck himself on Jeff's fingers. His cock is starting to get hard again, arousal crashing through him as Jeff rubs his fingers against his prostate.

"You're so amazing, baby," Jeff whispers, and Jared feels the pressure of another finger against his hole.

"Please," he mumbles. "Do it, Jeff. Wanna feel you inside me so bad."

Jeff hums, shushes him gently as he presses the third finger in as well. Jared can really feel the stretch now, Jeff's fingers thick and sinking deep into him. Jeff kisses the curve of his shoulder, his neck, and continues to work him open until Jared is all but begging him for more.

The empty feeling when Jeff pulls out makes his stomach clench, but then Jeff shifts behind him, settling between his legs and nudging Jared's thighs wider apart. Jared feels the blunt pressure of his cock against his entrance. 

"Baby," Jeff says softly and starts pushing forward. The initial intrusion hurts a little, and Jared takes a shuddering breath as he adjusts to Jeff's size. It's not a bad feeling, the burn the stretch, and he revels in the feeling of being filled.

Jeff goes slow, slides in inch by inch with small rolls of his hips, until his hips are flush against Jared's ass. His hands settle on either side of Jared's head.

"Tell me if I can move," Jeff says, nuzzling the spot behind Jared's ear.

Jared nods, too impatient to give himself more time to adjust. His cock is almost fully hard again, trapped between his stomach and the sleeping bag. "Yeah. Move. 's okay. Feels good, Jeff."

Jeff sighs, ducks his face into the crook of Jared's neck, and pulls out a few inches before sinking back in. They both moan and Jeff repeats the motion, fucks slow and deep into Jared until it becomes easy, his cock sliding in and out without resistance. His cock hits Jared's prostate with each thrust, sending hot white sparks through Jared, and Jared starts pushing back eagerly.

He sits back then, pulls Jared up onto his knees, and fucks him harder. 

He moves his hand around Jared, wrapping it around Jared's cock, stroking him in rhythm with the movement of his hips. Jared arches into it, moans and gasps spilling from his mouth.

"Hmm, yeah, let me hear you, sweetheart," Jeff says, words broken up by soft gasps. "Fuck, you feel good. You're so fucking tight, baby."

"Jeff," Jared whines, and Jeff's next thrust makes his cock slide against his prostate perfectly. He clenches around Jeff, eliciting a deep grunt from him, Jeff's hips stuttering before he finds his rhythm again, rutting into Jared until he comes with a gasp of Jared's name.

His hand falters, and Jared bites his lip, putting his hand over Jeff's. Jeff groans softly and they start stroking Jared together, Jeff still buried deep. It doesn't take long and Jared comes a second time, spilling over both of their hands. 

Jeff collapses against his back and carefully rolls them onto their sides, his still hard cock remaining buried in Jared. They lie like this, Jared's back to Jeff's chest, Jeff's arm holding him tight, until their breathing slows down again. Jeff brushes a final kiss against Jared's nape before pulling out, and Jared hates this part. He twists around, presses himself as close to Jeff as he can and Jeff wraps him up in his arms, tucks him close.

"You good?" Jeff rasps, running his fingers through Jared's hair.

"So good," Jared slurs. "You?"

Jeff laughs shortly. "Fucking fantastic, baby."

*

The weather is stable, sunny but not scorching hot and they make good progress over the next week. Jared isn't sure how to feel about that. He wants to be happy for Jeff, but part of him dreads getting to Texas. He really likes Jeff, likes being with him and he likes not being alone. He knows their arrangement is temporary, that Jeff has Jensen waiting for him, but he isn't ready to split up. He wants to enjoy it as long as possible before he lets Jeff go. Before he will be alone again.

But it gets harder with every day spent in Jeff's company, with every night he spends tangled up with Jeff. There's a part of him that almost wishes Jeff would say or do something that would piss Jared off, just so it'd be easier for him when they part. But it's exactly the opposite—the better he gets to know Jeff, the more he likes him, and Jeff doesn't get any less attentive, doesn't stop looking out for Jared's needs. He just keeps being the same sweet, kind guy, day after day, mile after mile.

*

It's Jared's own fault, getting too close to the edge of the slope they're walking on. It rained a little the night before and the ground is still wet and slippery in places. It happens quickly, the ground under him suddenly giving away and Jared slips, feels himself falling with a startled cry.

His hands manage to grab the edge, fingers digging into earth while Jeff calls out his name frantically.

It happens in the span of seconds, but the moments Jared dangles off the slope, before Jeff's hands curl around his wrists, feel like they drag on forever.

"Don't let go, baby. Hold on," Jeff says, his tone panicked, looking down at Jared with wide eyes. He must be flat on his stomach and he's gripping Jared so tightly it almost hurts.

"Jeff," Jared manages, feeling paralyzed with fear. "Oh, fuck. Please don't let go. Jeff, please."

"I've got you. Okay? We're gonna get you back up here and it's gonna be fine," Jeff says, his voice calmer. Soothing. "Just stay calm. I'm not letting you go, Jared."

Jared swallows, nods.

"On the count of three I'm going to pull you up. Can you push yourself up?"

"I can try," Jared mumbles.

"Okay. Good. That's good," Jeff murmurs to him. "It'll be fine, baby, okay? If it doesn't work, you're gonna have to get rid of your backpack to lose some of the weight, but we're gonna get you back up here." 

"Okay," Jared says. 

Jeff nods, holding his gaze. "One," he starts and Jared tries to find some sort of leverage against the cliff under his feet. His ankle hurts, but he grits his teeth and nods at Jeff again. "Two. Three."

Jared pushes himself up with as much strength as he can, making a choked sound when pain shoots up in his ankle. Jeff pulls hard, and they manage to get Jared up to his chest, his hands scrambling for purchase.

"Okay. Okay, good," Jeff pants. "Baby, I'm gonna let go of you now and you gotta hold on tight, okay?" 

"Okay," Jared echoes, and there's a moment of panic when Jeff lets go, but then Jeff grabs him under the arms and pulls again and Jared scrambles, pushes himself up and over the edge, Jeff dragging him along. Jared's knees scrape over the dirt but he doesn't care about the pain, crawling forward as soon as there's enough solid ground under him.

"Jesus," Jeff grunts, his grip not getting any looser. He helps Jared up and Jared makes a pained noise as he tries to stand on his hurt foot. 

"Let's get further away from the edge," Jeff says. He slides his arm under Jared's shoulder, holding him up and helping him walk. The pain in his ankle is pretty bad and Jared hisses, but he keeps going.

"Just a little further," Jeff encourages, and Jared nods shakily. He sighs with relief when Jeff finally stops them and helps him sink down. They both take their backpacks off and then Jeff kneels down in front of him.

"Left?" he asks, and Jared nods.

"Yeah," he says. "I think I twisted it when I fell."

Jeff nods and reaches for his foot. He's careful as he starts unlacing Jared's boot. It still hurts, but Jared grits his teeth together and stays silent as Jeff takes the boot off and peels Jared's sock off. His touch is gentle as he prods and moves Jared's foot, and Jared tries to breathe through the pain.

"I don't think it's broken," Jeff says. "Probably a sprain, but hopefully nothing too bad."

"But I can't walk on it," Jared says, his heart plummeting. Jeff has somewhere to get to and Jared thought they had some time left, at least a few days together. He's not ready to say goodbye, but if he's honest with himself, even a few days to prepare himself for that wouldn't change anything.

But this is too sudden. 

"Not for a few days, at least," Jeff confirms. "I'll wrap it up for you and then you'll have to give it plenty of rest. Are you hurting anywhere else?"

Jared shrugs, a lump in his throat. "My knees are probably a bit scraped, but that's it," he says dejectedly.

"Hey, it's okay," Jeff murmurs. "It's not even that bad. How about we take those jeans off so they don't start sticking to the wounds?" 

Jared nods and Jeff looks at him, exhaling loudly, his expression crumbling a little.

"Fuck, baby, you scared me," he admits. He moves to kneel by Jared's side, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him against him, pressing a kiss to his temple and then his mouth. 

"I'm okay," Jared murmurs, and Jeff just kisses him again, holding Jared even tighter.

*

"You can leave, you know," Jared says when Jeff has patched him up, his ankle wrapped and the scrapes on his knees cleaned out. He tries to make his voice sound confident, like he doesn't care, but he's pretty sure the moment Jeff is out of sight he'll curl up and cry. His heart feels too heavy and his stomach is all twisted up.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Jeff asks incredulously, looking up from his backpack where he's putting the first aid supplies away.

"I'm not gonna be able to walk for a few days, you said so yourself," Jared says.

"So?" 

"So. You have somewhere to get to," Jared reminds him and looks down at his lap, trying not to sound bitter. Jeff was always honest with him and Jared always knew where he was at. Knew one day they'd part ways again and Jeff would go off to find Jensen.

Jeff comes to kneel at his side, knee pressing into Jared's hip. "Look at me, baby."

Jared turns his head towards Jeff but looks at the trees over Jeff's shoulder. Jeff cups his face, turns him further towards him.

"If you think I'm leaving you here on your own, you're not as smart as I thought you were." He doesn't sound angry, but there's a steeliness to his tone and tension around his eyes. Like, for once, it takes some effort for him to be so unwaveringly calm and composed. 

"But—" Jared starts, but Jeff silences him with a thumb over his lips.

"No buts." 

"What about Jensen?" Jared mumbles against Jeff's finger.

"What about him?" Jeff asks and slides his finger to the corner of Jared's mouth, pressing against it gently.

"Jeff," Jared says and sighs. "Seriously. You can go. I know you wanna get to Dallas."

"I do. I wish I could snap my fingers and be there, but I'm not going to leave you behind because of that," Jeff says firmly. "We've been making pretty good progress, sweetheart. We can take a couple of days to rest." 

"Jeff," Jared repeats.

"What?" 

"I don't wanna slow you down, okay?" Jared says and averts his eyes. "We're gonna split up sooner or later anyway."

Jeff huffs, sliding one of his hands from Jared's cheek to his nape, giving it a squeeze. "We are? Because I don't remember having a conversation about this with you and coming to that decision, sweetheart." 

Jared snorts. "What? You want me to come meet Jensen with you and then… then what?" The last couple words are spoken more softly, all of the bite gone. He wants to stay with Jeff, wants it so much it hurts, but he can't see how it would work. 

Jeff sighs and shifts, sitting down and crossing his legs, his hands dropping. "I don't know, Jay. But you're not just some fun I'm having on the road before I dump you to be with Jensen. I don't want us to split up." 

"How would that work? Jensen…" Jared trails off with a shrug, not sure what to say. Jeff has insisted they're not a couple and Jared believes him, but he knows they're also not just friends. There's so much history with Jensen, and Jeff loves him. And just because they weren't together when things went south, doesn't mean they can't be in the future. 

"Jensen and I aren't dating," Jeff says, echoing Jared's thoughts. "He's my family. My best friend." 

"You're more than friends." 

"Yeah, okay, maybe we are. I love him, we both know I do and I'm not gonna play you for a fool and lie about that. But that doesn't mean I can't have feelings for you. Because I _do_. And I don't want to give you up. I'm not _going_ to give you up, okay?" Jeff insists. "Jesus, Jared. Do you know how much you mean to me?"

Jared shrugs. There's a part of him that wants to prod, wants Jeff to tell him, spell it out, but he's also terrified of the answer, regardless of what it would be. "Okay, so say we stay together. How's that going to work?" he asks instead.

"I don't know. I wish I could tell you, but I don't know how this will play out," Jeff admits and then takes Jared's hand in his. "Sweetheart, do you want us to go our separate ways?" 

"No," Jared says quietly.

"Then come with me," Jeff murmurs. "Please. Don't just give up on us."

"I don't want to get in between you and Jensen," Jared says, and it makes his chest ache to realize this is as much about him trying to protect himself as it is about him wanting Jeff to be happy. He doesn't want to mess things up for him and if removing himself from the situation will make things easier for Jeff, he'll do it. 

"You won't," Jeff says. "I'm not gonna lie and say I don't have feelings for him, but there's a reason we never worked out. You and me? We're working, Jay." 

"What about him? Jeff, he might not want me there," Jared points out and meets Jeff's gaze. 

Jeff sighs and shrugs. "Look, I know the guy better than myself. You don't have to worry about him, okay? Just… please. Come with me, meet him. Let's see if we can make this work," he says, his eyes pleading. "Please?"

The last word is spoken quietly, and it tugs at Jared's heart. He nods, giving in. "Okay."

"Okay?" Jeff echoes and Jared nods again, smiling a little.

"Oh, thank fuck," Jeff mutters and wraps his arms around Jared, pulling him in for a kiss. 

Jared isn't sure it'll work out, but he can't say no—Jeff is the first person he feels comfortable with in a long time, the first one to make him feel this wanted and cared for. Something Jared had started to think he'd never have in his life. He's not ready to give that up, and if he has to share Jeff with someone, or live with the fact that Jeff is also a little in love with someone else, he can do that if it's what Jeff wants. 

*

Jeff arranges them carefully that night, making sure Jared's ankle is resting comfortably on top of a balled up hoodie. He keeps his touch and the kisses they share gentle, chaste, and when Jared tries to push for more, he shakes his head.

"Not until you're better," he says.

"But—" Jared starts, but Jeff silences him with another soft kiss.

"We can go without sex for a couple of days, sweetheart," he murmurs, tone amused. 

Jared huffs but gives in quickly because his ankle is still throbbing and the events of the day have left him more exhausted than usual. He snuggles against Jeff and falls asleep listening to the steady sound of his breathing.

*

It takes a few days before Jared's ankle starts feeling better and he can walk without there being much more than a small twinge. They're running low on supplies, having lived on what they had and what Jeff could scrounge up in the area, and Jared knows they're going to have to get moving again, at least far enough to find a place to get food. Jeff is a little worried still, keeping a close eye on Jared as they walk. He keeps the pace slow, reaching out to steady Jared whenever the path gets a little uneven. An hour in, he suggests they take a break, and even though Jared rolls his eyes at him, he humors him.

There are a lot more breaks that follow, and Jeff checks Jared's ankle a couple of times, begrudgingly satisfied when it hasn't started swelling up again. 

"Told you I'm fine," Jared says.

Jeff shoots him a look. "Yeah, well, I'm the ex-paramedic, so leave that to me to decide."

"Right," Jared says with a grin. "So, Dr. Jeff, will I survive?"

"You're a brat," Jeff says with fake displeasure. 

"Is that your professional opinion?" Jared teases.

"My professional opinion is that you should take it easy and let me call the shots," Jeff says. 

"Or maybe that's just because you like calling the shots," Jared murmurs, and Jeff gives him a heated look that makes Jared's blood rush south. 

Jeff grins at him knowingly.

"I'll show you just how much once we've found somewhere to set up camp, baby."

*

They cross over into Texas a few days later. 

Jared knows it won't be long now before they reach Dallas and he feels more and more nervous the further they walk. Despite what Jeff said, Jared knows he might be on his own again soon if Jensen doesn't want him around. Because he's pretty damn sure if it came down to it, Jeff would choose Jensen and Jared would walk away before Jeff even had to make the choice anyway. 

But just the thought of losing Jeff makes Jared's stomach knot up. He wishes he could not worry about it and just enjoy being with Jeff. Wishes he could pretend Dallas was still far away, something he doesn't have to worry about yet. 

It makes him feel needier. He presses up close to Jeff whenever he can, seeks out his touch, his kisses, and he's all over him whenever they settle down, pushing for sex at every opportunity. Like he's trying to get his fill now while he still can, get as much of Jeff as possible so he can have those memories when they split up.

If Jeff notices, he doesn't say anything. He doesn't ever turn Jared away; he fulfills all of Jared's pleas and needy demands, soothing but never quite banishing the worry that gnaws at Jared's stomach.

*

They avoid the actual city, taking a detour, staying on dusty farm roads, walking through fields and passing by abandoned farm houses. 

"Jensen's grandparents had a farm and some land out here. There was an old barn at the outskirts of their property that they didn't really use. It was full of old crap that nobody had used in ages," Jeff tells Jared as they walk. He hasn't looked at his compass in a while, obviously knowing the area here, so Jared guesses they must be close now. "Jensen and I used to meet up there in secret."

He's been talking more about Jensen in the past couple of days and Jared guesses being here is bringing back memories. He tries not to let his jealousy show, lets Jeff talk and listens, knowing how much this means to him. How much Jensen means to him.

"Why not at one of your places or a motel?" he asks.

Jeff snorts. "Jensen didn't have his own place. And he was worried someone who knew him or his family would see him. He wasn't out back then." 

Jared frowns. "How old was he?" 

"Nineteen. I was twenty-five. He was a freshman at a college here in Dallas and he and his friends used to sneak into this bar where I was working. That's how we met." 

Jared ducks his head, grinning a little despite the fact that he feels a flare of envy. "Sounds like the start of a romance novel," he mocks.

Jeff laughs. "Kinda, yeah. Older guy who works at a bar and a good Texas college boy…" he says, shaking his head. "I was in Dallas for about three years and we kept seeing each other on and off." 

"Were you _ever_ officially a couple? Back when you first starting hanging out?" Jared asks, and he tries to sound casual. Like talking about Jeff and Jensen isn't a big deal. Because if things miraculously work out the way Jeff seems to hope they will, he'll have to get used to this. To there being someone else in Jeff's life. 

"Nah. We hung out, we had sex, but we never labeled it and we were never exclusive," Jeff says, jostling Jared with his shoulder. "More like friends with benefits. Best friends, eventually. But even once we were buddies and people knew we were hanging out, we still sometimes came out here to the barn to hook-up." 

Jared snorts. "Yeah, because it sounds so much better than in an apartment with a real bed." 

Jeff chuckles and shrugs. "I don't know what it was. Maybe because this is where we started out. I guess the place was special to us." 

He says the last part softly, his voice quiet and fond. There's something about the way he talks about that time of his life, the way he talks about Jensen, that hurts and yet makes Jared _want_ Jeff and Jensen to reunite, because Jeff clearly loves the guy so much. And Jared hopes Jensen will be there at the barn, even if it'll make his life a lot more complicated. Even if Jared will end up broken-hearted, at least Jeff won't.

It's something they haven't really talked about since Jared brought it up the first time that Jensen might not be there. He doesn't know what'll happen if Jensen isn't there. Jared doubts Jeff would handle it well. 

Jared moves closer to Jeff's side, sliding his hand into Jeff's, and Jeff gives him a squeeze. 

"You'll like Jensen, you'll see," Jeff promises. 


	2. Chapter 2

They round a cluster of trees and a big barn comes into view, the wooden boards weathered and gray, a little attachment at the side caved in. Jeff squeezes Jared's hand tightly before letting go and Jared feels the tension coming off him. He looks worried, scared, and Jared suddenly realizes that his optimism and calm wasn't all real. Of course it wasn't—Jeff isn't stupid and he must have considered the fact that maybe Jensen won't be there, that he didn't make it. It's been weeks since they talked and Jeff started his journey south. 

"Come on," Jared murmurs, trying to keep his tone light. 

Jeff nods. 

When they get a little closer, Jared thinks he sees movement in one of the small windows, and Jeff must have seen it too because his step falters and then he exhales loudly. Jared's free hand curls around the butt of his gun, but he doesn't draw. 

"Jen," Jeff murmurs when a figure appears in the open door, a shotgun held up and pointing at them.

"Sure it's him?" Jared asks, and Jeff lets out a snort, sounding close to tears.

"Hell yeah," Jeff says, and as they get a little closer, the shotgun is lowered and placed on a barrel by the door and the guy comes out to meet them.

Jared isn't quite sure what he expected Jensen to look like—maybe kinda like a slightly younger version of Jeff, though mostly he's just been a faceless name. As he gets closer he understands why Jeff is so hung-up on the guy—if Jensen is even half as good a person as Jeff claims he is, then with a face like that there probably isn't a person in the world who has met him and not fallen for the guy. He's pretty damn gorgeous. He's got a beard that's not quite as scruffy as Jeff's and he's tall and broad-shouldered, and somehow the fact that he looks worn-out, weary, just makes him look tougher, more appealing. 

Jared stays back, watches as both Jeff and Jensen's steps get quicker. They all but crash into each other, arms going around each other, and they hug so tightly Jared doubts either of them can breathe. They stay like that for a while, faces tucked into each other's necks, Jensen's arm curled tightly around Jeff's neck and the other pressing awkwardly against his backpack. 

"Jesus Christ, Jeff," Jensen says, his voice rough and deep. 

Jeff says something in reply Jared can't make out, his voice soft, thin. 

Jared feels awkward watching them, like he's witnessing a moment between two people that isn't for him to see, but he's not sure where else to look, what to do. He curls his hands around the straps of his backpack, his shoulders aching and his feet feeling heavy, the Texas sun beating down on them with no shade making him sweat.

"Fuck," Jeff says when he and Jensen finally break apart after what feels like endless minutes to Jared. He touches Jensen's face, curls his palm around his cheek, and Jensen lets out a laugh that's more pained than humorous.

Jeff glances back at Jared then, wetness smeared around his eyes, but he's smiling, wide and genuine. He waves Jared closer with one hand, the other arm remaining wrapped around Jensen, who is now looking at Jared too. 

"C'mere, Jay," he says. "Come meet Jensen."

Jared steps closer. "Hi," he mumbles, ducking his head a little, his stomach twisting with so many emotions. He feels like an intruder and part of him just wants to turn and run. He knew Jeff loves Jensen, but seeing them together makes it so much more real, and worry and jealousy claw at Jared while he steels himself for rejection. He might have been a fun little distraction on the road, but how could Jeff want him when he can have Jensen? Just looking at him makes Jared feel too gangly, too young. 

"Hey," Jensen replies, and he looks at Jared knowingly. Like he knows exactly what's been going on, and for some reason it makes Jared's cheeks heat up.

"I met Jared on the road a few weeks ago and we've been sticking together since," Jeff says.

"He saved my ass from a few creepers," Jared says, shifting on his feet awkwardly. He feels the need to downplay things, to explain, just in case Jeff has changed his mind about them already.

Jensen gives him a little grin and looks him up and down once, not at all subtly. "I bet he did," he says teasingly, but it doesn't sound mean, and then looks at Jeff, shaking his head in amusement. "Only you, Jeff." 

"What?" Jeff prompts.

"The world's fallen to pieces and we're living in a post-apocalyptic fuck-fest straight out of some stupid Hollywood movie, and you manage to find a guy along the way," Jensen teases.

Jeff gives a sly little grin. "It's a gift," he says, and Jensen laughs.

"A gift, sure."

Jeff just hums and Jensen rolls his eyes at him.

"Come on, let's go inside. It's hot as balls out here," he says and then gives Jared a smile that's a little softer. "It's good to meet you, Jared."

Jared nods, relaxing a little, and tries to return Jensen's smile as genuinely as he can.

Of all the things he imagined, it's not this. This amused acceptance, when the love between Jeff and Jensen is so palpable. It's confusing, but it eases the tension in Jared a little.

*

It's cooler in the barn and taking off the backpack and stripping down to a t-shirt feels incredible. Jensen must have been squatting at the place for a while now, judging by the assortment of things he has stored in a corner of the barn. There's food and clothes and a rifle propped up against the wall. There's a mattress on the ground too, with a sleeping bag laid out on top. 

Jensen offers them both some water as they settle down. Jared sits down across from Jeff and Jensen—despite the small frown Jeff gives him—not quite sure yet of his place, how he fits into this.

"There's a stream running across the property," Jensen explains. "You guys can go clean off later if you want to."

"You've been here since we talked on the phone?" Jeff asks.

Jensen nods. "Pretty much," he says. 

"Your family…" Jeff trails off and Jensen shakes his head. "I'm sorry, Jensen."

"Most of them died from the virus pretty early on. Maybe they got lucky, not having to live through this shitshow," he says, his expression guarded, but even Jared can hear the pain in his voice and he doesn't even know the guy. 

Jeff nods. "Maybe, yeah," he agrees.

"I didn't really think you'd get here," Jensen admits, more quietly.

"Told you I would," Jeff replies and they look at each other, smiling a little, before Jensen clears his throat and glances at Jared. 

"So what's it like out there?" he asks. "I haven't been anywhere but Dallas."

Jeff shrugs. "Same shit everywhere. Mostly a whole lot of nothing left, except for creepers everywhere and some survivors. We've been sticking to more rural areas, trying to avoid both."

"Probably smart," Jensen says. 

"You've been hoarding," Jeff says, nodding at the tins and packaged food Jensen has stacked up against the wall.

Jensen snorts. "Figured I'd need enough for two if you got here," he says and then cuts a glance at Jared. "Good thing too, since it's now three."

Jared bristles, but before he can say anything Jensen smiles at him. "I'm happy to share. With both of you," he says pointedly. 

Jeff smiles, raising an eyebrow at Jared as if to say, _"See, told you he's a good guy."_

"So, what? We stay here?" Jared asks softly. "Not that it's a bad place, just… that food won't last forever." 

"I know places where we can get more," Jensen says. "But I don't actually think we should stay. I'm sure you guys could use a few days of rest, but we should probably head further north eventually."

"Why?" Jeff asks with a small frown.

"It's like a fucking swamp here, Jeff. The humidity, the heat coupled with some pretty bad storms with heavy rain—I mean, that's been going on for a while now, but with all the death and decay, it's been the perfect breeding ground for all kinds of diseases the past few months," Jensen says. "I haven't been to the city much, but it's not just creepers killing survivors out here. We probably have a better chance making it somewhere where it'll be a little cooler."

Jeff groans and rolls his shoulders. "So, I came all the way down here just to go back up north?"

"I didn't force you to come here," Jensen teases and knocks his shoulder against Jeff's. "Only place in the world we both know well enough to find each other without working GPS."

Jeff gives him a gentle smile, even while rolling his eyes. "So, back on the road it is."

"At least it'll give us something to do," Jared pipes up and then looks at Jensen. "If I'm invited." 

"Of course you are," Jensen says, and Jeff looks at both of them smugly.

*

Jensen not so subtly suggests Jeff should go fill up a few bottles of water as the sun starts setting, and Jared feels another flare of nerves, being alone with Jensen. Jeff doesn't look worried, just gathers their almost empty bottles and presses a kiss to Jared's temple before he leaves.

"Relax," Jensen says once Jeff has trudged out of the barn.

Jared nods, but his shoulders remain tense. "I'll leave if you want me to," he says quietly. "I don't want to get between you two." 

Jensen gives him a dirty grin and it makes him look younger, some of the weariness vanishing. "I'm sure Jeff would actually love it if you did," he jokes, and Jared flushes at the thought, the idea not exactly unsettling him. He has eyes after all, and he can't deny how damn hot Jensen is.

"Sorry. Out of line, huh?" Jensen adds. 

Jared shrugs, his cheeks still feeling hot. "I don't know. You're probably right," he says, and Jensen laughs.

"Yeah," he says. "Jared, I'm not sure what Jeff told you about us, but I'm not mad that he met you and brought you here with him. The thing with me and Jeff—well, at the end of the day we decided to be friends and he's free to be with whoever he wants to be with. And that's quite clearly you. So you don't have to worry about me, okay? I'm not a threat to what you and Jeff have. I'd never try to mess things up with him." 

Jared swallows and looks down at his hands. "He loves you."

"I know. I love him, too, but I didn't think he'd come here and we'd live happily ever after together. That never worked for us," Jensen says, and when Jared looks back up Jensen is smiling. "Look, I'm not saying this isn't a little weird, but Jeff's never been conventional, so I can't even say this surprises me. He's always been the kind of guy to go after what he wants and not let people dictate what he should and shouldn't be doing. I'm not sure how he thinks this will pan out, but if he thinks this will work out it probably will." 

"I just… I don't wanna cause problems," Jared admits. 

"Neither do I," Jensen says. "Obviously, he wants both of us around. And I'd say right now we have a lot more important things to worry about than fighting over a guy. The way I see it, there's strength in numbers as long as you can trust each other. I trust Jeff with my life, and he trusts you. So I hope we can trust each other as well." 

"Yeah. Yeah, we can," Jared says honestly, because he trusts Jeff completely and that means he trusts Jensen too. Jensen smiles and then holds out his hand.

"Shake on it?"

Jared huffs a small laugh and shakes Jensen's hand. 

*

"You sure that's a good idea?" Jared murmurs when Jeff puts his sleeping bag down next to Jared's that night.

"We always sleep next to each other, sweetheart." 

"Jeff," Jared starts hesitantly and glances at Jensen, who isn't looking at them. 

"Jensen? You mind if Jared and I sleep next to each other?" Jeff asks.

Jensen, who is sitting on his mattress untying his shoes, looks up and frowns. He doesn't look _happy_ , but he doesn't look upset either. "You two are together, so I kind of expected you to," he says. "Don't worry about it on my account, okay?"

"See?" Jeff says and then kneels down to unzip his sleeping bag and connect it to Jared's. 

Jared sighs but doesn't keep arguing. He gets ready and lies down next to Jeff, letting him curl up behind him and pull him against his chest. 

Jensen extinguishes the small oil lamp he has next to his bed, and in the darkness Jeff leans over Jared, kissing his jaw. "Good night, sweetheart."

*

Jared wakes up alone the next morning, and he has a little moment of panic when he can't feel Jeff next to him before the fog of sleepiness lifts and he remembers where he is.

Jeff has left the zipper of the sleeping bag undone, and when Jared sits up the fabric pools around his lap. He rubs his eyes, wiping the grittiness there away, and looks around. Jensen's mattress is empty as well, sleeping bag folded messily at the bottom, and the barn doors are cracked open, letting more light filter in.

It's too warm and Jared feels sticky and gross with sweat.

Sighing, he pushes the sleeping bag further off his legs and gets up, stretching his arms with a yawn and cracking his back. He pushes his feet into his boots, not bothering to tie them, and heads for the doors. He figures Jeff and Jensen must be outside and he remembers the stream Jensen mentioned. He never got around to cleaning up last night and he feels grimy and gross right now, more so than usual with the sweat drying on his skin.

As he approaches the doors, he hears the murmur of voices and he slows down automatically. Through the half-open doors he spies Jeff and Jensen standing face to face outside. He can see part of Jensen's face but not Jeff's, and they're standing close together but not quite touching. Both their hair and the collars of their shirts are wet, water droplets clinging to the skin of Jeff's neck.

Jared takes another step, careful to remain out of sight. He doesn't want to eavesdrop, knows he shouldn't, but the sound of his own name makes him halt.

"...sweet," Jared hears Jensen say.

Jeff lets out a soft laugh. "Yeah. He is. He's quite something, Jen," he says, his voice gruff and low. "Never would have thought, you know."

"Nah, I always knew this would happen," Jensen replies. "For a while, back in the day, I figured it'd be you and me."

"Yeah, I did too," Jeff says, and Jared's stomach twists a little.

Jensen snorts. "God, I was so naive back then. Don't know what the hell you saw in me."

Jared watches Jeff shrug. "You were painfully beautiful, darlin'," he drawls and then laughs. "Also stubborn and always rushing head first into things, and a fucking control freak. Kinda reminded me of myself."

"So you wanted to fuck yourself?" Jensen teases, and Jared can see his lips quirk up into a grin.

"Eh, who doesn't?" Jeff replies.

"He's nothing like you," Jensen says, voice softer, and Jared knows Jensen's talking about him. Holding his breath, he waits for Jeff's answer.

"Not really, no, except for the stubbornness," Jeff agrees. "Think maybe that's why we work."

"Yeah, you seem to," Jensen says, and Jared lets out a breath, something inside of him loosening up a little.

"Fuck, Jensen," Jeff grunts. "I feel the need to apologize and I don't even know what the hell for. Do I?"

"No, not a damn thing you need to be sorry for. We're good," Jensen says, and Jeff nods.

"So."

"So. This is it, huh?" Jensen asks with a small chuckle.

Jeff sighs loudly enough for Jared to hear and then he leans in and kisses Jensen. It's soft and short; it's a good-bye and when Jeff pulls back Jared can see the sad smile on Jensen's face. The kiss makes Jared feel a small flare of jealousy in his gut anyway, but there's something else too. A feeling he can't quite put his finger on.

Quietly he takes a few steps back.

*

Three days later, they pack up their things and cram as much of Jensen's food into their backpacks as they can and then they hit the road again.

"Weird to be leaving?" Jeff asks, and Jensen shrugs.

"It's not like this is still the place I knew," he says, sounding wistful. 

Jared's glad it's not, though he doesn't tell Jeff and Jensen. For the most part, he's been able to ignore the fact that he's back in Texas. When he left for college, he thought he'd never come back here and he'd been happy about it. There are way too many bad memories attached to his childhood and by default Texas. 

"You okay, Jay?" Jeff asks, falling into step next to him.

"Hmm?" 

"You've been quiet," Jeff says softly.

Jared gives him a smile that feels a little weak. "Just lost in thought, I guess." 

"I forgot you're from Texas, too. Tough to leave?" Jeff guesses.

Jared snorts, because leaving Texas isn't any harder this time than it was the first time. "No," he says a little brusquely, and Jeff raises his eyebrows but doesn't prod.

*

"Are you making an arrow?" Jared asks. They're sitting by the fire in a clearing where they set up for the night. Jeff's cleaning up in the almost dried up creek nearby, and Jensen has pulled his pocket knife out and is chipping away at a stick. 

Jensen looks up and smiles. "Yeah. Figured some fresh meat might be nice." 

"Won't you need a bow for that too?" Jared teases. "Or are you just gonna toss that arrow at anything that moves?"

"I got some string and all I need is the right kind of branch and I can make one," Jensen says, looking amused.

"And that'll work?" Jared asks. 

Jensen nods, smiling a little. "It's not perfect, but if I get a decent enough shot in, yeah," he says.

"You know a lot about that kinda stuff?" Jared asks and scoots closer, watching Jensen work. "Jeff and I don't know shit."

Jensen grins. "I spent a lot of time on my grandparents' ranch and my grandfather was really into hunting and stuff. I tagged along quite a lot," he explains. "And we went camping a lot together with my brother and dad."

"I never went camping." 

"Never? What kind of Texan are you?" Jensen asks playfully.

"The gay kind," Jared snarks and Jensen laughs. "Can I help? I have a knife." 

"Sure," Jensen says. "You and Jeff haven't hunted at all?" 

"We've been living off what we could find in towns and farms and stuff," Jared says. 

Jensen nods. "Yeah, not sure Jeff would be any good at this. He has many qualities, but he was never one for roughing it," he says with a smirk. "And I suppose for now there's still enough food around." 

"Yeah, we've been getting by okay," Jared says. "But fresh meat sounds pretty damn amazing." "Well, then, youngin', let me teach you," Jensen says with fake gravitas, and grins.

*

Jared regrets helping Jensen a little the next day, as he watches Jensen skin a hare. They've followed the creek, which had gotten a little wider as the day went on, and found a place to camp early in the afternoon.

The blood makes Jared's stomach roll. He can't look away, but he's pretty sure he's going to puke any second now. He's seen all kinds of shit, but somehow this almost hit him more than watching creepers attack a human. To his relief, Jeff doesn't look totally unaffected either.

Eventually Jensen huffs, looking more amused than anything. "Why don't you two go get the fire started," he suggests.

"Good idea," Jeff says and gets up, holding his hand out to Jared. They've set up for the night just a few feet away in a small clearing, hidden by some trees and bushes. 

"He's pretty good at this stuff," Jared notes as they pick up a few twigs and branches around the camp.

"He's pretty good at most stuff he tries his hand at. Kinda annoying," Jeff says fondly, and Jared smiles. 

"Well, at least we know he's gonna be able to keep us alive when we run out of food." 

"Is it bad that I'm glad there was a mass epidemic, so at least there's been enough food to find until now?" Jeff asks, and Jared snorts.

"Probably," he admits. "But you're less selfish than any of the other people I've met since this whole thing started, so you get a pass."

"So I'm not the worst person in the world? I'll take it." "Might even be one of the best," Jared says and grins playfully. "Jury's still out on that though." 

"Baby," Jeff murmurs, and he stops what he's doing, moves closer to Jared. He wraps his hand around Jared's wrist, giving him a small tug to pull him close. Jared drops the twigs and falls into Jeff, sighing when Jeff's mouth finds his. 

Jared grabs Jeff by the shoulders, curling his hands in the fabric of his shirt. When he feels Jeff's tongue brush against his lips, he parts them readily, want curling in his belly. They haven't done much of anything in a few days. Things between the three of them have been almost too easy and Jared is terrified of fucking it up, even if Jensen seems to be okay with him and Jeff. But having Jeff pressed against him, being wrapped up in his arms at night, has been as frustrating as it has been nice, because Jared wants Jeff all the damn time. They've snuck in a few kisses and gropes here and there when they get a moment for themselves, but Jeff has been good about not pushing things further with Jensen around and Jared is about ready to burst.

He still pushes Jeff away gently when Jeff's hands slide down to his ass, palming the cheeks and giving them a squeeze. 

"Jensen…" Jared starts, but Jeff shushes him with another kiss, quick and soft.

"We've got some time," he says and then raises one eyebrow and nods at the line of trees to their left. "How about we sneak away for a couple of minutes? It'll be fine, I promise. And I'll go crazy if I don't get to touch you soon." 

Jared bites his lower lip, but then he nods. "Okay," he says, and Jeff gives him a pleased grin, stepping back and grabbing Jared's hand before all but dragging him towards where he nodded.

Jared ends up pressed against a tree, the trunk wide enough to shield them. Jeff pins him, kissing him hungrily and he's got Jared's pants undone within moments, sliding his hand down his underwear. His grip is firm and Jared whines into his mouth when Jeff starts stroking him. 

"Shhh," Jeff murmurs and pulls his hand back out. He frees Jared's cock and then spits into his hand before going back to stroking him.

"Oh god," Jared moans and Jeff silences the next moan with his mouth again, jerking him off hard and fast, his touch feeling so good it doesn't take long before Jared can feel his orgasm build. He groans against Jeff's mouth, digging his fingers so hard into Jeff's arms he's going to leave bruises. Jeff breaks the kiss and Jared tips his head back and groans loudly. 

Jeff shifts, moving to the side a little. "Come for me, sweetheart," he murmurs, giving Jared a couple more strokes and Jared bites his lip to silence the cry he wants to make as he comes. He spills some onto Jeff's hand, but most of it ends up on the ground thanks to Jeff.

"Fuck," Jared hisses, whimpering as Jeff keeps moving his hand, working Jared through it. He collapses against the tree, his knees feeling like jelly, and Jeff leans more heavily into him, kissing him softly.

"You're so damn gorgeous," he murmurs, and Jared huffs, knows he'd be blushing if his face wasn't already so flushed from exertion. 

"Let me," he says, eyes falling to the bulge in Jeff's pants. He maneuvers them around so Jeff is pressed against the tree and then sinks down onto his knees, careful to avoid the mess he's made. 

*

When they get back to camp, Jensen is already there, getting the fire ready. He doesn't comment, doesn't send them any looks, but Jared's stomach still churns with guilt. They didn't go far and they probably made enough noise that Jensen heard them and even if he didn't, their flushed, disheveled appearance is more than telling. 

"Sorry, Jensen," he says, and Jensen gives him a small, patient smile.

"Hey, don't worry about it."

"No," Jared says, shaking his head and goes to join Jensen. "We didn't even start the fire. We… shit, I'm sorry." 

"Jay is right, Jensen," Jeff chimes in. "Let Jared get the fire started and I'll take care of dinner. You've already done more than enough."

Jared nods, and doesn't say anything else even though he wants to. Wants to apologize for having sex with Jeff while Jensen made sure they had dinner. Wants to apologize for having sex with Jeff, period, because no matter what they've all said about it, it doesn't feel quite right.

*

"I think maybe you two need a little more time alone," Jensen says after dinner, as the three of them sit around the fire.

The words make Jared's stomach plummet, because for a second he thinks Jensen wants to split up. And as much as Jared wanted to keep Jeff to himself a couple of weeks ago, before they got to Dallas, he suddenly can't imagine not having Jensen around, either. 

"Jensen," Jeff says calmly. "We said we're sorry about earlier." "I told you guys I'm not mad. I'm really not," Jensen replies and sighs. "I get it. For the past two weeks it's been the three of us, almost twenty-four seven." "Well, the circumstances are kind of special. You can't exactly go to another room or go out," Jeff snarks. "Not that I want you to. It's the three of us. Together."

"Yeah," Jared confirms. 

Jensen smiles at them, a little sadly, and shakes his head. "It's sweet of you guys to say, but come on. If I were in your shoes, I'd want some alone time too. There's nothing wrong with that," he argues. "In fact, I think it's a good idea. I can make myself scarce every now and then." "And go where?" Jeff asks.

"I can go for a walk. I don't know," Jensen says, shrugging.

"It's safer if we stay together," Jared argues quietly. "Something could happen to you." "Jared. I'm a big boy." Jensen grins a little. "I've been taking care of myself for a while. You guys don't need to worry about me." "Well, we do," Jeff says.

Jensen stretches his legs a little, looking at both of them. "What are you guys going to do, forbid me to leave?" he asks. "Hell, maybe I need some alone time too."

"Jen," Jeff starts, and when Jensen gives him a pointed look, he sighs. "Okay. Fine." 

Jared rolls his lower lip between his teeth, chewing on it, and he doesn't try to continue to argue. Jensen has obviously made up his mind. But the thought of Jensen walking around on his own doesn't sit right with him.

*

A couple of days later, Jared stares at the spot between the trees where Jensen vanished a few minutes ago, and he flinches a little when Jeff's hand settles on his nape.

"Sorry," Jeff murmurs, and Jared sighs and turns towards him, rubbing his jaw against Jeff's arm.

"'s okay. I was just lost in thought." "He'll be okay," Jeff says, and Jared groans.

"Yeah, I know," he agrees and meets Jeff's eyes. "I don't like this." "Me neither," Jeff admits. "But he thinks he needs to do this and once he's made up his mind about something, it's almost impossible to change it. Stubborn bastard."

Jared scoots a little closer, Jeff's hand sliding from his neck to around his shoulder as Jared leans into him. "We could follow him." "If you want him to be pissed at us."

"So, then what?" Jared asks.

Jeff angles his head down and brushes a kiss against Jared's lips. "We wait for the idiot to come back," he says and then comes back for a second kiss.

Jared can admit that he missed this. Missed being this close to Jeff, touching and kissing. Jeff's mouth moves slowly against his and they both shift to get a better angle, to press closer together. Warmth spreads in Jared's belly, but it's more contentment than arousal.

They make out for a little while, until Jared's lips feel puffy and his heart rate has picked up a little, but they don't take things further. Instead, they eventually part, sharing a few more chaste kisses before Jeff suggests they play a round of cards while they wait for Jensen to get back.

They're still playing by the time Jensen finally returns, and he looks at them with knitted eyebrows and scoffs. "Seriously?" he asks, and Jared feels all of his worry dissipate.

"Come play with us," he says with a grin, handing Jeff his deck of cards so he can reshuffle them and deal all three of them new cards.

*

Jensen is the first one to round the corner of the building, and when he stops, holding his arm out to hold Jared and Jeff back, they all come to a halt. Jensen moves slowly as he takes a few steps back.

"Creepers or humans?" Jeff whispers, hand on his gun already.

"Creepers," Jensen says. "A bunch of them. They didn't notice us yet."

"I've been itching to shoot some," Jeff muses, and Jared's surprised by how hard Jensen's stare gets.

"We're not going to draw attention to ourselves because you have some pent-up energy to get rid of. We're getting out of here," he says firmly, his voice low.

Jeff looks like he's ready to argue, but then his shoulders drop and he runs a hand over his face.

"Shit, yeah, you're right."

"Let's go," Jensen says, and he reaches for Jared, giving his elbow a little nudge. "As quietly as we can."

Jared nods.

They're in a town and the creepers are blocking the road they took on their way in. Their backpacks are heavy with food they found in the grocery store a few blocks away, and they head back towards it now. They're silent, on high alert, as they pick their way through the streets trying to find another way out of the town. It takes them longer and they hit dead ends a couple of times, but Jared breathes a sigh of relief when they finally reach the last few houses of the town.

"They were eating," Jensen breaks the silence between them. "I only got a quick look at it, but I'm pretty damn sure they were eating another creeper." 

"We've seen that happen a couple of times," Jeff says, nodding.

"Me too. Not until recently though," Jensen says, sounding thoughtful. 

Jared adjusts his backpack, a lot heavier now than it was earlier that day. "You think they're turning on each other?" he guesses.

Jensen hums. "Could be," he says. "They aren't hunters. Their only advantage was that there were a lot of them and we'd already been decimated by the virus. If we'd been more in numbers, we would have been able to fight them. But now there aren't many people left and those who are have mostly left the cities. They must be running pretty low on food sources."

"But why not attack each other before? I doubt they have a sense of loyalty," Jeff says. "I doubt they have a sense of anything."

Jensen shrugs. "I wouldn't call it loyalty, but there's a certain pack dynamic there. Probably because one creeper on its own is pretty useless against a person with a weapon," he says. "They're like animals, hunting in packs. And at the end of the day, they're rotting corpses even if they're not dead. I doubt they're a good source of nourishment, even for other creepers, so they're probably not their first pick as a food source. Hell, for all we know their bodies might still react to eating rotten flesh the way ours would. But they're not fast enough to hunt animals, and the humans that are left are heavily armed and out of reach."

"So… they might just take care of each other?" Jared asks hopefully.

Jensen sighs. "It's just a thought," he says. "But maybe? If we can outlive them. And we're much more resourceful, so there's a good chance we would."

"It's a nice thought, at least, that one day this will be over," Jeff says softly, and Jared nods. 

"I mean, the world would still be fucked up. We'd have to start from scratch," Jensen says. "But it's better than not having anything to hope for, right?" 

"Yeah," Jared says and Jeff hums in agreement. 

*

They put a good amount of distance between them and the town that afternoon before finding a small barn in the middle of nowhere to stay the night. It looks like it was abandoned long before the virus, the walls covered with graffiti, and there are some cans, empty bottles and cigarette stumps on the ground. They eat cold string beans and ravioli from tins that evening.

"Sorry I was so short with you earlier," Jensen says halfway through their dinner, glancing at Jeff.

Jeff looks sheepish. "You were trying to keep us safe, man, it's fine. You know I do stupid shit sometimes." 

"Only sometimes?" Jensen says playfully, and Jeff gives him a little shove.

"Yes, asshole," Jeff grouses. "Jay, help me out here. I'm a responsible guy."

"When you're not thinking with your dick or, apparently, feeling a little trigger happy, sure," Jared says, and almost regrets it immediately until Jensen laughs.

"So never?" 

Jared grins at him, his cheeks a little hot. "Pretty much," he agrees.

"Are you ganging up on me now?"

"Not how you pictured this going, huh?" Jensen teases, and Jeff gives him a look that Jared guesses is supposed to be dirty, but it's not. Not entirely. Jeff's eyes linger a moment too long and there's some heat there, beneath the mock glare. And maybe Jared is reading too much into it, but his heart still speeds up a little, thinking about the ideas Jeff might have entertained. Wonders if he ever pictured something happening between all three of them, like Jensen joked that first day they met. 

It's just a fleeting thought, but Jared feels it like a punch in his stomach.

Then Jeff clears his throat and looks away and the moment passes.

*

It's like a seed that took root inside Jared and now that it's there, he can't stop it from growing. He thinks maybe it was there right from the start, when he first saw Jeff kiss Jensen, but he didn't think about what it was he felt in that moment. 

And it's not just because Jensen is incredibly good-looking; Jared knows Jensen better now, genuinely likes him, and the more he thinks about it, the more he realizes he might be a little attracted to Jensen. There's something about his calm, quiet way of taking charge that excites Jared and at the same time the way Jensen takes care of him and Jeff, the way he's been nothing but sweet and accepting of Jared, that makes him feel comfortable and safe. 

But there's Jeff to consider. 

Jeff, who Jared likes more than he's ever liked another person, who makes him feel good and safe and loved. Jeff, who Jared loves, even if it's too soon. And it makes Jared feel greedy, wanting someone else when he already has Jeff, who is already more than he deserves, more than he ever thought he'd have.

*

"Heat before the storm?" Jeff muses, looking up at the clear blue sky. It's earlier in the day than when they usually try to find shelter, but the sun is beating down relentlessly and the air feels thick and heavy with it. They've been following a small river for the past couple of hours and finally decided they all had enough, finding a few trees to give them shade before one of them would get heatstroke.

"Might be," Jensen says. "It's still clear, but that can change." 

He strips off his t-shirt as he talks and then bends down and rolls up his jeans before wading, barefoot, into the water. Jared looks away, tries very hard not to sneak glances at all the exposed skin, and focuses on getting his own shoes off and jeans rolled up. 

Around them there's nothing but fields and meadows, flat open land that allows them to see far and wide, giving them the security of knowing they're definitely alone out here. So they've left their backpacks, weapons and jackets by the handful of trees they're going to set up their camp under, and headed the few feet down to the bank of the river together.

Jared sighs when he dips his left foot into the shallow water and then takes a full step forward. The water is cool, feeling nice on his feet which always seem to be sore from walking these days.

"This is nice, huh?" Jeff asks, joining him. He hasn't bothered rolling up his jeans and they're getting soaked at the bottom as he stands next to Jared, who can't help but grin at him.

"Yeah," he agrees and wiggles his toes underwater, feeling the sand and small pebbles between his toes.

He glances at Jensen then, a few feet further down the river. He's bent over, splashing water at his chest and arms, before briskly rubbing at his skin. Heat settles into Jared's stomach and he realizes he's been staring for a little too long, so he quickly looks away again, his cheeks growing hot.

*

The sky is looking overcast the next morning, the air feeling heavier with moisture. They're lucky that day and don't get any rain, and while the night feels a bit chillier, it stays dry. The following day, the rain hits them around midday and they take shelter for a while to wait out the worst of it before they keep going, damp clothes sticking to their skin. It gets windier too, the blazing heat from a couple of days like a distant memory, and Jared is happy to have the extra layers of his hoodie and jacket now.

A couple of times he notices Jeff looking at him and when he finally catches him, their eyes meeting, he gives him a quizzical look. "What?" he asks.

"What?" Jeff shoots back, giving him a little grin. "I can't look at you?" 

"Of course you can," Jared says.

"Because you're pretty damn nice to look at," Jeff adds, his voice deliberately low.

Jared squirms a little, glancing at Jensen, who is a couple of feet ahead of them. 

"Stop," he mutters, but he's smiling. 

*

They find shelter beneath a small bridge that night. There isn't much around to make a fire and the few branches they find are too damp to try. 

"You should sleep with us tonight, Jensen," Jeff says, as the daylight starts to fade and they're finishing their dinner of, once again, cold canned food. "It'll be warmer." 

Jared looks up at the words, looking at Jensen—who looks unsure—and then Jeff.

"It's fine. It's not that bad," Jensen says.

"I'm sure Jared won't mind," Jeff continues and then meets Jared's gaze, his look soft. "Right, Jay?"

Jared clears his throat and then shakes his head. "No, of course not," he says, and feels a flash of guilt over just how much he doesn't mind.

Jensen doesn't look quite convinced, but he finally nods after a moment. "Alright. If you guys are sure."

They settle down for the night, and Jensen insists Jared should be the one in the middle. Jared assumes he means well, probably thinks Jared might get upset if he spends the night cuddled up against Jeff, but Jared isn't sure how he's ever going to get any sleep like this, chest to chest with Jeff and the warmth of Jensen's body against his back. Jensen's barely touching him, obviously trying to keep some distance between them, and Jared feels torn between appreciating it and wanting to feel him against him.

He buries his face in Jeff's collarbone, breathes in the familiar scent, and feels like a greedy asshole for suddenly wanting more than this.

*

Jared wakes up sandwiched between Jeff and Jensen, who has obviously moved closer during the night, curled up against Jared's back so there's not an inch between them anywhere. Both Jeff and Jensen have an arm thrown over his waist, trapping him, and Jared squirms a little. His cock is half-hard and his insides are a confusing mess of too many emotions.

"Jay," Jeff mutters and when Jared looks at him, he finds Jeff looking back, eyes half-lidded. "Stop moving around. Sleep." 

"I gotta pee," Jared replies quietly, and it's not entirely a lie. He does, though it's nothing he can't hold for a while longer.

Jeff makes a tired noise and leans in to brush a kiss over Jared's forehead, but then he shifts back, helps untangle them so Jared can slip out of the sleeping bag. It wakes Jensen up, of course, and just before Jared frees himself, he meets his sleepy, green eyes, before he gets out and quickly hurries away.

*

They're packing their stuff when Jensen comes over to where Jared is kneeling by his backpack, rolling up his sleeping bag. He crouches down, smoothes the air out of the sleeping bag and folds the edges in, making it easier to for Jared to roll it tightly.

"Thanks," Jared mutters.

Jensen sighs. "Jared. I'm sorry."

"What for?" Jared asks and frowns, glancing up at Jensen.

"We. Uh. We were pretty close this morning. I'm sorry I crowded you like that in my sleep," Jensen says. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." 

"You were asleep," Jared points out.

"Still."

"It's fine," Jared says and feels his cheeks grow warm again. He ducks his head. "Really. Promise."

"You sure?"

Jared licks his lips and looks at Jensen. "I'm sure. It was nothing."

He wishes it was true. Wishes it was nothing, that there weren't _feelings_ starting to brew inside of Jared. 

"Okay," Jensen says and gives him a small smile. He pats Jared's shoulder and then gets up. Jared watches him leave for a moment and then his gaze shifts to Jeff, who is watching him, his expression thoughtful.

*

"You like him," Jeff says. 

Jared startles, looking up at Jeff, who is standing a few feet away, grinning at him. "I was peeing," Jared hisses and quickly does up his pants. "Why the hell would you follow me?" 

Jeff smirks. "Nothing I haven't seen before," he says. "And I wanted to talk to you." 

"Jesus," Jared mutters and focuses on doing up the button and then his belt. Jeff doesn't seem angry, but Jared still feels worry stir up inside of him, sharp and fast. He doesn't even pretend he doesn't know what Jeff is talking about.

"Sweetheart, look at me," Jeff murmurs, and Jared shakes his head.

Jeff moves in closer, curling his hands over Jared's before Jared can finish pushing the end of his belt through the loops. Jared grits his teeth and ducks his head down even lower, his eyes starting to burn suspiciously.

"Jared, please look at me. Hey, sweetheart, why are you getting upset?" Jeff murmurs.

"Because," Jared huffs and sniffs.

Jeff lets go of him with one hand, only to tuck his fingers under Jared's chin and nudge his face up. "Baby," Jeff says, his voice soft and his expression fond. "It's not a bad thing. You like Jensen, right?" 

"You don't care?" Jared asks quietly. 

"That'd make me a bit of a hypocrite, wouldn't it?" Jeff replies lightly, giving him a small grin. Jared exhales loudly. 

"I wasn't sure…" he trails off. There's an irrational part of him that had been scared Jeff would be mad, even though Jeff has no room to talk. 

"I don't mind one bit," Jeff stresses. "Unless you two plan on running away and leaving me behind." 

Jared snorts and shifts closer, leaning into the warmth of Jeff's body. "Never," he says. 

Jeff brushes a kiss against the exposed side of Jared's throat, his beard tickling against Jared's skin and making him squirm. "Think maybe we should talk to him about this, hmm?" 

Jared lifts his head a little. "Jeff, I don't know," he murmurs. "He's probably not interested. In you, yes. But probably not in me, I mean."

Jeff snorts. "He is," he says. "I know him and I know his type. And I have eyes, too—it's pretty damn obvious that he's interested." 

"You sure?" Jared asks, hope blooming in his chest. 

Jeff winds his arms around him, pulling him in close. "Yeah," he says. "I don't want to pressure you, though, sweetheart. Whatever you want, okay? It's okay if you're not sure you want this, if it's just something you like to think about but don't want to happen."

Jared swallows, his heart thudding in his chest, and nods. "I want," he admits softly, and Jeff grins widely at him.

"Yeah?"

Jared nods, rolling his lower lip between his teeth as his mouth stretches into a smile. "Yeah. I really do."

*

Jensen is sitting on top of his sleeping bag, rolled out on the other side of the fire across from Jared and Jeff's. He gives them a small, soft smile, looking a little tired, and Jared's pretty sure his heart is beating three times as fast as usual. Like now that Jeff knows, now that he doesn't have to push those feelings down, his body goes crazy just because Jensen is there, looking soft and amazing. 

"You guys can just tell me to go take a walk if you want some alone time," Jensen says. "You don't have to sneak around." 

"We were just having a little conversation," Jeff says. He puts his hand on the small of Jared's back, warm and comforting.

"Yeah," Jared nods, his mouth dry.

"Jen," Jeff says, and the way he says Jensen's name is already so pointed, his voice all deep and smooth. Jared feels himself tense, trying to prepare himself and at the same time he's freaking out internally because Jeff is going to tell Jensen what they talked about. He's not going to wait, not going to slowly let them work their way up to it.

"Hmm?" 

Jeff licks his lips. "You wanna put your sleeping bag next to ours and join us?"

Jared tries to stifle a groan, because that's not how he wanted them to bring this up. At the same time, he should have expected it from Jeff.

Jensen looks back and forth between them, quirking an eyebrow. "It's not very cold tonight," he says, his tone loaded.

"No," Jeff agrees, smiling a little.

Jensen meets Jared's eyes, holding his gaze. Jared tries not to fidget, wondering what is going through Jensen's head. It feels like a test and Jared isn't sure if he's supposed to say or do anything, so he just holds Jensen's gaze and feels himself blush, his chest squeezing with hope. Jensen smiles softly.

"Okay," he says. "Yeah, I'd like that."

*

There's a moment of awkwardness when Jensen gets up, the three of them looking at each other. Then Jensen huffs and Jeff grins and closes the distance between them. Jared watches, his heart thudding loudly in his chest, as Jeff curls his hand in Jensen's hoodie and they lean in, their lips meeting. It's almost chaste at first, but then the kiss gets deeper. They're beautiful together and Jared almost feels regret when Jeff breaks the kiss and tosses a smile at him, beckoning him over.

Jensen turns to him when Jared is close, raises his eyebrows and gives him a small smile. "Yeah?" he asks.

"Please," Jared replies, and Jensen's smile gets a little wider before he leans in. He cups Jared's face with both hands. He brushes their lips together, softly, and goes in for second kiss, drawing this one out, coaxing Jared's lips apart. Jared is already starting to get hard, excitement pumping through him.

"Fuck," Jeff murmurs when they part, and when Jared looks at him his eyes are so full of raw want, Jared bites his lower lip. 

"Let's lie down," Jeff suggests, and both Jared and Jensen nod. 

Their sleeping bags aren't unrolled yet, and they unzip both, spreading them out on top of each other. Jared's stomach is fluttering with anticipation, even more than it did with Jeff the first time, because this is different, this is something he's never done. He watches with rapt attention as Jeff draws Jensen into another kiss, but it's Jensen who takes control, who guides them down onto the sleeping bag. It's not until now, seeing them together like this, that Jared fully realizes how deep things run between them, how seamlessly they fit together and how intense their chemistry is. But there's no room for jealousy in Jared, only a strong yearning to be a part of that. To have Jensen kiss him like he's kissing Jeff, to want him the same way as well.

It's Jensen who pulls away this time, shifting away from Jeff and patting the empty space between them. 

"Come here, Jared," he says. 

The thought of being between Jeff and Jensen makes liquid heat settle in Jared's stomach and he doesn't have to be told twice, crawling between them immediately. There's barely enough space for him to fit, and the moment Jared has settled down, Jeff presses even closer and leans in.

Jared moans before Jeff's mouth is even on his, and he eagerly parts his lips and hitches his leg over Jeff's. The way their cocks rub together makes him whimper and Jensen scoots closer behind him, too, then, molds himself to Jared, his body firm and warm. Jared feels lips on his neck, Jensen trailing kisses down his skin and palming the back of Jared's thigh, just under his butt, dragging his hand all the way to the back of his knee. Jeff's hand settles on his waist, fingers slipping under his hoodie and brushing over bare skin. He rocks forward, and Jared feels the hard bulge of his cock against his, just before he feels Jensen grind against him as well, hips perfectly aligned with Jared's butt. 

Jeff breaks the kiss, panting against Jared's mouth and resting his forehead against Jared's as he starts to roll their hips together in earnest.

Jared isn't really sure what to do, which warm body to lean into, almost overwhelmed by the different sensations. Being caged in between Jeff and Jensen, having their hands roam over his body, makes his head spin with want and he doesn't think he's ever been this turned on in his life. 

"Fuck," Jeff hisses, and he sounds just as ragged as Jared feels, and Jensen moans in reply, the sound muffled against Jared's skin. They keep moving together in a tangle of limbs, mouths and hands touching and kissing, and it reminds Jared a little of his first fumbled attempts at sex as a teenager, except a million times better. More intense than anything he's ever experienced, even with Jeff. 

"Can I?" Jensen murmurs, worming his hand between Jared and Jeff, fingers brushing over the button of Jared's jeans.

"Y—yeah," Jared says, eyes locking with Jeff, who nods. 

Jensen presses a kiss behind his ear and undoes his jeans, sliding his hand in. He palms Jared over his underwear, rubbing him, and Jared moans, the touch sending sparks through him. He's so hard, so far gone, it doesn't take much more before he feels his orgasm build and he comes with a small cry. 

"Baby," Jeff murmurs and cups his face, kissing him roughly. He ruts against Jared, with Jensen's hand in-between, and Jensen is still moving against him too. Jensen's mouth is close to Jared's ear, his breath heavy and damp, and Jared feels him shudder against him just as Jeff comes with a quiet groan.

*

They're still tangled up together when Jared wakes up the next morning.

Jeff's awake, looking sleepy with his eyes still half-closed and his lips are curled into a little smile. It's too warm with the three of them under the sleeping bag they've spread out over them like a blanket, and Jared really needs to pee, but he still wishes he'd never have to move.

"Morning, beautiful," Jeff murmurs.

"Morning," Jared replies in a whisper and leans into it when Jeff kisses him softly.

"Happy?"

Jared hums, nods. "You?"

"Fuck, baby. I don't think I could be happier," Jeff says and gives Jared a small, soft smile. "Last night was pretty damn amazing."

"Yeah, it was," Jared agrees and sighs. "Need to pee, but I don't wanna get up." 

Jeff laughs quietly. He shifts back, making room for Jared to move. He has to untangle himself from Jensen, who makes a displeased sound behind him but finally backs off a little as well.

Jared slips out from under the sleeping bag, stumbling a little as he almost gets caught up in the twisted fabric on the ground. He slips into his boots, leaving them untied as he heads for the trees to relieve himself. 

When he comes back, Jeff and Jensen have moved closer, noses and mouths brushing together. 

Jensen moves his head away from Jeff's when Jared approaches, but stays close, and Jared toes off his boots and crawls back in with them behind Jensen.

"We should probably get up, get going," Jensen says as Jared cuddles up close to him. 

"Couple more hours," Jared cajoles. "I just want to be lazy and doze for a little." 

"Well, not like we have anywhere to be," Jeff interjects. He reaches over Jensen, curling his hand around Jared's neck, fingers slipping into his hair and his thumb tracing over his jaw.

Jensen hums and then flips over onto his back, Jared and Jeff both shifting to accommodate him as he gets comfortable. 

"So," Jensen starts slowly and looks from Jeff to Jared. "I don't wanna be the one to insist that we should talk about this, but… just so we're on the same page about this. Was this just a one-time thing?" 

"No," Jared immediately says, a little too rushed. Looks at Jeff a little hesitantly. "Right?" 

Jeff grins widely. "Right. What he said." 

"Okay," Jensen murmurs and smiles slowly, and under the blanket, he slips his foot between Jared's. "Okay. That's good. Real good." 

*

Jared tips his head back, letting the sun shine onto his face. It feels nice, not as crazy hot as it did just a few weeks ago, and it makes walking more comfortable. His shoulders still ache and his feet hurt when they stop for the night, but it feels less arduous these days. And maybe that's because of Jeff and Jensen.

It feels like something has shifted. Not just because they had sex and it was great, but it feels like all three of them are more comfortable now, more content. Jared's concept of relationships has always boiled down to two people, and for the longest time even that seemed entirely out of reach for him. But there's something about being with Jeff and Jensen that feels right. 

They fit together.

*

Jared watches Jensen wind the line around the long stick, all the way to the top, before tying a knot. "Ta-da," he says with a little smile, tone dry.

"Why not just tie it to the top?" Jared asks.

"If a fish tugs at the line, it could break the stick," Jensen says as he ties a fishing hook that he found in the shed of an abandoned small farm the other day to the end of the line. 

"Huh," Jared says. 

"Wanna try?" Jensen asks. Jared looks at the worms Jensen dug up and swallows.

"I don't know," he says, and Jeff snorts. He's lying on his back, hands behind his head, and Jared kicks his ankle.

"Shut up," he mutters.

"He's not exactly jumping up to do it himself," Jensen points out with a grin.

"Yeah, I'm a wuss," Jeff agrees easily, grinning. "And quite okay with that."

Jensen nudges Jared. "How about I take care of the worm for you and I make myself a second rod? And then we'll catch dinner while Jeff is doing nothing but being a lazy bum." 

"That's why I got myself two hot guys," Jeff says. "So they can take care of me." 

"Maybe we won't share," Jared teases and nods at Jensen. When Jensen picks up one of the worms, which he's put into a small hollow of an old tree trunk, Jared averts his eyes. Jensen casts the line for him too when he's done.

"Now hold this," Jensen says and hands the rod to Jared. "You gotta be still, okay?" 

"Okay," Jared says, though just the thought makes his skin itch a little. He's never really been good at that, always had too much energy. He thinks that's why he likes being on the road—being stuck in one place makes him think too much and walking gives him something to do. But he tries to stay still as best as he can, and it gets easier when Jensen joins him with his own rod, like doing this _with_ Jensen makes it more fun. 

They end up catching three decent sized fish, Jensen with two and Jared with the other one. Jensen takes it off the hook for Jared and kills it too, swiftly and without batting an eye, and even though Jared feels a little queasy, he gets his own pocket knife out and sits down next to Jensen as he starts to gut them.

"Show me how to do this," he says.

"Are you sure?" Jensen asks, and Jared nods.

"Yeah," he says, and the proud little smile Jensen gives him makes the entire thing worth it.

*

Jeff falls asleep on top of his sleeping bag shorty after dinner. He was wide awake when Jared and Jensen woke up that morning, so Jared guesses he didn't get enough sleep the previous night, though he hadn't said a word or complained.

"I think he had a nightmare," Jensen murmurs, looking at Jeff for a moment before glancing at Jared.

"What?"

Jensen shrugs. "He woke me up last night because he was moving around. He said he was fine, but he seemed unsettled. I was barely awake, so I dozed right back off." 

"Oh," Jared says. 

"He just needs a good night of sleep," Jensen says and nudges him before getting up from where he's been perched on a fallen tree. "I'll be right back."

Jared nods, figuring Jensen is going to go take a piss. He looks at the fire that's winding down a little, flames licking up. It's not quite dark yet but getting there and Jared tugs at the sleeves of his hoodie.

When Jensen returns a minute or so later, he's got his hands cupped together.

"Hold your hands out," he says, and Jared does but gives Jensen a dubious look. 

"If that's something that's alive—" he starts, just as Jensen drops a handful of blackberries into his hands. There's a thicket of them nearby and they'd already picked a bunch earlier that day.

"We just had dinner," Jared points out.

Jensen sits down next to him and smiles. "Figured it might help you get rid of the taste of fish a little," he says. "You didn't look like you were enjoying dinner and you've been making faces since and licking your lips."

"Oh," Jared mumbles and ducks his head a little. He picks up a couple of the berries and pops them into his mouth. "I never really liked seafood of any kind." 

"Yeah, I figured," Jensen says.

"Feels like I'm always complaining about food." 

"Jay, you like what you like, you can't help that. And you're not complaining. You ate the fish without a word," Jensen says. "Are the blackberries helping?" 

Jared finishes off the last few in one go. "A little," he says, chewing. "Thank you." 

"Welcome."

Jared shifts a little closer, wiping his hands on his jeans, and turns his head. Their eyes meet briefly, right before Jared leans in and kisses Jensen. It's chaste, simple, and when Jared moves his lips against Jensen's, Jensen stays still. Jared feels something inside of him freeze and he draws back instantly, his heart thudding painfully in his chest. 

"I'm sorry," he blurts out, and he feels mortified and hurt and he didn't even consider that Jensen might not want this if Jeff wasn't involved. The rejection hurts so much his eyes start to well up and he starts to scramble back when Jensen catches him by the arm.

"No, hey. Hey, it's fine. Come back here," he says and he pulls Jared back in, kisses him. For a moment Jared still feels the need to run, to push Jensen away, but then the tension bleeds out of him and he melts into the kiss. Jensen's hands frame his face and he changes the angle, deepens the kiss. 

"Jared," Jensen murmurs, stroking his cheekbone as they part. "Baby." 

The term of endearment makes warmth bloom inside of Jared. It's the first time Jensen has called him by anything but his name, and Jared didn't even realize how much it would mean to him. Jared presses his lips to Jensen's in another kiss and then scoots off the tree trunk, sinking to his knees and shifting to kneel in front of Jensen.

"Jay," Jensen starts, but when Jared nudges his knees apart, he splays his legs. Jared shuffles forward.

"I wanna," he insists. "Please?"

"Yeah. Fuck, yeah," Jensen says, and Jared grins at him before reaching for Jensen's fly. He undoes his jeans and fumbles to tug Jensen's cock out. Even almost soft, it's long and thick, even more so than Jeff's. Jared curls his hand over Jensen's thigh, fingers digging into muscles as he strokes his cock with his other hand, his mouth watering as he feels it fatten up in his grip.

He shifts impatiently, scoots back to lean down. Still stroking Jensen, he licks over the head, moaning softly. He opens his mouth, suckles on the head of Jensen's cock, and Jensen moans loudly, his hips twitching up. Jared own dick is starting to fill, arousal hot in his belly. 

"Jay. Baby," Jensen groans, and Jared moans around him. He tongues the slit, tastes the salty, bitter burst of precome, and then pulls off. Sliding his hand all the way down to the base, Jared holds Jensen steady as he licks a strip up his dick, following the thick vein. Jensen's hand comes up to rest on the back of Jared's head, fingers sliding into his hair, holding him without guiding him. Jared kisses the spot just under the crown. Then he parts his lips around Jensen's cock again and sucks, making Jensen gasp.

Slowly, Jared lowers his head, takes Jensen in deeper, moaning around him. It makes him flush, how much he fucking loves this, but Jensen groans in reply and it spurs Jared on. Hollowing his cheeks, he sucks harder and starts bobbing up and down a few times, his hand still working the base of Jensen's cock.

"Jesus. Jared," Jensen hisses, and this time, Jared lets Jensen sink into him even deeper, doesn't stop until Jensen hits the back of his throat and then keeps going.

"Oh fuck," Jensen keens. 

Jared's eyes water and he pulls back, letting go of Jensen's thigh to undo his jeans. He pulls his cock out and starts stroking himself as he continues to suck Jensen off, listening to the moans and groans spilling from Jensen's mouth, Jensen's fingers twisting in Jared's hair but never pushing or pulling.

He can tell when Jensen is about to come, his body going tense and his moans getting louder, and Jared pulls back so the head of his cock rests on his tongue. Jensen lets out a gasp and spills into his mouth a few moments later, hot and thick spurts of come hitting Jared's tongue and the back of his throat, and Jared swallows around him, milking Jensen through his orgasm as he continues to jerk himself off. Jensen is trembling, cock still hard, when Jared comes as well, moaning around him as pleasure surges through his body.

Jensen slips from his mouth and Jensen slides his hands to his arms, grips him and hauls him up then. 

They nearly lose their balance and topple over, but somehow they manage to stay upright, Jared sprawled in Jensen's lap. Jensen tugs him in, pulling him into a deep kiss.

When they break apart, Jensen is laughing softly, his arms wound tightly around Jared, holding him against him.

"What?" Jared asks, panting.

"You taste like fish and spunk, baby," Jensen says with a grin, but he draws Jared into another kiss anyway.

*

Jeff is already awake when Jared wakes up the next morning. Jensen is spooned up behind Jeff, his arm thrown over Jeff's waist and resting on Jared's side.

Jared yawns and squints sleepily at Jeff, who smiles at him. 

"'ve you been up for a while?" Jared asks, his voice sleepy and words blurring together.

"Just a bit," Jeff murmurs, and Jared nods, hums, and shifts closer to him. He nuzzles Jeff's shoulder then turns his head and kisses his throat.

"Jensen said you didn't sleep well the night before," he mumbles. Behind Jeff, Jensen makes a quiet, sleepy noise, apparently awake but not awake enough to talk yet. Jared huffs out a laugh.

"It was just one of those nights." 

"Should have woken me up," Jared says.

"Nah, there's no use in both of us not getting enough sleep. Or, god forbid, Jensen. It makes him bitchy," Jeff says, and Jensen makes another noise, louder and displeased. 

Jared tips his head back and shares a grin with Jeff. "I'll try to remember that," he says and reaches up, stroking his fingers over Jeff's beard along his jaw. "You slept better tonight?" "Yeah. Sorry for crashing on you guys so early."

"Don't worry, we had fun without you," Jared teases, and Jeff laughs. "I bet you did," he says. He looks at Jared, his eyes all soft and his smile fond, and there's a stretch of silence between them.

"What?" Jared finally mumbles.

"Nothing. Just happy."

"God, you're sappy," Jensen grumbles from behind Jeff, and Jared grins at Jeff.

"I like sappy," he whispers and leans in, kissing Jeff.

*

Jared crosses his ankles, leaning back onto his elbows, looking down at the houses of a small town in the valley spreading out under them. There are some trees providing shade, and behind them the hills stretch up further. There's a bit of a breeze today, wind rustling in the leaves and blowing gently over Jared's heated skin. 

"It's so peaceful here," Jeff notes, his voice quiet. Wistful.

Jared sighs and turns onto his side, shifts until his nose brushes against Jeff's hip. Jeff's hand comes down, fingers sliding into his hair. 

"You would have hated this back in the day," Jensen says with a little laugh. "It was always one thrill after the other with you."

"I think I need details," Jared says in mock seriousness and looks up at Jensen. "Was he wild?" "Oh, he was trouble." Jensen grins. "Had the motorcycle and the tattoos and worked at a bar. He was a parents' worst nightmare."

"And Jensen was such a good boy before he met me, too," Jeff says with a smirk. 

"It's true. You corrupted me," Jensen says. "First time I smoked weed was with you. I skipped classes to sneak around with you. I spent way too many nights hanging out at the bar while you worked." "I don't remember having to talk you into any of those things." "Well, you drove a motorcycle, how was I supposed to resist?" Jensen asks with a smirk. "God, you looked hot on that thing." Jared makes a small noise. "I bet," he murmurs, and Jeff gives his hair a playful tug.

"Guess I mellowed out over the years," he admits. "You two are plenty thrilling for me these days."

Jared hums, his eyes sliding shut as Jeff continues to pet him. He's not exactly tired, but he's full from the lunch they had and the sun is shining and he feels mellow, slowly drifting off to the sound of Jeff and Jensen's voices as they keep talking.

*

They make it down to the town in a couple of hours. It's only a few streets, stretched out down the valley, and there's a small convenience store. They stock up on some food they find there and then head out again. 

It's early, but they've got enough food for several days and they decide to call it quits for the day when they find a small stream further up the hills in the woods. There are trees to give them shade and shelter and they find a clearing where they can set up their camp.

They put their backpacks down and to go fill up their water bottles, the stream just behind a few trees.

Jared splashes some water onto his face, rubbing it down his neck, before he straightens. Jeff and Jensen are both still cleaning up and he picks up his full bottle. "I'll go gather some wood to get a fire going," he suggests. 

"We'll be right with you," Jensen says, and Jared nods before heading back. 

The clearing is small, but it's just enough space for them to spread out. The water bottle clutched in his hand, Jared heads for their backpacks to put it down when he sees movement out of the corner of his eye. He freezes for a second, a wave of fear gripping his insides, his hand going for his gun and pulling it out.

There's a guy, big and gruff looking, stepping out between the trees. He's got a gun raised, pointing right at Jared, his face grim.

"Easy, kid," he says, with a thick accent that makes the words slur together. "Take a step back, let me get what you have in those bags, and maybe I won't hurt you."

Jared raises his gun a little higher, and he tries not to let it show how damn scared he is. His heart is racing though and his hands are trembling.

"Don't make me shoot you, kid. Move out of the way," the guy says.

"No," Jared grits out, because those are _their things_. Their food and clothes and sleeping bags. Their few meagre cooking supplies and medical supplies.

The guy's expression hardens and he shifts, adjusting his angle. Jared pulls the trigger, flinching when his gun actually goes off.

He watches the guy's eyes widen, a punched out sound escaping him, and then he crumbles, falling down to the ground.

"Jared!" It's Jeff, and then Jensen calls out his name as well, and Jared hears their heavy footfalls as they rush through the underbrush, but he doesn't reply, doesn't move, his gun remaining trained on the body on the ground.

It's not until Jeff and Jensen crash into the clearing that he moves, turning his head just a little, watching them as they take in the scene. Both of their guns are drawn as well.

"Baby, it's okay. You can put the gun down," Jensen says, voice deep and soothing, and Jeff steps closer almost cautiously, lowering his gun. Jared mirrors him and then suddenly Jeff is right there, closing the last of the distance between them and roughly pulling him close.

"Jared. Fuck, sweetheart," he mumbles, hugging Jared tight for a long moment before pulling back, holding Jared by the shoulder. "Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

Jared shakes his head mutely and then turns it back to watch Jensen approach the body on the ground. He nudges the guy with his foot, gun trained on him, and then leans down to check his pulse.

"He's dead," he says, and Jared doesn't know whether to feel relieved or to cry. 

"He was going to shoot me," Jared says, the tight, almost shrill tone of his voice unfamiliar in his own ears. "Is he really dead?" 

"Yeah." 

"Fuck. I… he was gonna shoot." 

"Baby, we know. You did the right thing," Jeff says gently. "Are you okay?"

Jared nods. "I've never shot a person before. Just creepers. But not a person," he mumbles. 

Jensen puts his gun back into the holster around his waist and joins them. "Jay, you were acting in self-defense," he says, and touches Jared's cheek. His finger comes away bloody.

"What…" 

"He took a shot, too," Jensen says, nodding at a tree behind Jared. "Didn't hit, thank god. But I guess some of the splinters got you."

"Oh," Jared murmurs, unable to look away from the red staining Jensen's finger. The guy really did shoot him, and Jared suddenly realizes how damn lucky he got.

"Come on. Sit down," Jeff says quietly, gently guiding him down and kneeling in front of him. "I'll clean you up and then we'll get out of here. Okay?"

Jared nods, tipping his head to the side when Jeff nudges him with three fingers against his jaw. Jeff gets the medical supplies from his backpack and Jared watches Jensen start to move, gathering the few things they had already unpacked while Jeff cleans out his wound. He doesn't hiss or flinch, just keeps perfectly still as Jeff treats him, despite the fact that his cheek stings. Jeff kisses his other cheek when he's done, the touch of his lips gentle. 

"All done," he murmurs and then helps Jared up. "Are you okay to keep going? We shouldn't stay here tonight in case there's anyone else around." 

Jared nods. "I'm okay," he says, and Jeff squeezes his hand. He goes to put the first aid stuff away in his backpack and Jensen takes his place, staying so close to Jared's side that their arms brush together.

*

All three of them are tense at first, as they get back on the road. There's a good chance the shots caught someone's attention, so they all try to stay alert. Jared keeps his hand hovering over his gun, and it's not until they've put a bit of distance between them and the body that he breathes a little easier. He still feels shaken, his stomach in knots, but the fear starts to leave him. 

They walk for another couple of hours, until the daylight starts to fade for good. They find a place to settle down then and Jensen works on getting a fire started while Jeff pulls out some food and spreads their sleeping bags on the ground. Jared tries to offer to help, but both of them tell him to sit and relax.

Dinner is canned lentil soup but Jared barely eats anything. Jeff and Jensen keep glancing at him, their worry obvious, but they don't say anything. They clean up in silence but it's not uncomfortable, and they get their usual sleeping place ready.

They settle down with Jared in the middle, and Jared has just started getting comfortable when there's a noise, like a twig breaking, and he flinches.

"Shh, Jay. That was nothing," Jeff reassures him, sliding his hand up Jared's side, then around to settle on his back. Behind Jared, Jensen presses in closer.

Jared exhales, trying to calm his beating heart. He licks his lips. "Just… can you guys make me forget. Please?" he asks.

"Yeah. Yeah, of course, baby," Jensen murmurs, and when he presses a kiss to Jared's nape, Jeff's mouth finds Jared's. He bites at Jared's lower lip, the spark of pain sending the first wisp of arousal through Jared, and then soothes the same spot with his tongue. 

Jared isn't hard yet, but as Jeff coaxes his lips apart and slides his tongue into his mouth and Jensen nuzzles his neck, slowly trailing his hand down Jared's body, he starts to get turned on, the stress of the last few hours falling off his shoulders.

"What do you want, sweetheart?" Jensen murmurs, his hand sliding around Jared and palming him through his jeans.

Jeff backs off a little and Jared pants, rocking against Jensen's palm. "Fuck me," he says, licking his lips. "Please."

"Okay. Let's get you out of those jeans, huh?" Jeff suggests, and Jensen is already undoing the button. They push the sleeping bag down to strip out of their clothes and then settle down in the same position again. They've never done this. Usually it's quick handjobs or messy blowjobs, but they haven't gotten fully naked and they haven't fucked since Jensen got with them. Just having Jensen pressed against him and Jeff in front of them, feeling their naked skin against his, makes excitement swoop through Jared and he moans quietly.

"So pretty," Jensen murmurs, rubbing himself against Jared lazily as he trails kisses along his shoulder. 

Jeff taps two fingers against Jared's mouth and when Jared parts his lips, he slides them inside his mouth. "Get them wet for me, baby," he murmurs, and Jared is already swirling his tongue around the digits, sucking on them lazily and licking the salty taste off Jeff's skin.

When Jeff pulls free and reaches between Jared's legs, Jared hitches his leg up higher. Jeff's fingers slide between his cheeks, rubbing over his hole, and Jared groans. 

"Please," he mumbles, rocking back against the touch. He feels Jensen's cock, hard and thick, poking against the small of his back, and he whimpers, tipping his head forward against Jeff's shoulder. He opens his mouth, kisses the skin there, and the moans slipping out of him as Jeff continues to play with his hole get muffled. Jeff circles his hole, adding pressure, and then dips the tip of one finger in, before pulling back out.

"Jeff," Jared whimpers.

"Relax, sweetheart. We'll get you there, I promise," Jeff murmurs and then he sinks one finger into Jared before he can reply. Jared makes a needy noise, arching his back and pushing his ass back. 

Jensen rubs circles over his side, kisses Jared's nape, his shoulder, the span of his back, as Jeff gets him ready with two fingers, scissoring and curling them inside of him, making heat bloom in Jared's belly. 

"Always so fucking tight," Jeff mumbles, and Jared gasps loudly when he suddenly feels a third finger press against his entrance. He knows it's Jensen's, and it's the first time Jensen is touching him like this. His finger is spit-slick and he works it in slowly next to Jeff's, the stretch making Jared moan and hitch his leg up higher, trying to give them more room to work. With three fingers inside of him, he feels full, and the saliva is enough to ease the way a little, but Jared feels the drag of their fingers. 

They work together, fingering Jared open, sliding in and out, and Jared pushes back into it as much as he can, trapped between two hard bodies. Each time they brush against his prostate, a spark of pleasure shots through Jared, and he's slurring needy pleas and moans against Jeff's neck. 

"You ready, baby?" Jeff asks, and Jared nods eagerly. He feels the fingers slip out of him and he bites at Jeff's collarbone, his stomach twisting at the loss.

"Jeff," Jensen says, his voice strained.

"We've got lube," Jeff says, and Jensen laughs breathlessly.

"Good. Fuck," he replies, and Jeff chuckles. 

"Yeah," he agrees and then adds in a lower pitch, "You wanna fuck him, Jen?"

Jensen makes a deep noise and Jared wants that; wants to know what it's like to have Jensen inside of him fucking him. He tips his head back against Jensen's shoulder.

"Please, Jensen," he mumbles breathlessly, reaching back for him, touching his hip.

"Yeah. Yeah, of course, baby," Jensen murmurs. 

Jeff pulls back, slips out from under the sleeping bag, and Jared shifts and twists his head back, sighing when Jensen's mouth catches his in a kiss. He rocks against Jared, his cock sliding against the small of his back and smearing dampness there, and he winds his arm around Jared, tracing fingers over his stomach and up to his chest. He rubs over Jared's nipples and Jared shudders in the circle of his arms. 

They break apart when Jeff joins them again and Jared looks at Jeff in the light of the dying fire, Jeff's dick inches from his face as he slips back under the sleeping bag, hard and curved up against his stomach. Jared licks his lips, and Jeff gives him a knowing grin.

"Another time, baby," he says lewdly, waggling his eyebrows, and Jared grins as Jeff tosses the lube to Jensen.

"Later?"

Jeff's grin gets bigger. "Sweetheart, speaking from experience, I'm not sure you'll be up for anything after Jensen is done with you," he murmurs and cups Jared's face, brushing their lips together. Jared moans, chases Jeff's mouth when he draws back again. 

Jeff kisses the bridge of his nose, beard scratching against Jared's skin, and hooks his hand around the back of Jared's knee, pulling his leg up and over his hip again. He keeps his hand there, holding Jared, and Jared bites his lip as he hears the snick of the lube bottle being opened.

Jensen comes back with his fingers first, spreading cold lube around Jared's rim and then sinking into Jared, getting him slicked-up. His touch is superficial, getting Jared ready quickly before he pulls out again.

Anticipation coils in Jared's stomach, and he sucks in a breath when Jensen's slick dick nudges between his cheeks.

"Ready, sweetheart?" Jensen asks quietly. 

Jared nods, and he feels Jensen shift forward, the thick head of his dick pressing against Jared's entrance. He pushes forward slowly, pressure building before the head slips in, and Jared gasps.

Jensen stills, kisses Jared's shoulder. "Okay?" he murmurs.

"Yeah. Keep going," Jared says, and Jeff hums, pressing his fingers deeper into Jared's leg, his thumb rubbing over his skin.

Jensen kisses the same spot on his shoulder again and then pushes in deeper. He's thicker than Jared anticipated, splitting him open wide, and he slowly sinks in deep. It feels like all the air is being pushed out of Jared's lungs and his mouth parts around a silent whimper. 

"He's a big motherfucker, huh?" Jeff asks and Jared can only nod. Jeff leans in, covering Jared's mouth with his and swiping his tongue over Jared's as Jensen works himself in, not stopping until he's hips are flush against Jared's butt. His arm slides around Jared's waist then, his hand settling warm and broad on his stomach just as Jeff pulls back. 

Jared is panting, his eyes screwed shut, and Jensen holds Jared tight but doesn't move, giving Jared time to adjust to him. Jared's hole clenches a few times, the burn of being split open and pleasure racing through him, and he takes a couple of deep breaths.

"Move," he finally says, his voice breaking around the one word.

Jensen grunts quietly and then pulls back, sinking back into Jared right away and forcing another moan out of him. 

Jensen fucks differently than Jeff—a bit harder, a bit faster, working his hips against him relentlessly, keeping him full as he fucks Jared deeply, pushing Jared against Jeff with each thrust. Jeff keeps drawing him into kisses, swallowing the moans and gasps and whimpers that fall from Jared's mouth. Both of their hands stay on Jared the whole time, holding him, keeping him in place, and Jared feels like he's floating, pleasure racing through him, caught between Jeff and Jensen in a way that makes it impossible for him to not just let go, let them control his body and bring him to orgasm. 

Jensen keeps murmuring soft encouragements, quiet admissions about how tight Jared feels around him, how good he's being, and Jeff edges him on. "That's it. You're making him feel so good, Jensen. Doesn't he, sweetheart? Fucking you so deep, stuffing you full of his cock." he whispers between filthy kisses. "Wish you could see Jared's face right now, babe. He's loving this so much." 

Jared can only slur his agreement, keening when Jensen's cock drags against his prostate. He can feel his orgasm deep in his belly, heat spreading out and his muscles clenching up as he starts coming, shooting spurts of come between him and Jeff. 

"Fuck. Fuck, baby," Jensen hisses, and he fucks into Jared twice more before he comes as well, sticky and hot inside of Jared. 

Jared is still trembling through the aftershocks, his brain feeling fuzzy and his heart racing, when he realizes Jeff is touching himself, working his cock with hard and fast jerks before he comes all over Jared with a grunt.

Sluggishly, Jared lets Jensen pull him back tighter against him, spooning him, and Jeff presses against his front, all three of them sticky and sweaty.

*

Jared wakes up sprawled out on his stomach, buck naked, the sleeping bag pulled up high over him. He blinks and rubs his eyes, feeling the grit of sleep there, and shifts when he realizes he's alone. He rolls onto his side, and there's definitely an ache in his backside that makes him wince and then smile, remembering last night.

Jeff and Jensen are sitting by the ashes of last night's fire, watching him with matching grins.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty," Jeff says. 

Jared sits up, pulling the sleeping bag around his waist to fend off the cool air, and hums. "Morning," he replies around a yawn.

"Want some breakfast?" Jensen asks.

Jared nods, rolling his shoulders before standing up carefully. "Ugh, I'm a mess," he mutters, looking down at himself as both Jeff and Jensen snicker. There's dried come on his belly and in his pubes, and he can feel the remnants of lube and come between his legs and cheeks as well.

"I'm afraid all we have is a few bottles of water and a t-shirt Jensen and I already used to clean up a little," Jeff says, nodding at the crumpled fabric resting on top of his backpack. 

Jared grabs it quickly, looking around for some water.

"We'll try to find a river or lake so you can clean up properly later," Jensen promises, reaching for his backpack.

"Hmm. I don't know," Jeff muses, smirking at Jared with a raised eyebrow as Jensen pulls some food out. "I kinda like the look of him like this." 

"Well, you're a dirty old pervert," Jared snarks and uncaps the bottle of water he finds, pouring a healthy amount onto the t-shirt before he starts rubbing himself down, trying to clean the worst of the mess off himself.

He gets dressed quickly, stuffing his feet into his boots, and then joins Jeff and Jensen, sitting down with them.

Jensen hands him an opened can of pineapple slices and Jeff kisses his temple.

"How are you feeling?" he asks, his tone more serious now.

Jared accepts the can and shrugs. "Okay," he admits honestly. 

Jeff smiles, looking relieved, and curls his arm around Jared's shoulder. "Good," he says, and Jensen nods.

*

They end up finding a lake late in the afternoon, and Jared is eager to clean up. They all get undressed and head into the water, washing off sweat and dirt and the remnants of last night. The lake is deep enough to swim around properly and Jared makes good use of that, swimming a few laps. Jeff and Jensen join him where the water is so deep they can't touch the ground, but while Jared keeps swimming, they tread water, Jensen's arms wrapped around Jeff's neck. Jared keeps sneaking glances at them, watches them share a few kisses, both of them smiling. They look happy and it fills Jared with warmth. He loves seeing them like this, seeing how much love there is between them and knowing he's a part of that.

He ducks his head under the water, getting it wet, and then swims a little further, only stopping when Jeff calls out his name.

Jared turns around, treading water. "What?"

"I think you're as far away from us as we feel comfortable with," Jensen calls, grinning. "Get your perfect ass back here."

Jeff laughs, nuzzling Jensen's neck and kissing his jaw, as Jared starts swimming back towards them.

"You both are needy fuckers," Jared mocks when he's close enough and Jensen lets go of Jeff's neck with one arm, holding it out to Jared. Jared closes the remaining distance between them, smiling, and Jensen slides his arm underwater and around Jared's waist, tugging him closer. Jared hooks one arm around his neck, kissing him quickly. 

"We should probably get out soon. We need to get dry and find somewhere for the night unless we want to stay right here," Jeff says, but he slips his own hand around Jared instead of pulling away. His hand settles on Jared's ass, giving his cheek a firm squeeze and Jared hums happily.

"Jeff," he murmurs.

Jeff slides a finger between his cheeks, running it down his crack and then stroking the pad over Jared's hole.

"Just making sure you're clean," he says and then draws back as Jensen chuckles. 

"Tease," Jared complains.

"Me? If I remember correctly you still owe me a blowjob." 

Jensen turns his head, brushing his lips over Jared's ear. "Don't fall for that. I paid your debt this morning," he murmurs, and Jared laughs even though warmth settles in his stomach at the thought.

"That was freely given and has nothing to do with Jared," Jeff argues. 

"You're both idiots," Jared says and pulls back, kicking his legs underwater. Then he grins at both of them. "If you beat me to the shore, I'll suck both of you off."

He laughs when Jensen and Jeff untangle quickly.

*

That night, sprawled out with his head on Jeff's chest and Jensen curled up against Jeff's other side, fast asleep already, Jared thinks he probably shouldn't be this happy. The world almost ended, millions upon millions of people died, Jared freaking shot a guy the other day, but Jared is still happier now than he was before. 

He should feel guilty that he's still here. More than that, that he's happy. But the only thing Jared feels guilty about is that he doesn't care.

As Jeff runs his fingers through his hair, scratching over his scalp and lulling Jared to sleep underneath a cloudless sky, stars and the moon bright out here in the middle of nowhere, Jared thinks muzzily that this life is giving him more than his old one ever did and he's selfish enough to be happy for himself. 

There are things in his life he wishes he could erase, but it all led him here, and his only regret is that he isn't as good a guy as Jeff and Jensen probably think he is.

"Go to sleep," Jeff murmurs, and Jared realizes he's been squirming around a little. He stills, and Jeff keeps petting his hair.

"Go to sleep," Jeff repeats in a whisper. "Everything's okay, baby. I've got you. Always will."


	3. Chapter 3

The farm they come across a few days later is half burned down, the blackened walls that remain protruding into the air, looking ready to crumble as well. There's a barn across from it that's still intact, and when they take a peek inside they find, next to an old tractor and hay, a caravan trailer. 

"Maybe a ranch hand's," Jensen says as they peek inside. There's a kitchen nook inside and seating area across from it, and a bed in the back. 

"You guys wanna stay here?" Jeff asks, moving around the small space. He trails his fingers over the table and they come away dusty. "Nobody's been here in a while."

"This is like a five-star accommodation compared to where we usually sleep," Jensen says, nodding and taking off his backpack. Jared and Jeff follow suit, and they store them at the front of the trailer, out of the way so they can move around comfortably. Jensen pulls out some cans of food for later and Jeff starts rummaging around the many small cabinets while Jared sits down on the edge of the bed. 

"Fuck, this is nice," he says, bouncing a little on the mattress.

Jensen sits down next to him and then lays back with a small groan. "God, yes," he says.

"Guys," Jeff says, and holds up a bottle of Jack Daniels, still filled to the top with amber liquid, and grins.

"God, yes," Jensen groans. "I haven't had a drink in forever." 

"Tell me about it," Jeff says and joins them on the bed. Jared scoots back and Jeff settles across from him, Jensen to Jared's right and Jeff's left, all of them with their backs against one of the walls of the trailer.

"Should we eat something first?" Jensen asks.

Jeff shrugs. "We can have some and then eat," he suggests, twisting the cap open. He takes a swig, swallowing and grimacing even as he makes a pleased sound. "Man, that's good. And this isn't even the good stuff." 

Jensen snickers and snatches the bottle from him, taking a gulp as well before holding the bottle out to Jared.

Jared bites down on his lower lip and hesitates. "I don't really drink."

"What? No college parties?" Jeff asks. 

"I've been to a few. Had a couple of beers a few times," Jared says, shrugging. "But I don't really like drinking. My dad liked to have a few too many." 

"Shit. Jesus," Jeff mutters and reaches for the cap which he'd dropped onto the mattress. "I'll put this away if it makes you uncomfortable." 

"No, it's fine. He wasn't much worse when he drank than when he didn't," Jared says, smiling weakly. He cuts a glance at Jensen. "Good old, traditional, Bible-thumping Texas family." 

"Church every Sunday?" Jensen guesses.

Jared snorts. "Yeah. But church was better than being at home some days, so I didn't even mind that part too much. At least nobody took a belt to me there." 

"Jared," Jeff says, his voice thick and sad. 

Jared shrugs awkwardly. "It's okay. It was what it was," he says and then more quietly, "They kicked me out when they found out I was gay anyway." 

"Christ, Jay," Jeff mutters. "How old were you?"

"Seventeen. Just a few weeks before graduation," he says and grabs the bottle Jensen is still clutching. If they're talking about this, he's probably gonna need this, so he takes a big sip, coughing at the way it burns, his eyes watering. He takes another gulp anyway. "Shit." 

"Baby," Jensen murmurs. "Slow down."

"Might as well, right?" Jared says and snorts. His stomach is feeling warm from the whiskey, his throat burning. 

"You don't have to talk about any of this if you don't want to," Jensen says gently.

Jared shrugs. He doesn't think Jensen is right about that one. There's so much they don't know about him, so much they probably should. Things he's kept to himself because it scares him to voice them, to think about how Jeff and Jensen might react. But they have a right to know—to truly know him, for him to stop keeping everything bottled up. 

"There was this guy," he starts. "We weren't friends or anything; he barely even acknowledged me at school. But our families went to the same church, so we knew each other. And we started fooling around; he said he wasn't gay, but he was happy to let me suck him off. Until his dad walked in on us. And of course he told my parents." 

"Sweetheart," Jeff murmurs. Jared cuts a glance at him. 

"I never talked to anyone about this. I _hate_ talking about it," he admits. 

"Then don't. Nobody is making you, Jay," Jensen promises gently. "You don't have to tell us anything you're not comfortable sharing with us."

Jared takes another drink and then holds the bottle out to Jensen. He can feel the liquor already going to his head, unfamiliar with drinking this much. "Thing is, I kinda do have to talk about it," he admits. "You deserve to know. That's what people in a relationship do, right, they share the good and the bad with each other?" 

Jensen makes a soft noise and Jeff leans forward. "Jared, no. You don't owe us anything." 

Jared bites down onto his lower lip. "No? Because the guy's dad? After he fucking ruined my life, he offered me cash to suck him off as well," he says, his voice breaking. He huffs. "And I _did_. Couple more times after that, too. I think that's something you should know about me, right?"

He laughs humorlessly, and feels a hand on his ankle. He looks up and Jensen is looking at him with a soft expression, hand curling around the back of Jared's foot.

"No. We don't," he says. He takes a swig of the bottle and then hands it to Jeff. "Unless you want us to know."

Jared bites his lip, then nods slowly. He's started now, so he might as well get it all out there.

"I had some places I could go to crash for a night or two, but not always. I didn't exactly have a lot of friends," he continues. "I had a full ride for college and it was a few weeks before graduation, so I knew it was just temporary. And with the money I could get a room and some food when I needed."

"Jared, you did what you had to do to get by," Jeff says gently. "We've all done a lot of shit to make ends meet. And it sounds like you didn't exactly have a lot of options."

"I didn't," Jared agrees sadly and then sighs, holding his hand out for Jeff to pass him the bottle. "Wasn't the only time I did it though. When the virus spread. When things started to get _really_ bad, I just wanted to get away from people. Tried hitching a ride. There was this guy with a truck. He gave me a ride. All I had to do was let him fuck me."

Jensen's hand squeezes his foot and Jared takes a drink, then another, and holds the bottle out to Jensen, feeling sloppy tipsy already.

"And then there was another one after that," he adds and laughs dryly. "I just didn't know what to do at first. And he had some food and he let me tag along with him, took care of me. He wasn't bad looking, so I didn't mind sleeping with him. It was, you know, mutually beneficial or whatever." 

"Jared, you were trying to survive. That doesn't mean shit. I've slept with guys for worse reasons than that," Jeff insists.

Jared frowns. "Yeah, well. It stopped being good with him after the first few times. He was a dick," he says. "I ditched his ass as fast as I could when he started getting really rough with me."

Jensen's hand tightens, clenches around him for a split second, before his hold loosens. 

"Fucker," he mutters.

Jared hums. "I always used protection. I was always safe," he says. "I just… wanted you to know."

"Okay," Jeff says slowly, his voice so soft and gentle Jared wants to cry.

"You're not mad? Or disgusted?" he asks.

"You didn't do anything wrong," Jensen says and he shifts, scoots to sit down next to Jared, tugging him against his side. He kisses Jared's temple, then the top of his head when Jared leans down, resting his cheek on Jensen's shoulder.

"I've done worse things," Jensen adds quietly, his voice strained. Jared turns his head a little, looks up at him, and the expression on Jensen's face tugs at his heart.

"Jensen," he breathes out and brushes his lips against Jensen's jaw. Jeff stretches his legs, his feet tangling with Jared's and Jensen's.

"You two need to stop. Stop beating yourselves up over shit you did in the past," he says. 

"I killed Chris and Steve, Jeff," Jensen says quietly.

Jared has no idea who those people are, but Jeff's expression changes, becomes pained and disbelieving.

"They were infected," Jensen says. "I went to Steve's bar and they were there, already pretty far gone, and they were advancing towards me. And I shot them." 

"Jensen. They were already dead, babe," Jeff says. "You saved your life. Both of you, you did what you had to do to survive. And I'm glad you did, because that's the only thing I care about."

"Yeah?" Jared asks quietly.

"Yeah. Yeah—the three of us together, that's the only thing that matters," Jeff stresses, and Jared sniffs as a hot tear slips from the corner of his eye and slowly rolls down his cheek.

*

There's a pain in Jared's temple when he wakes up and a gross taste in his mouth. He grimaces before his eyes are even open and covers his face with his arm, groaning.

"Your head?" Jensen asks, his voice quiet. Jared lifts his arm and squints, happy that it's not too bright in the trailer. They left the wide barn doors open but the light is still pretty dim inside. Jensen is already up, though not fully dressed yet, standing in the small space between the kitchen and seating area.

"Yeah," Jared admits and groans, pushing himself up into a sitting position. He scoots to the edge of the mattress, lets his feet dangle down. "How are you?" 

Jensen runs a hand over his face. "Been better," he admits. "Pretty crazy how quickly your body can stop being able to hold liquor."

Jared gives Jensen a weak smile. "Jeff?" he asks.

"About the same as me," Jensen says. "There's an old water pump out back. He's trying to clean up a little."

Jared nods, rolling his lower lip between his teeth. "Jensen," he starts. "What I told you yesterday. Are you still cool with that?"

Jensen looks at him, his expression open and soft. "Of course, Jay." 

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Yeah, Jared," Jensen says and steps closer. Jared plants his feet on the ground and stands up, giving a small smile when Jensen pulls him close.

"How about you? You're okay with what I told you?" 

"Nothing's changed," Jared says, and tucks his face into the crook of Jensen's neck, sliding his arms around Jensen's waist. "Not even a little." 

"Good," Jensen murmurs. 

The door opens with a creak and the trailer shakes as Jeff comes in. Jared lifts his head.

"You guys okay?" Jeff asks, stopping in the doorway and giving them a puzzled look. His hair is dripping and his hoodie has wet spots around the collar. 

Jensen loosens his hold on Jared a little. "Yeah, we're good," he says and nudges Jared. "Right?" 

"Yeah," Jared confirms. "Just. You know…"

He isn't sure Jeff knows what he's trying to say, but he isn't sure how to put it into words either. How worried he was that his admission would make Jeff and Jensen look at him differently, not want him anymore, and how relieved he is that it didn't. 

Jeff steps closer, winds an arm around each of them and pulls them against him. Jared turns a little, leans into Jeff and settles one hand on Jeff's waist.

"You two know I fucking love you, right?" Jeff says, his voice gruff. 

Jared's breath stops for a second and he fists his hand into Jeff's shirt. He isn't sure when someone last told him those words, when he last _felt_ loved like this. His parents never freely showed love and affection, especially not in the last few years he lived at home. It wasn't that bad when he was younger, but then they got more and more involved in their church, their religion taking over more and more and leaving less room for anything else. 

Jared swallows thickly. 

Jeff sighs, not unhappily, and Jared feels a kiss being pressed to his temple, before Jeff steps back. They untangle from the hug, and Jeff gives them a small smile. "How about we take a break today and stay here?" he says. "Not gonna lie, I'm feeling kinda crappy. I wouldn't mind staying in bed a little longer and not walking anywhere today." 

"That sounds pretty damn good," Jared agrees. "I feel kinda groggy."

"Yeah," Jensen agrees and runs a hand over his face, smiling. "Doesn't sound too bad."

"I think I'm gonna go get cleaned up a little as well," Jared says. 

Jeff nods. "Didn't see anything for miles when I was out there, but take your gun," he says. 

Jared nods, putting on his jeans and boots and tucking his gun into the back of his pants.

He goes behind the shed, takes a piss, and then heads for the pump. He gives the handle a few good pumps; it's old and a little stuck and the water trickles out slowly, but it's enough to wash his hands, splash some water onto his face and then cup some water into his hands to swish around in his mouth. The weather's nice, sun shining but not too hot, and the whole place feels peaceful, a few birds chirping.

Jared trudges back into the barn and into the trailer.

Jeff and Jensen are back in bed, Jeff sprawled out on his stomach, the sheets around his waist. Jensen is on his side, one hand on Jeff's back under his shirt, and he gives Jared a small, tired smile. Jared shucks his boots and jeans off and crawls into bed with them, settling down next to Jeff, who shifts onto his side to let Jared burrow closer. He throws his arm over Jared, his hand settling between his shoulder blades, and draws small circles there. None of them say a word, and it's not long before Jensen's breathing gets a little louder, almost a snore. 

"Jeff?" Jared whispers.

Jeff touches his cheek, then tucks strands of hair behind Jared's ear. "What is it, baby?"

Jared lifts his head to look at Jensen over Jeff's shoulder, who is fast asleep, and then sighs and lies down face to face with Jeff. He tucks a hand under his head, resting his cheek on top. "What you said earlier…"

"Hmmm?" 

"That you love us," Jared explains, his voice hushed. He averts his eyes.

"What about it, sweetheart?"

Jared meets his eyes and then shifts closer, arranging himself so he can tuck his head under Jeff's. He places a kiss to the dip of his throat, just above the collar of his t-shirt. "I love you too," he admits quietly.

Jeff sighs and kisses the top of his head, stroking Jared's back. "That not a good thing?"

"No. It _is_. I just… wanted you to know. Because I didn't say anything when you said it, but I do love you, too. I—I love you so damn much," Jared says and swallows. "And Jensen… it's too soon. But I'm really falling in love with him. I'm just not ready to say those words to him yet."

"Hey, you've got all the time in the world," Jeff murmurs. "And he knows. Believe me, he knows. And he feels the same way about you. The three of us—that's really something special, Jay."

"Yeah," Jared agrees and smiles to himself. "Say it again."

The words are barely out before he yawns, and Jeff laughs softly.

"I love you, Jared," he says.

*

When Jared wakes up for a second time that day, Jeff and Jensen are up, sitting on the bed in a mess of sheets, bent over something, static noise filling the trailer. Jared shifts and squints at them.

"Look who's finally ready to join the living," Jensen teases, reaching out and running a hand through Jared's tousled hair.

"What are you guys doing?" he asks, spying the small portable radio in Jeff's lap. "'S that a radio?"

"I found it in one of the cabinets. Batteries still work," Jeff says, fiddling with one of the dials.

Jared yawns and flips over onto his back. "And now you're trying to find Apocalypse FM?" he guesses and heaves himself into a sitting position. 

"Brat," Jeff says, amused.

Jared grins and scoots closer to drape himself against Jensen, resting his head on his shoulder. "What are you going to do about it?" 

"I can think of a few things," Jeff counters. Jared is about to reply when his stomach rumbles loudly.

"All right," Jensen says with a small laugh. "I think someone needs to refuel first."

He nudges Jared off him and slips out of bed, the sheets getting pushed off them as he goes. For a moment, Jared's gaze follows him, appreciating the way Jensen's ass looks in the dark underwear he's wearing, and then he turns his head and nods at the radio Jeff is still holding onto.

"Seriously, you think that's gonna be any good?"

Jeff sighs. "I figured it couldn't hurt to try. There are probably some people who still have electricity, with the help of solar panels or even using water or wind power. Maybe even larger groups of people," he says. "But I guess they have better things to do than try to broadcast their whereabouts." 

"It was a good idea," Jensen chimes in. He's retrieved a couple of cans from his backpack. "You might catch a signal somewhere else." 

"Yeah, well. Our backpacks are already heavy enough and we can't be carrying this around as well," Jeff says, picking up the radio and putting it aside.

"True, yeah," Jensen says and gives a small, wry smile. 

"So, what's for dinner, darling?" Jeff asks.

"We've got cold SpaghettiOs and chicken and rice," Jensen announces dryly. "Got some other stuff, but this was at the top."

"I want SpaghettiOs," Jared pipes up. "Cold chicken and rice sounds horrible."

"Jeff? We've got enough SpaghettiOs for three, I think." 

"Sounds good," Jeff agrees. "Are we gonna eat in bed?"

"Might as well, right?" Jensen says, shrugging. He opens the cans, gets their three forks and then joins them back in bed with their food.

"I kinda wish we didn't have to get back on the road," Jared muses as they start digging in. "This is kinda nice."

"Hey. We won't be on the road forever," Jensen promises. 

*

Despite the fact that they've already slept half of the day away, they don't bother getting out of bed for the rest of the day. They lounge around in t-shirts and underwear, talking and making out and taking another nap in the afternoon. When the sun sets and it gets darker in the barn, after dinner, they curl up together. Their kisses get deeper, their touches more insistent and soon they strip out of their remaining clothes. 

Jared rides Jeff, all slow and long, Jeff's hands gripping him and pressing bruises into his hips, and afterwards, with Jared still panting, Jeff crawls between Jensen's legs and sucks him off. They fall asleep in a tangle of sweaty, sticky limbs.

*

"My socks are getting pretty thread-bare at the heel," Jensen says with a sigh as he tugs his socks back on. 

They've been back on the road for a few days now and the small lake is the first place they found where they could properly clean up since the farm. It's been nothing but fields and the occasional abandoned farmhouse until now.

Jared runs a hand through his wet hair, trying to work out some of the tangles. "I think I've still got a pair that's okay somewhere in my backpack," he offers.

"Thanks, babe. But we're probably gonna have to find a store and get some new clothes soon anyway," Jensen says. "We're gonna need some warmer clothes eventually. And that rip in your jeans is getting bigger."

Jared glances down at the frayed tear in the right knee of his jeans. The left side is starting to wear a little thin, too.

"It's starting to get colder," Jeff hums in agreement. "The last couple of nights were a bit chilly."

"Yeah. We probably still have a few decent weeks, but you can definitely tell fall is coming," Jensen says and sighs, reaching for his boots. "Maybe we shouldn't head much further north. Stick around these parts of the country."

"What are we going to do during the winter?" Jared asks. He sits down on one of the large, flat rocks next to Jensen, stretching his legs out and looking at the small lake they just took a bath in. "We're not gonna be able to sleep outside." 

"No. We're gonna have to find a permanent shelter eventually, at least for a few months," Jensen says. "Somewhere where we can still get supplies and hunt or fish."

"It's gonna be all fish and squirrels, isn't it?" Jared jokes and makes a face.

Jensen leans in and kisses his cheek. "'Fraid so, sweetheart," he says. "But it's better than nothing." 

"Yeah," Jared agrees. 

"It's a pretty tall order, finding a place like that," Jeff notes grimly and Jared's stomach sinks with worry.

Jensen shrugs. "We've been sticking to pretty isolated areas when we're not looking for a town to stock up," he says. "There are places around where we can stay for a while."

"There are creepers and crazy people everywhere else," Jared points out.

"Not everywhere," Jensen says gently and rests a hand on Jared's leg, squeezing it. "We've got some time. A couple of months. We'll find someplace."

Jared nods, though he doesn't feel quite as confident.

"Enough doomsday talk for today," Jeff decides, and Jensen nods. 

"Yeah, let's get a fire started, have some food and then settle down," he agrees.

*

That evening, they sit by the roaring fire with Jared resting against Jensen's shoulder, Jensen running his fingers through his hair, his other hand on Jeff's leg. Jared dozes off like that, to the low murmur of Jensen and Jeff's voices. Their conversation earlier that day has triggered a wave of worry inside of him, but being this close to Jeff and Jensen, he can't help but feel safe, feel taken care of.

*

They find a small department store in the deserted outskirts of a town a few days later. The store is in pretty bad shape, windows smashed and things pulled off of shelves, trash and broken glass littering the ground, and it smells heavily of rotting food. They set out to find some still edible food first, before they head for the clothing section. The racks have been overturned, clothes ripped off and strewn around, but some stuff is still in good shape.

They manage to exchange most of their clothes for newer, clean stuff, stripping down right there in the store and emptying out their backpacks as well. 

"God, it feels good to wear something that's _really_ clean," Jared says as he smoothes the new hoodie down his chest. 

"And those jeans actually fit you," Jeff points out. "Maybe you can stop tugging your pants back up every five seconds now." 

"I'm not doing that," Jared argues, but judging by the way Jensen bites back a grin, he apparently is. 

"Hey, I wasn't complaining. It's a little distracting though," Jeff teases. He hooks an arm around Jared's neck and pulls him in to kiss his cheek. "Are we ready to go?" 

Smiling, Jared nods and they pick up their backpacks.

They've barely stepped out of the store when Jensen stops. "Creepers to the right," he says, pulling his gun out.

Jared's stomach fills with dread, the way it always does in these situations, but he automatically reaches for his own gun, too. It's just two creepers, but they're blocking the path they came from.

"Head the other way or shoot them and possibly attract more attention?" Jeff asks; it's become their standard protocol for this kind of situation, quickly checking to make sure they're all on the same page before they spring into action.

"Not sure we have a choice this time. We're gonna head deeper into town if we go the other way," Jensen says, and Jared barely waits for Jeff to nod before he shoots. 

Two bullets, and they both hit their targets perfectly. 

"Let's go," Jensen urges, and then he throws Jared a grin. "Those shots were fucking perfect, baby. Good job." 

Jared smiles, feeling a burst of pride at Jensen's words. Some days it feels like there isn't much he has to offer and he's happy whenever he can contribute something. Neither Jensen nor Jeff seem to mind that they take care of Jared more than he takes care of them, and maybe that's due to the age thing or that, like Jeff claimed, they both like to be in charge. 

They make it out of the town, heading back towards where they came from and then picking a road that leads west at random, Jeff looking at his compass to make sure they're not heading too far north.

"It's been a little while since we've come across creepers," Jensen says thoughtfully as they continue walking.

"We haven't exactly been seeking out places where creepers hang out," Jeff replies. "But yeah. And I got no complaints about that."

"There were definitely more further south, right?" Jensen insists. "Or am I just seeing what I want to see?"

"I think you're right," Jared agrees.

Jensen nods. "Yeah," he says. "I bet it's still pretty bad in the cities, but out here the numbers seem to be shrinking. Or maybe the virus that turned people didn't hit general area as badly as some others."

"We shouldn't let our guard down though," Jeff says. 

"No," Jensen agrees, smiling sadly. "Still lots of crap in this world, one way or another."

*

The nights start to get noticeably chillier the following weeks. It's not too cold yet, but definitely colder, and Jared is glad it's three of them, their shared body heat keeping them nice and warm. They don't have a fixed sleeping arrangement, but Jared ends up in the middle a lot, the three of them curled up together.

"'S because you're so nice and warm," Jensen tells him one night, his hand buried under Jared's shirt, stroking over his belly. 

"And you look so damn good between us," Jeff adds, a leer in his voice.

Jared snorts and kicks him a little. 

"You don't like being in the middle?" Jensen asks.

"No, I like it," Jared says softly. 

Crawling into their little nest of sleeping bags at the end of the day, a fire still roaring and adding extra warmth, is always Jared's favorite part of the day. Whether there's sex or they just cuddle up close, falling asleep tangled together, with Jeff and Jensen on either side of him, he feels safest, the most comforted like this. 

*

They don't intend to walk too deeply into the small town they come across, just looking for a store where they can stock up. The first one they find is tiny and pretty much a bust, the shelves completely cleaned out. It doesn't spark a good feeling in Jared, but the town seems to be completely deserted, so they decide to head into it a little further.

"Am I the only one who feels like these places feel worse when there aren't any survivors or creepers hanging around?" Jared asks, looking around at the buildings lining the streets. 

Judging by the stores and abandoned restaurants, this must have been the main shopping street. One building is completely covered in graffiti and Jared wonders if that was what it already looked like before, because it doesn't fit in with the neat little small town vibes. His eyes fall down to the bottom of the wall, and he spots a small yellow arrow there. He's seen several around town, reminding him of a scavenger hunt for kids. He did one of those once for a neighbor's birthday party when he was a kid and it's one of the few memories from his childhood he can think about that still makes him smile.

"Kinda expect a gush of wind and then a ghost to appear, huh?" Jensen asks.

Jeff huffs out a laugh. "At this point I wouldn't even be fucking surprised if we got ghosts too."

"I think I can do without them," Jared mutters, making sure to match Jeff's and Jensen's strides to stick close to them, Jensen right in front of him.

Which is why he nearly runs into Jensen when he slows down. "There are bodies over there." 

Jared follows Jensen's glance and sees them too, at least two bodies where an alley begins, the shadows obscuring them.

"Probably dead for a long time," Jeff says. "Come on, let's keep going."

Jensen nods and picks up his pace again. They keep their distance, staying on the other side of the road as they pass the alley. "Looks like it might have been creepers," Jensen says.

Jared's eyes roam around, passing over empty windows. "So there might be survivors here." 

"Or they could be long gone," Jeff adds, but his hand rests on the butt of his gun. 

They find a second store down the road, but that one is a bust as well; it's tiny to begin with and has been cleaned out already. They step back outside, broken glass crunching under their boots.

"Let's get out of here," Jensen suggests. "I'm getting a weird feeling about this place."

"Yeah, okay," Jeff agrees, and Jared notices that he waits until Jared is a step ahead of him, Jensen taking the lead.

They're heading back down the main road towards the forest they can see off in the distance, when Jared stops and cocks his head to the side, studying yet more graffiti. The words "When I hear that robin sing, well I know it's coming on spring" are written on a wall and he knows he saw the same words on a wall when they entered the town.

"What's wrong?" Jeff asks.

Jared nods at the writing in yellow spray paint. "That's the second time I've seen that," he notes. "And have you guys noticed the small yellow arrows around town?"

"And you think it means something?" Jeff ponders, looking around.

"It just caught my attention. The graffiti looks pretty new, right?" Jared says and shrugs. "But it's probably nothing."

Jensen makes a thoughtful noise, looking at the writing on the wall. "No, maybe you're on to something," he says. "It's a song. I remember my mom listening to it a lot when I was younger." 

"So?" Jeff asks. 

"Next line is _We're starting a new life_."

"Really?" Jared asks, frowning.

"I'm pretty damn sure. I've heard it so many times, I know the whole thing by heart," Jensen says, and shrugs. "It could be nothing. Just someone messing around. But…."

"But that does sound like maybe someone is leaving a message around town," Jeff finishes and rubs his jaw. "Question is, what do we do now? Do we follow the arrows?" 

"There could be a place with other survivors around here," Jensen says. 

"Could be," Jeff agrees. "It could be what we're looking for—a place to stay, shelter." 

"Or it could be a trap," Jared interjects.

They all look at each other for a moment and Jared can guess by the look that passes between Jeff and Jensen what they want to do. They both look hopeful.

"You both think we should see if there's a camp or something," he says.

"Sweetheart, if you don't want to go," Jensen starts, "then we're not going anywhere. I'm not going anywhere if we're not all in this together." 

"No, we should vote," Jared decides. 

"How about we find a place to set up camp for the night not too far from town and sleep on it?" Jeff suggests. "Let's not rush into this." 

"I think that's a good idea," Jensen agrees. "That okay with you, Jay?" 

Jared nods, and when Jensen holds his hand out to him, Jared takes it.

*

All three of them are quieter than usual that evening, lost in thought. Jared doubts any of them will change their minds overnight and maybe it _is_ a good idea. They need to find a place to stay, somewhere where they're provided shelter and food. When they left Texas, he didn't think they'd keep wandering around forever. He hadn't been sure what they were heading towards, but he knew they'd find whatever it was they were looking for eventually, if something didn't happen to them first. And maybe there is a camp and maybe it'll be what they've been searching for. Or maybe the graffiti meant nothing and they'll just keep on moving. But Jared can't help but worry about the third option, that whatever is waiting at the end of those arrows isn't good. 

It makes his stomach twist and he barely eats anything until he notices Jeff and Jensen's concerned looks. 

"Jared, I was serious about what I said earlier. We're not going to look for a camp if that's not what you want, okay?" Jensen says. 

Jared glances at Jeff, who gives him a nod, but Jared shakes his head anyway. "Majority rules," he says. "And I trust you guys. If you still think we should do this tomorrow morning, we should."

Jensen sighs but drops the subject. 

*

"Can I sleep in the middle tonight?" Jared asks as they settle down. He never asks to, even if he usually ends up in there anyway, but he wants to make sure he can feel both Jeff and Jensen close tonight or he doubts he's going to get any rest.

"Of course," Jensen says and leans in, kissing Jared softly. "It'll be okay, Jay. Whatever we decide, we'll be okay."

Jared nods and doesn't point out that that's not a promise Jensen can make.

*

Jared wakes up with his stomach in knots and he has to force breakfast down. He's almost relieved when Jensen clears his throat, ready to get the conversation over with, because he can already guess the outcome.

"So. I think we should give it a shot," Jensen says, but he doesn't sound happy about it.

"I don't," Jeff says and Jared looks at him, startled.

"Bullshit," he says, frowning. "You're just saying that because of me." 

Jeff shrugs. "We said we'd all get a vote. That's mine." 

"Fine," Jared says. "Then I'm agreeing with Jensen. So we're doing it." 

"Jared," Jeff starts, but Jared shakes his head.

"Don't make a choice based on what you think I want. Don't put that on me," he says. 

Jeff looks like he wants to argue, but then he sighs and gives Jared a sad little smile. "Okay. Okay," he says. "Guess that means we're going then."

*

They pack up quietly and return to the edge of town where they spied the first few arrows. They lead them out of town on a different path than they came in and they follow them to a barely trodden path through the forest. They don't talk much other than occasional remarks, but all conversations quickly fizzle out. Jared tries to stay optimistic, but not knowing what they might encounter scares him. And it's not just that these people—if there really are any at the end of these arrows—might be dangerous. If they aren't, if there really is a place where they can stay and be safe, then things are still going to change for them. It'll no longer be just the three of them and there's a part of Jared that balks at that. He wants to be safe, wants something akin to a home, but he doesn't want to have to share Jeff and Jensen. No matter how good their relationship is now, Jared is scared of what adding other people to the mix will to do it.

The forest is large, but the arrows lead them through it, pointing the way at every turn.

They break the line of trees after an hour of walking, reaching a wide spread of fields and in the distance a cluster of buildings, barely more than specks on the horizon. All three of them momentarily come to a stop.

"That might be it," Jensen says. 

"Ready?" Jeff asks in a quiet voice. 

Jared's nod is a little reluctant and Jeff curls a hand around Jared's wrist, tugs him in gently. Jared turns into him and Jeff leans to kiss him softly.

"It'll be okay, baby," he murmurs, and Jared sighs. 

"Yeah. Okay," he says and feels Jensen's hand settle on his nape, thumb brushing over skin and hair.

The fields slope down and there's a road leading through them, winding its way closer and closer to the buildings. 

As they get a little closer, the buildings become bigger and Jared realizes there's a fence built around them, walling off a large area.

"Not a bad idea," Jeff notes. "If it's sturdy enough, that's gonna keep creepers out."

"People too," Jared adds and wonders if that'll apply to them. It'd be a sick game, leading people here and then turning them away or worse.

At first, Jared wonders if maybe there won't even be anyone there. The buildings might be abandoned by now, whoever built the fence and painted the arrows dead by now. 

But not too soon after that he thinks he sees movement and soon they turn into vague figures the closer they get. 

There are several people milling around inside the enclosure. Jared has no doubt the three of them have already been spotted and are being watched. As they near the camp, some people stop in their path, looking their way.

The fence is tall and sturdy. Three figures come up to the barrier as Jensen, Jared and Jeff approach, waiting, two men and a woman.

"Can we help you fellas?" a guy calls out, voice gruff. He's a little older and raises the shotgun in his hands as he talks. Jared's steps falter and Jeff and Jensen shift closer.

Jeff lifts his hands. "We don't want any trouble," he calls back. "We followed some arrows leading here."

The guy doesn't budge, but he nods, lowering the shotgun an inch or two. Jared, Jeff and Jensen cross the final stretch of the path leading right to the gate in the fence. 

"Put the gun down already, moron," the other guy says when they're just a few feet away. "We didn't paint those arrows so you could threaten people with your gun and scare them off when they get here." 

" _You_ painted them. You're too damn trusting, Misha," the other guy grumbles. 

"Hasn't killed me yet," Misha says cheerfully.

"Are you two done bickering?" a red-headed woman asks, rolling her eyes, before turning her attention to Jeff, Jensen and Jared. "Well, you three don't look like you're undead."

"Nah, pretty alive," Jensen confirms.

She cracks a smile and pulls out a keychain, unlocking the gate. The guy with the shotgun is still watching them a little warily, but he makes no move to stop her and doesn't raise his gun again.

"Come on in then," she says. "Fair warning, we're far more in numbers. You try anything, we _will_ shoot you."

"Noted," Jeff says and puts his hand on Jared's shoulder for a second as they walk in under the watchful eyes of everyone around. There are more people, milling around the buildings, but none of them seem very threatening. If it wasn't for the fence, Jared thinks absently, the place might appear kind of charming. There is a handful of big farmhouses and a few smaller stone cottages as well, and there are a couple of big barns too. 

"Good. I'm Danneel, by the way. The grump is Jim, and that's Misha," she introduces once they're inside. She closes the gate again and locks it up.

"I'm Jensen. Jeff. Jared," Jensen replies and points to each of them.

"Well, welcome to Ekonaor Camp," Danneel says, spreading her arms dramatically, while Jim huffs.

The name makes Jared frown. 

"Eko—what?" Jeff echoes.

"Is that Roanoke backwards?" Jared asks, and Danneel smiles widely.

"Yeah. 'Cause that was the lost colony. We're the opposite—we're the ones who remained while everyone else was lost. It seemed fitting, don't you think?"

"Mind you, most of us think it's a stupid name," Jim notes, and Danneel laughs.

"Yup. But the more I use it, the more it sticks," she says smugly.

"No," Jim and Misha say at the same time.

"Whatever," Danneel says. "So, why don't you guys unload? You want some water or a bite to eat?"

"We're good. Right, guys?" Jeff asks, and Jensen and Jared nod.

"But putting our backpacks down would be nice," Jensen adds. 

"Jen," Jared starts hesitantly and Jensen gives him a wry smile.

"If they wanna steal our stuff, they're gonna do it regardless. And I don't know about you, but it'd be nice not to carry everything around."

"We're not gonna rob you or attack you or anything like that," Danneel says resolutely. "I know you don't have a reason to trust me. But you came here, so…" 

"Might as well," Jeff finishes her thought, and Jared exhales slowly but nods.

*

There are fewer people there than Jared thought there would be, but to his surprise they pass a couple of children playing on a porch, too. They put their backpacks into what Danneel tells them is one of the common rooms and she introduces them to a few people as they walk by. Jim puts his shotgun down too and they settle at a wooden table in a large kitchen. It must have been a family home at one point, the table big enough to seat at least eight people comfortably. Jensen, Jeff and Jared take the chairs on one side of it, sitting a little closer than necessary much to Jared's relief, and he feels some of the tension ease out of him. Jensen's arm brushes against his every time one of them shifts and Jeff's knee knocks against his periodically.

"How long have you been on the road?" Misha asks conversationally.

"All in all?" Jeff huffs a laugh. "It's been a few months. We picked Jensen up in Texas. But Jay and I have been travelling pretty much since things went bottoms up."

He points at Jared at the mention of his name, shooting him a warm smile.

"Long time," Misha says, and Jeff nods.

"Yeah, a long time," he echoes gravely.

"I can't imagine," Danneel says, shaking her head a little. "Must be tough, trying to make it out there." 

"Eh, sometimes," Jensen says off-handedly, keeping his tone light. "We've done alright. But it's getting colder and we need a place to stay. I'm not sure what the rules and stipulations are, but if you guys are willing to take us in, we'd be really grateful."

"Hey, that's why we painted those arrows. So people could find us," Misha says.

"So what exactly is this place anyway?" Jeff asks, sitting back a little. His hand comes to rest on the back of Jared's chair and Jared feels his the back of Jeff's thumb press against his back. "How do things work around here?"

"It used to be a small farming community where several families lived," Danneel explains. "Jim's lived here for years." 

Jim nods, smiling a bit grimly. "Been here for about ten years," he says. "I moved here after my wife passed. I needed a fresh start." 

"I'm sorry," Jensen says, and Jim sighs.

"Thanks. But, well, we've all lost loved ones now," Jim says. "And at least she never had to go through any of this."

"So, you were all farmers here?"

"Yes and no. Some of us took care of the land and animals, some had other jobs. Here or in nearby towns," Jim says. "It was a community. We weren't completely self-sufficient, but we tried to be as much as we could."

"Which is probably what saved all of us," Danneel adds, shifting on her chair. "It's a sparsely populated area, so the virus didn't spread as quickly as it did in bigger cities. Most people still ended up dying, others feld, looking for God knows what, but the few of us who remained gathered here—I'm not sure if there are other places like this and how they do it, but I'm not sure we could have pulled this off if we hadn't already had most of what we need here. We have some chickens and cows and vegetable gardens and fields with grain. And a roof over our heads. I'd say that's about as good as it gets these days." 

"It is. We haven't come across anything like this before," Jeff agrees, nodding. "So most of you are from around here?" 

"A lot of us from the area, yes. Jim and Sam already lived in the community here before," Danneel says, nodding. "A few people joined us over time, but most of them didn't come from very far from here. This place is tiny, so it's rare anyone stumbles upon us." 

"And there aren't that many people left to begin with," Jeff interjects. "Most of them are in bigger cities, fighting things out with creepers."

"Exactly." 

"How does it work?" Jensen asks. "Does one person run this place or is it a community effort?"

"We split chores and everyone pitches in where they can. But it's a work in progress, I'd say," Misha says. "Honestly, we're still trying to figure things out. And Jim can tell you just how often we fuck things up."

"You'd think any of you would at least have been on a farm before."

"Just because I'm from a small town," Danneel starts with a grin and Jim scoffs, and it's obviously a conversation they've had before.

Jensen leans into Jared. "You're quiet," he murmurs.

Jared shrugs and gives Jensen a small smile. "I'm not good with strangers," he replies softly, and Jensen puts his hand on Jared's shoulder and squeezes.

"So, what do you think?" Danneel prompts, and when her eyes meet Jared's she gives him an encouraging smile. "You think this is somewhere you wanna stay?"

"Frankly, this place sounds amazing to me," Jeff admits and looks at Jensen and Jared. 

"It does," Jensen says, and Jared gives a small nod, a bit more hesitantly. It does _sound_ good, but Jared isn't ready to let his guard down yet.

"Well, you're welcome to stay," Misha says. "We have some rules, but they're pretty simple. Do your work, don't be a dick, be considerate. That kinda crap." 

"Mish," Danneel scowls.

Misha rolls his eyes and grins a little. "I didn't say it was bad crap," he says.

"We're thirty-four people right now, four kids and a handful of teenagers," Danneel says. "We've got some space left in the bigger houses. You can pick any of the rooms that are still empty. We've got some mattresses, too. It's not much, but it's decent. We've stored everything we didn't need in one of the barns; you can pick whatever you need." 

"We only need one room," Jeff says pointedly. Jared tenses again.

Misha's eyebrows go up and there's a moment of silence before Danneel nods. "That's fine," she says. "So… uh, three separate mattresses or one?" 

"One," Jensen says. 

Jared curls his hands into fists in his lap as he waits for the reaction. Instinctively, he wants to get up and run, but he forces himself to sit still.

"Okay," Misha says. "That's cool. Right, guys?"

"Well, we might have some trouble finding a bed that's big enough for three guys your size, but, sure, it's cool," Danneel says with a grin and Jared can feel his cheeks heat up, but he appreciates her easy, teasing reply at the same time. 

Even Jim, who Jared has been feeling the most wary of, nods.

"Whatever floats your boat," Jim says gruffly, but his lips turn up a little. "I don't give a fuck about what you guys do as long as you're decent people." 

"Will everyone feel that way?" Jeff asks.

Jim shrugs. "I don't really know. But honestly? We all have bigger problems these days than worrying about who someone fucks."

"And there's the _don't be a dick_ rule," Danneel reminds them with a small smile. 

*

There's a faded, framed poster of a painting on the wall in the room they settle in—Jared thinks it might be a Monet, but he isn't sure and he doesn't care enough to ask Jeff or Jensen. It's better than staring at a blank wall, anyway.

The furniture is sparse, but Jared's happy they have anything at all. There's a closet and a dresser with an old mirror with a thick, ornate wooden frame around it, above it and they did end up finding an actual king-sized bed and a mattress in the barn. It's a heavy wooden frame, reminding him of the furniture his grandparents had and it's probably just as old. It creaks a little. But it's an actual _bed_.

Jared sinks down onto the mattress, feeling some of the day's stress drain out of his body, his back aching now that his muscles relax.

"Tired?" Jensen asks.

Jared looks up and gives a small smile. "Yeah. Being around this many people is kinda exhausting," he admits.

"God yes," Jeff agrees and rolls his shoulders. "It's gonna take a while to adjust to the noise and bustle again. Were kids always this loud?"

Jensen chuckles. "On the bright side, there was decent food and we're cleaner than we have been in a while and we have a fucking _room_ ," he says. "It'll be nice to get some sleep without having to worry." 

"Did you lock the door yet?" Jared asks, worrying his lower lip between his teeth. Jeff moves closer, standing in front of Jared, and he cups his face, tips it up and bends down to kiss him. 

"It's locked, baby," he murmurs. "We're safer than we have been in a long-ass time. Okay?" 

"Okay," Jared says, leaning into Jeff, resting his turned face against his belly and relaxing into his warm, familiar body. 

He yawns. 

They only walked for a few hours today and they didn't do much since they got here. Danneel and Misha showed them around, introduced them to more people and showed them a couple of empty rooms to choose from. There was dinner and showers—they'd built stalls with some wooden slates behind one of the barns and hung up camping showers, bags with a small shower nozzle attached. Jared didn't think he'd ever get to take a shower again, and even though it had been short, it had felt incredible.

"I guess that means it's bedtime," Jensen says, and Jared nods. 

He heaves himself back up, feeling sluggish, and starts stripping out of his clothes. The room isn't quite dark yet, the sun still setting on the horizon, but another yawn escapes Jared as he slips under the blankets. 

Their sleeping bags are stored away in the closet and the only gun they're keeping on hand is Jensen's, resting on the small nightstand. Jared scoots up all the way to the left side of the bed, against the wall, and Jeff gets in behind him, Jensen following right after.

Jared turns and shifts so he can press up close against Jeff and throw his arm around him to touch Jensen as well. The silence of the room is almost unnerving, but Jared still nods off quickly.

*

"You ever worked on a farm, boy?" Jim asks him the next day as they're on their way out to clean the chicken coop. Jared looks back towards the main buildings, wishing he could have stayed with Jeff and Jensen, but he felt like he couldn't say no when Jim asked for his help.

"No," he answers hesitantly. 

Jim's expression softens a little. "It's not that hard. You can stop looking like someone will attack you, Jared," he says. "And this isn't a test either, okay?" 

"Okay," Jared says, feeling a little better. He tries to smile, but he knows it comes out weak. Being separated from Jensen and Jeff, even if he doesn't have to worry about being in danger, makes him feel a little anxious.

"You're not a people person, huh?" Jim asks.

Jared shrugs his shoulders, following behind Jim as they head for the coop next to the barn.

"People haven't exactly given me a reason to be one," he says after a moment.

Jim glances at him and then nods. "I know what that's like," he admits. "Wasn't until I met my wife that I started to believe there are some truly good people in this world." 

"I'm sorry you lost her," Jared says softly and Jim shoots him a small, tight smile. 

"Me, too," he says. "But there are some good folks here, too. I'm not gonna ask you to trust us, because I know that takes time. But you'll see." 

"I hope so," Jared agrees, nodding. 

"Now, come on. Let's make a farm boy out of you," Jim says and grins. "I hope you don't mind getting your hands a little dirty." 

Jared snorts. "I'm more used to being smudged with dirt than being clean these days." 

"Good. That's the spirit," Jim says with a nod.

*

Jared trails after Jim for most of the morning, helping him with whatever Jim asks him to do. A loud gong sounds through the camp when the sun is high in the sky, and Jared flinches, startled, but Jim grins at him.

"Lunch," he explains. "It's a pain in the ass to walk around and get everyone together without the gong."

He claps Jared on the shoulder and Jared follows him to the house that's at the center of the little camp. There's a small square there, too, with a well in the middle.

One of the ground floor rooms of the house has been turned into a dining hall and there are tables and benches outside as well. Jared grabs a bowl of soup that Danneel and a tall blonde guy hand out and then goes to find Jensen and Jeff, who are sitting at a table outside with two women and another guy.

He sits down next to Jensen, who immediately leans in until their arms bump together. 

"Good morning?"

"It wasn't bad, actually," Jared says.

"Dude, how'd you do that?" the guy sitting across from him asks. He's squinting at Jared, blond hair falling into his face. "Jim totally took a shine to you. I saw you guys together by the barns and he was actually laughing. He never laughs."

Jared shrugs. "We got along, is all," he says.

The guy's eyes widen a little, face almost awed. "Man, wrapping older men around your finger must be your secret superpower or something." 

"Please ignore Chad," the girl sitting next to him says, rolling her eyes. 

"Fuck you, Gen." 

"In your dreams," Gen replies, and Jared ducks his head to hide his grin.

*

Jared is surprised by how easily they settle in. There always seems to be something to do and it keeps everyone busy, and now that they're not on the move and don't have to worry about finding shelter for the night and food, he's glad to have something else to do. Jensen joins in on a few hunting trips in the nearby forests—and Jared's stomach churns every time Jensen leaves the fenced-in community—and they all try to pitch in wherever they can. Jared does a lot of small chores, from feeding the animals to cleaning and chopping things for dinner, and it feels good to know he's doing his part. 

But his favorite part, without a doubt, is closing the door to their room at the end of the day and locking it. Being alone with Jeff and Jensen almost feels like before, like it's just the three of them in the world and nothing else matters. It's only there that he really lets his guard down and unwinds. 

It took a week before they finally emptied their backpacks out completely, sorting their clothes into the closet and storing everything they didn't have need for anymore into one of the dresser drawers. There's nothing much in the room, but it starts feeling like a home a tiny bit more with each day that passes.

Being around so many people after weeks of being with only Jeff and Jensen slowly starts getting easier, too. Jared gets used to hustle and bustle, to the chatter and laughter and even the noisy dining room. He thinks he could _actually_ become friends with some of them as well, even though making friends has never come easily to him. He likes working with Jim, even when they're silent together, and Danneel and Genevieve are both pretty easy to hang out with. Hell, he even likes _Chad_ , even though neither Jensen nor Jeff get why and tease him for it endlessly. Jared isn't quite sure what it is about Chad either, but his careless humor is amusing and he likes that the guy has no filter.

But unless Jensen and Jeff are close-by, things never feel quite right, he can never quite relax. Sometimes he worries he's too clingy, but then the three of them curl up in bed together, touching and kissing, and it feels so right. Feels like this is where Jared is supposed to be.

*

"Just think about it," Genevieve says, taking the dripping plate Jared hands her and starting to dry it. "We made horrible movies out of every goddamn thing that happened in the past. I mean, _Titanic_?"

"So you really think there'll be a movie about someone falling in love with a creeper?" Jared asks. "Never mind that you think there'll be movies again one day." 

"The technology is already there; we just need to get back on our feet," Genevieve argues. "And I'm not saying it'll be a good idea. It'll be bad. So, so bad. Sharknado levels of bad."

"You're weird," Jared notes. "Who would watch that?"

"People watched a girl getting abused by a sparkling vampire, too. We have bad taste, that's my point," Genevieve says and takes the last plate from Jared. "I guess, lucky for us, it'll probably be a long, long time before we get back to how things were and we'll be long dead by then." 

"Yay," Jared snarks and grabs another towel to dry off his hands. "Done." 

"Finally," Genevieve says. "I never appreciated dishwashers the way I should have."

"At least you got the better job," Jared says. "My hands looks like prunes." 

"I'm sure some guys are into that," Genevieve says placatingly, patting his arm. 

She starts putting the dishes away while Jared picks up the big plastic basin they use to do the dishes in and carries it outside, pouring the water out. He shakes the basin a little to get a few more drops off and is about to go back inside to dry it off and put it away when he sees Jensen across the square.

Tom is with him, laughing at something Jensen is saying and touching Jensen's arm. 

Jared's noticed Tom being around Jensen a lot these past few days, always hanging around, trying to talk to him and catch his attention. And Jared's seen the way he looks at Jensen, the glances he sneaks at him. 

Jared feels a flare of jealousy low in his stomach, watching them now.

He remembers Jeff saying Jared was Jensen's type, and if that's true then Tom probably is, too—almost the same height as Jared, around the same age; same messy hair, though it's darker. Even Jared has to admit the guy is pretty damn attractive, more charming and a lot less awkward than Jared can be. 

Jared sighs and turns around, going back inside to help Genevieve put the remainder of the dishes away. He's wiping down the counter when he hears heavy footsteps approaching. 

"Hey," Jensen's voice sounds and Jared glances over his shoulder to give him a smile before tossing the rag aside. "Are you guys done?" 

"Yup," Genevieve says. "Which means I can leave you two alone." 

She smirks and then tosses her dishrag at Jared before slipping past Jensen.

Jensen closes the distance between them and curls his hands around Jared's hips, tugging him closer with a smile.

"I saw you out there," he murmurs as Jared loosely wraps his arms around his neck. "Just wanted to come say hi."

He leans up and brushes his lips against Jared's. 

"Jen," Jared says and glances around the empty kitchen before looking back at Jensen. "Anyone could see us."

"So? Everyone knows about us," Jensen says and leans in for another kiss. Jared lets him, allowing the kiss to last for a few seconds, before he pulls away. Sometimes he still worries about other people's reactions to them—nobody's said anything to them so far, but he doubts everyone is truly comfortable with them. And even if they are, there's a difference between knowing someone is gay and seeing it and he doesn't want to push things too far. 

He doesn't pull away from Jensen completely, though, letting himself be held close against Jensen.

"I saw you, too. Out there," he says quietly.

Jensen nuzzles his jaw and presses his lips to the skin there. He's smiling when he draws back, but then his expression gets softer. "What is it, Jay?" 

Jared sighs. "Tom was with you," he starts.

He sees something in Jensen's expression and he knows Jensen can already guess where this conversation is heading. Somehow, that makes it easier to continue.

"He likes you," Jared says. "And I guess I should be secure in our relationship and not care, but I _care_." 

"You know you have nothing to worry about, right?"

Jared shrugs. 

Jensen lets go of Jared with one hand and touches his cheek, brushing some hair back. "I don't think there's anyone better than you, Jay," he says. "Gotta share first place with Jeff, of course. But nobody else even comes close. You two are it for me."

"Jensen," Jared murmurs, his heart suddenly beating faster in his chest. He licks his lips nervously before speaking. "I love you." 

Jensen smiles and then he's kissing Jared again. It's all slow and deep, their mouths sliding together, and Jared makes no move to stop him this time. His fingers curl into Jensen's shirt, thumb sliding over the warm skin above the collar. He parts his lips when Jensen almost lazily licks his way into Jared's mouth, sliding his tongue against Jared's.

They break apart with a soft noise, and Jared leans his forehead against Jensen's, their noses brushing. He feels flushed, his cheeks hot. His lips twitch into a smile and Jensen swipes his thumb over Jared's mouth, dragging his lower lip back and forth slowly.

"You're supposed to say it back," Jared murmurs, his heart racing.

Jensen moves his thumb to the corner of Jared's mouth and presses another kiss to his slack lips, and Jared can feel his smile. "I love you, too," Jensen says quietly.

*

At dinner that evening, Tom glances at them but walks past their table, even though there are still a couple of empty spots. He finds an empty seat a few tables over instead. Jared isn't sure, but he thinks his cheeks look a little pink. 

"Did you talk to Tom?" Jared asks later as they head into their room together.

"It bothered you, so yeah," Jensen says.

"I feel like I'm missing something," Jeff chimes in, sounding amused. "Is this about Tom's Texas-sized crush on Jensen?" 

"Yeah," Jensen says, while Jared huffs, ducking his head in embarrassment. He feels a little stupid for making a big deal out of the whole thing, but part of him feels entirely too pleased that Jensen told Tom to cut it out. 

"Okay. Doesn't explain why you both seem so damn happy," Jeff says. "Jared hasn't stopped smiling since dinner."

Jensen hums. "We came to the conclusion we're pretty damn happy together," he says playfully and steps closer to Jeff, tugging him in by the shirt. "With you, too, by the way."

"Oh yeah?" Jeff grins and lets himself be pulled in, meeting Jensen's lipsin a kiss. Jared watches them, their mouths moving together, both of them smiling. 

"Hmm, I like this," Jeff says, licking his lips as they part. "Maybe we should move this to the bed." 

"God yes," Jensen says, and Jared already feels heat spreading through his belly.

They get undressed, leaving their clothes in heaps on the floor, and Jeff pulls Jared into a kiss, hands settling on Jared's before they even make it to the bed. They settle down with Jared in the middle eventually, Jensen pressing a kiss to Jared's lips before he moves lower. He starts kissing and biting at his pecs and toying with his nipples while Jeff curls around him from behind and starts stroking Jared, his own cock pressing hard and heavy against the small of Jared's back. Jared is reduced to whimpers and gasps, hands touching Jensen restlessly, and he starts working his hips back against Jeff, shifting until Jeff's cock presses between his cheeks.

Jensen lifts his head, brushing his lips over Jared's clavicle, then his neck, before leaning forward and Jared hears the wet sounds of Jensen and Jeff kissing deeply. Jeff's hand stops moving then lets go of him and settles on his belly, and Jared groans.

"Jeff," he says, arching between them.

"So impatient," Jeff murmurs, nuzzling behind Jared's ear, and Jared scoffs softly.

"Because you're being too damn slow, old man." 

"So _bossy_ ," Jensen says in the same tone of voice Jeff used and Jeff laughs. Jensen tilts his head down and kisses Jared gently. "How about you tell us what you want then, huh, baby?" 

He twists Jared's nipple, enough just to hurt a little, and Jared gasps.. "Anything," he says. "Just… _something_. Please."

Jensen grins. He leans over Jared again and murmurs something to Jeff, his voice too low for Jared to understand anything.

"Fuck yeah," Jeff says and then pulls away from Jared.

Jeff nudges him onto his back, and Jensen shifts back as Jeff settles between Jared's legs. Jared expects his mouth on his dick, but then Jeff pushes his legs up and ducks down, licking down between Jared's cheeks and Jared whimpers. 

"Jeff," he cries out when Jeff's tongue glides over his hole teasingly. 

Jeff starts eating him out properly then, licking around his hole before working his way in. He fucks Jared with his tongue, getting him all wet, and Jared moans at the way it feels, Jeff's tongue slippery and hot, his beard rubbing all over Jared's skin. Jensen watches them for a while, hand lazily trailing over his own body.

"Close?" he murmurs to Jared, and when Jared bites his lower lip and nods, Jensen scoots closer, nuzzling Jared's neck while reaching for his cock. He strokes Jared slowly, kisses his jaw, while Jeff continues to lick and suck and nip at him.

"Come for us, baby," Jensen murmurs and Jared arches his back with a cry, pleasure uncoiling in his belly, and he spills all over his stomach.

He barely has time to recover, panting and his head spinning, before Jeff swipes his fingers through the mess on his belly and then replaces his mouth with two fingers. He presses them deep into Jared, and Jared keens, the sudden fullness almost too much. Jeff nuzzles his hip, kissing his thighs as he works him open, taking it slow and adding a third finger when Jared is loose enough.

When Jeff pulls out completely, Jared makes a whimpering noise, but then he feels his fingers rubbing over his hole again and start pressing back in. The stretch burns and Jared knows Jeff must have added a fourth, coaxing Jared wide open around them.

"Fuck," he hisses, tossing his head back and screwing his eyes shut.

"Too much?" Jeff asks.

"No," Jared says, widening his legs a little, and shaking his head. 

Jeff hums and twists his fingers in and out a few times, letting Jared adjust to the girth, nothing but spit and his come slicking the way. He stretches Jared wider, fucks him slowly with his fingers, and then pulls out. 

He leans over Jared then, his cock pressing against Jared's belly, and nips at his neck, then kisses his jaw. "Jen wants to fuck you," he murmurs.

Jared sucks in a breath and nods. His cock is starting to get hard again and the thought of Jensen fucking him, his cock so fucking big and thick, sends a new wave of arousal through him. "Please," he pants.

Jeff lifts his head and grins. "Wanna try something else, too," he says. "Think you can suck me off while Jensen fucks you?"

Jared's breath catches just at the thought, and he licks his lips, looking from Jeff to Jensen, who is watching them both with dark eyes. He nods. "God yeah," he says, his mouth watering. He loves sucking Jeff off, loves the way he feels in his mouth and the way he feels.

Jeff grins and pats Jared's hip. "Turn around," he instructs, and Jared flips around gracelessly, his limbs feeling like jelly. 

He shifts up onto his hands and knees, shuffles down into the middle of the bed when Jensen tells him to. Jensen gets in position behind him, and Jeff kneels in front of him, sitting back, his cock flushed and slapping against his stomach, the tip glistening with precome. He cards Jared's hair back and grins when Jared looks up at him. 

He hears Jensen spit into his hand a few times and the slap of skin on skin as he strokes himself, before he feels him shift and nudge against his hole. He's slick with spit and precome, but nothing else, and Jared breathes out, tries to relax, as Jensen slowly starts pushing into him. They ran out of lube a few weeks ago, stretching the last bit out as long as possible, but Jared doesn't mind it like that. He likes the way it burns a little, the way it feels to be stretched wide open by Jeff or Jensen. They're always careful, always make sure Jared is stretched and relaxed enough to take them.

Jensen sinks into him slowly, inch by inch, giving Jared time to get used to the stretch before working himself into him deeper. Jeff keeps touching him, the tips of his fingers rubbing over his mouth, stroking his cheek, and Jared pants, soft moans slipping out.

Jensen stills when he's buried deep, hips flush against Jared's ass, hands on his hips. Jared breathes deep, feels his hole clenching around Jensen before relaxing around the girth of him. Jared gives himself a few moments, waits for the light pain to ebb away a little, before he nods. "You can move, Jen," he murmurs. 

He feels Jensen's hands flex on his hips and he draws out a little, sinking back in slowly with a soft groan.

"So fucking tight, baby. Always feels so damn good around me," Jensen murmurs and Jared flushes a little with pride, gasping when Jensen pushes in a little harder on the next thrust.

His eyes fall down to Jeff's cock and he licks his lips. "Jeff," he says, his voice soft and needy.

Jeff hums and sits up, holding himself and letting the tip of his cock brush against Jared's mouth. Jared moans and then lets his mouth fall open, covering his teeth as Jeff slowly starts feeding him his cock with a low groan. 

Being filled from both ends, split open on both Jeff and Jensen's cocks, makes his head spin, not sure what to focus on, and it's the most heady feeling Jared has ever experienced. He tries his best to suck Jeff off while Jensen fucks him from behind, but he knows it's a bit sloppy and uncoordinated. Heat curls in his stomach, his dick achingly hard again. The drag of Jensen's cock against his prostate sends blinding hot sparks through him, and the taste and feel of Jeff on his tongue pushes his arousal to new heights. His arms and legs are trembling a little, and he moans and gasps around Jeff's cock, the sounds muffled and choked. 

Jensen takes it slow, burying himself in Jared over and over with long, deep thrusts, and Jeff's hips hitch forward restlessly, pushing in a little deeper before he draws back out, fucking Jared's mouth shallowly. Jared's eyes are watering, the coiling heat in his stomach getting tighter. 

Jeff comes first, bursts of bitter, salty come hitting Jared's tongue without warning as Jeff groans loudly, and he swallows it down greedily, basking in the way Jeff moans and murmurs his name. He pulls back, but leaves the tip of his cock in Jared's mouth and Jared suckles on it for a few moments, moaning around it, before letting it slip free with a wet pop. 

Jensen's grip tightens and he thrusts in a little harder, once, twice, three times before Jared comes with a cry and feels Jensen follow him over the edge, spilling hot and wet inside of him.

*

Jared's helping Jim pull weeds out between the sprouts of cabbage and lettuce when Tom approaches. 

Jim gives them both a look. "I think I'm gonna start on the patch all the way over there," he says pointedly and moves a few patches down the row, out of earshot.

"Hey," Tom says.

"Hi," Jared replies hesitantly. 

"Can we talk for a second?" Tom doesn't look mad, or upset, and so Jared nods. 

"Sure," he says, but it feels awkward.

Tom gives him a weak smile and kneels down. He starts helping, pulling out a few tiny growths of weeds. "I just wanted to say sorry," he says after a moment of silence. "Jensen took me aside and talked to me the other day. And I just… didn't realize I was being that bad. And I didn't want to upset you." 

"It's okay," Jared says, hoping that's the end of it. Tom makes a small face and sighs.

"I hope you know I totally respect that he's not available. I wasn't doing it because I was hoping he'd leave you and Jeff or anything. I mean, obviously that's never going to happen, everyone knows that," he continues and clears his throat. "There was this guy who I had a crush on forever. Jensen kinda reminded me of him, you know? That's all." 

Jared nods. "Okay," he says. 

"So, apology accepted?" 

"Yeah," Jared says and gives Tom a small smile. "No hard feelings, don't worry." 

"Good," Tom says. "You're lucky, you know. I'm pretty sure everyone else around here is straight. And I know we all have bigger problems now, but it'd be nice to have someone." 

"You can still meet someone," Jared points out and sits back, dropping the weeds into a bucket by his hips. 

"Yeah, I'm sure the guy of my dreams is gonna just show up here any time now, and he'll just happen to be gay, too," Tom jokes with a snort.

"Well, it worked for me," Jared says. "You—" 

"Jared!"

His name being yelled interrupts Jared and he stops and looks up, seeing Genevieve hurrying over. 

"Jared," she repeats, and Jared realizes she's crying. 

"What's wrong?" he asks and gets up. "Are you okay?" 

"There were some creepers in the forest," Genevieve says, sniffling. 

"Jensen," Jared says, his throat closing up. Jensen headed out with Matt and Amy to hunt not a couple of hours ago.

"He's okay. But Matt—" Genevieve says, but Jared is already brushing past her, breaking out into a run. 

Jensen's okay, he tells himself as he runs towards the gates, but he still feels his chest tighten with fear anyway. 

There's a cluster of people by the gates and he scans them until he spots Jensen, being hugged by Jeff, and he breathes a little easier.

Jeff sees him first, the smile he gives him pained, and he untangles himself from Jensen so Jared can hug him when he gets close. 

"Jensen," Jared pants and wraps his arms around Jensen's neck as Jensen slides his arms around him and pulls him in close.

"I'm okay, baby. I'm okay," he murmurs, but he sounds wrecked. Over Jensen's shoulder, he can see Amy, her face hidden in the crook of Danneel's neck, her shoulders shaking.

Jensen sniffles and pulls away slowly, giving Jared's waist a little squeeze before turning around.

"Amy," he says. 

Amy pulls away from Danneel, wiping her eyes. 

"Amy," Jensen repeats. Amy looks at him, her lower lip quivering, and then shakes her head and pushes past Danneel and hurries away.

Danneel sighs, her eyes red and wet, too. "I'll go talk to her."

"What happened?" Jeff asks. 

Jensen glances at the others and swallows before glancing at Jeff. "Two creepers. They must have already been there, because we didn't hear them approach. They got Matt before Amy and I could shoot them," he says, his voice thick. "He was still alive, but… I didn't have a choice. He was bleeding pretty heavily and they _bit_ him. Even if he had made it, he would have been turned." 

"He was infected, Jensen," Misha says from behind them. "You did the right thing."

Jensen nods curtly and takes a step back from Jared and Jeff. "I think I need some space right now," he says and there's so much anguish in his voice, Jared's heart breaks. 

"Whatever you need, Jensen," Jeff murmurs, and Jared nods even though the last thing he wants to do is letting Jensen go.

*

"You sure we shouldn't go check on him? Talk to him?" Jared asks softly, following Jeff into the barn. 

"He wanted space, baby," Jeff says with a sigh. "He'll be fine. He just needs a little time alone."

There's a pitchfork lying on the ground, where Jared guesses Jeff dropped it earlier, and Jeff gives it a small kick.

"It could have been him," Jared says quietly.

Jeff turns and looks him, his expression pained.

"Come here," he says and opens his arms. Jared steps into them, sinking into Jeff's embrace. "It wasn't. It wasn't him, so let's not think about that."

Jared sniffs, but nods, burying his face in Jeff's neck as Jeff tightens his arms around him. He kisses Jared's temple.

*

In an effort to distract themselves, Jeff suggests they both go back to finishing their work. He drags Jared into a hard, deep kiss before they part, cupping his face in his hands as he murmurs, "I'll see you when we finish up, okay, baby?"

Jared doesn't last long, his stomach churning the entire time with worry about how Jensen is doing, and he gives up. He's given Jensen space, but he wants to at least check up on him, make sure he's doing okay.

He asks around if anyone knows where he is, and it's Chad who finally points him to the decayed stone cottage that's near the southern border of the fence. 

"He's working out some aggression," Chad says.

"Thanks, man," Jared says and nods before heading in that direction.

The roof of the cottage is long gone and one wall has half caved in already. They have plans to tear the whole thing down and Jensen is apparently getting a head start on it. Jared finds him swinging a sledgehammer at the wall that's already half gone. He's stripped down to a t-shirt even though it's not that warm, which is clinging to him with sweat, and Jared is relieved to see he's at least wearing a construction helmet and protective goggles. The noise is loud enough that he doesn't notice Jared approaching until Jared is a few feet away. He drops the hammer then and Jared gives him a hesitant little smile.

"I know you said you wanted some space," he starts.

Jensen pushes the hat off and removes the glasses, drops both onto the ground next to the hammer and runs a hand over his face. His face is smudged with grime and flushed with exhaustion, and he manages to just smear the dirt around more.

"You can get closer, Jay. It's okay," Jensen says and gives him a tight little smile. "I'm sorry I pushed you and Jeff away like that."

"You didn't," Jared says, shaking his head. "You can ask for space. I just… wanted to check on you, I guess. Do you want me to leave?"

Jensen shakes his head. "I'm fine," he says. "Come here, baby."

Jared nods and then closes the last few steps between them and hugs Jensen. "I'm so glad you're okay." 

Jensen sighs and kisses the side of his neck. He holds Jared for a few seconds and then steps back. "Wanna smash a wall?" he asks. "Makes you feel better."

Jared lets out a short laugh, wiping his eyes as he nods. "Okay, yeah," he agrees. 

Jensen hands him the helmet and glasses, then the hammer. Jared waits before Jensen has moved out of the way before he takes the first swing.

It doesn't take long before his arms ache and he's sweating as much as Jensen. 

"Jay, wait a second," Jensen calls, and Jared stops and turns, his breathing heavy. He tenses when he realizes Jensen wanted him to stop because Amy is approaching them, looking unsure.

"Hi," she says when she's close enough. Her attempt to smile looks more like a grimace, her eyes red and puffy and her hair tangled. She has her arms wrapped around her middle.

"Hey," Jensen echoes, sounding just as hesitant. 

Amy glances at Jared, who smiles at her, before looking back at Jensen.

"Jensen," she starts, her voice breaking. "I just… wanted to say sorry." 

"You have nothing to apologize for. Amy, I'm the one who's sorry." 

"You had to do it," Amy says, sniffling. "I know you did. They bit him. It's just… he was my best friend." 

"I know," Jensen says.

"We've known each other pretty much all of our lives. He was… he was all I had left," Amy says, a tear sliding down her cheek. "And I know you had to. But seeing him die…" 

Jensen nods. "I know exactly what that's like. I know how much it hurts." 

"Yeah?" 

"Yeah," Jensen says.

Amy attempts another smile. "I just wanted to tell you I'm not mad at you. I just… I need some time," she says. 

Jensen nods and when Amy steps closer, he hugs her. "I'm so sorry," he repeats.

*

"Let's go sit," Jensen says when Amy has left. He tangles his hand with Jared's once Jared has set the helmet and glasses aside, and then leads him around the cottage. There's a meadow behind it that the fence cuts through, and then it's just endless fields. Jensen sits down with his back to the wall and Jared sits down next to him, as close as he can without crowding Jensen in. 

"I never want to have to do that again," Jensen sighs. 

"I hope you don't," Jared says. "But you did the right thing. Both for Matt and your friends back home."

Jensen nods slowly, not looking quite convinced. "It's different when it's someone you know. Someone you care about," he mutters and then gives Jared a small, pained smile. "Doesn't feel right then."

Jared takes Jensen's hand in his and brings it up, pressing his mouth to it. 

"You know, if it was you or Jeff, I don't think I could do it. Or let anyone else do it," Jensen continues. "I'd just… let you bite me and turn me too." 

Jared snorts. "I guess that's weirdly romantic," he says.

Jensen rests his head against the wall and turns towards Jared. "Isn't it?" he asks with a snort, and Jared is glad he's looking a little less pained, his eyes brighter.

"I wouldn't either," Jared admits. "But the thought of being a creeper freaks me out, so I hope you'd just kill me and eat me."

Jensen worms his arms around Jared and pulls him in. "Never," he murmurs and kisses Jared's temple, keeping his mouth pressed to the spot for a few moments. 

Jared hears footsteps then and feels Jensen tense at the same time. He lifts his head just as Jeff rounds the corner, and Jensen relaxes again.

"Hey," Jared says.

Jeff looks at them both and then lets out an amused huff, smiling softly. "Well, I guess we both suck at giving Jensen space, huh?" he asks.

Jared smiles back. "Yeah," he agrees.

Jeff sighs and sits down with them on Jensen's other side. "How are you, baby?" 

"I'm okay," Jensen says and loosens his hold on Jared, who sits up a little straighter again.

"Yeah?" Jeff prods, sliding his arm around Jensen's shoulder.

Jensen nods. "Yeah, promise," he says. 

"Hey, Jeff," Jared says and leans into Jensen, peering at Jeff. "If Jen and I got turned, what would you do?" 

"What kind of fucked up question is that?" 

"Just answer it," Jensen says. 

Jeff huffs. "I'd shoot you and then myself," he says. "Why?"

"Huh," Jared says. He rests his head on Jensen's shoulder and Jeff's hand settles on his nape, tugging at his hair once before he starts carding his fingers through it. "I'd let you eat me. Jensen would let us turn him." 

"What does that say about us?" Jeff asks.

Jensen takes Jared's hand in his, settling them on his lap, and Jeff rests his free hand on top. 

"That none of us know how to live without each other, I guess," Jared murmurs, the humor gone from his voice now.

"Let's hope we won't have to find out," Jensen says quietly, and Jared feels Jeff squeeze both of their hands. "Not for a long, long time at least."

Jared sighs. Jeff is still running his fingers through his hair, the gentle tugs as he plays with it soothing, and Jared slowly feels the tension of the day drain from his body. They're all here, they're all okay, he reminds himself. And whatever will happen in the future, whatever they will have to face, they will do it together, the three of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can come find me on twitter [here](https://twitter.com/whispered_story).


End file.
